chados Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 my ex girlfriend dumped me, she initiated contact two times, the first one 2 weeks after and the other one 3 weeks after, i ended the conversations after 5-10 texts, i did contact her once. she answered every text fast even when she was at her friends place, which she normally when we were together wouldn't do. so it got me thinking that she liked to talk to me. some girls have been hitting on me after the breakup, kinda funny that they only do this when you get single. not before you were in a relationship. she knows this, i'm sure of it. well i called her today, and this is the first time she didn't answer. why do girls contact you once a week after the breakup and then ignore you?, does this mean she misses me? or the opposite?
ChelseaLS Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 You are reading WAY to much into this. Why did you call her anyways? There could be a million legitimate reasons for not answering the phone, but you are pulling at strings here.
Author chados Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 You are reading WAY to much into this. Why did you call her anyways? There could be a million legitimate reasons for not answering the phone, but you are pulling at strings here. of course i am, i just want to know why she suddenly wont answer me. if i ask you this way. why do girls often after they've dumped you, starts to initiate contact and sometimes when you contact them they ignore you?
ChelseaLS Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Its not just girls. It's everyone. People initiate contact for many reasons including missing someone, but in way does that mean they want to get back together. And again for the ignoring, perhaps she was busy, sleeping, in a meeting, didn't hear her phone, family emergency, ignoring you, etc... millions of reasons.
Zabs Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 The only way to know is to take a step back.. One thing I DO know is that the MORE you try tofind out...the LESS successful you will be. I agree, it is frustrating..I know exactly how you feel...but think of it this way...you have your dignity if you do not chase. I am going out on a limb here but here goes; Me and my ex have been off for 16 months...but in all of that time..HE has NOT been able to leave me alone consistently. It ain't just about ego in this case..there are a myriad of other things going on which I won't bore you with..but you know when he comes forward the most? When I stop pressuring for reasons WHY he won't just remain NC and let me be. The truth is I KNOW why he won't let me be..and so does he...so does most of the WORLD but he just doesn't want to say it to me...so...what do you do? I tell you what you don't do...Break someone's balls even if THEY are initiating contact! Y'knmow why? It makes US look desperate, needy, insecure, and worst of all WEAK Have some pride in yourself...keep your mind busy...she will call and at some point she will talk to you properly...whether that is at a time that suits you, remains to be seen. Much love, Zabs xx
Author chados Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 The only way to know is to take a step back.. One thing I DO know is that the MORE you try tofind out...the LESS successful you will be. I agree, it is frustrating..I know exactly how you feel...but think of it this way...you have your dignity if you do not chase. I am going out on a limb here but here goes; Me and my ex have been off for 16 months...but in all of that time..HE has NOT been able to leave me alone consistently. It ain't just about ego in this case..there are a myriad of other things going on which I won't bore you with..but you know when he comes forward the most? When I stop pressuring for reasons WHY he won't just remain NC and let me be. The truth is I KNOW why he won't let me be..and so does he...so does most of the WORLD but he just doesn't want to say it to me...so...what do you do? I tell you what you don't do...Break someone's balls even if THEY are initiating contact! Y'knmow why? It makes US look desperate, needy, insecure, and worst of all WEAK Have some pride in yourself...keep your mind busy...she will call and at some point she will talk to you properly...whether that is at a time that suits you, remains to be seen. Much love, Zabs xx but you don't think that i might be pushing her away when she's getting the signs that girls are starting to talk to me and want me to approach her because she's insecure?, im no saying that i should contact her. but don't you think that some people are just to scared when they realize they might loose something that they ignore the situation instead?
Author chados Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 (edited) but you don't think that i might be pushing her away when she's getting the signs that girls are starting to talk to me and want me to approach her because she's insecure?, im no saying that i should contact her. but don't you think that some people are just to scared when they realize they might loose something that they ignore the situation instead? update, she texted me "what did you want"?, i asked her if she had 2 minutes to talk, and she called me up instantly. she sounded happy and agreed to a meetup later on:) Edited November 19, 2011 by chados
Zabs Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Hope it went well for you Chad:cool: Much love Zabs xx
Author chados Posted November 20, 2011 Author Posted November 20, 2011 Hope it went well for you Chad:cool: Much love Zabs xx thanks:) well hopefully it will. i just don't know right now. stick to NC or call about a week from now. i don't know if she's waiting for me to call. she broke up with me, so i don't believe that she would say, hey lets meet up tomorrow. maybe she's waiting for me to approach or maybe she just don't want to be cruel to me. ey zabs, would you call the other person up after they called you if you dumped him. or would you say, sure call me again if you want to?. and would you be happy to hear from him or would it feel weird? i've always got the impression that a girl don't initiate contact if they dumped you more then maybe once, just to make sure everything is okey. and they wouldn't call you up even when you call them they would try to get away with texting instead. in other words, they only speak with you if they got feelings for you. or if they are feeling guilty. sure they can answer a question, "do you like me yes or no?"/ "can i get my stuff back and so on". and they wouldn't agree to a meetup and constantly ask you questions if they just want to be friends?
Zabs Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Er..well Chad...I am a strange type of gal lol If I said "you can call me if you want to...I would either be hoping we could mend the rift and/or remain civil...but saying that it wouldn't always mean I would want a relationship... In truth, I have only ever stayed friends with one ex...and he was exceptional...but we weren't together long. As I recall when we split, we both cried...but we just weren't compatible. Last time I said "you can cal" it was to my ex and I was hoping for a reconciliation..but usually...it would mean being civil.. As for meeting up..I wouldn't do that with someone I was wanting to end a relationship with...too much scope for interrogation..I wouldn't put myself in that position. Once I end it with a person..that's it. As far as your sitch goes...kick back a little and try not to read too much into anything. You will drive yourself nuts. Don't appear desperate by calling...if she wants to meet...you can go...but just don't appear too quick..or she will think that's what you have been waiting for all along and it will not go in your favour..I can ASSURE you. Much love Zabs xx
smokey bear Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 The only way to know is to take a step back.. One thing I DO know is that the MORE you try tofind out...the LESS successful you will be. I agree, it is frustrating..I know exactly how you feel...but think of it this way...you have your dignity if you do not chase. I am going out on a limb here but here goes; Me and my ex have been off for 16 months...but in all of that time..HE has NOT been able to leave me alone consistently. It ain't just about ego in this case..there are a myriad of other things going on which I won't bore you with..but you know when he comes forward the most? When I stop pressuring for reasons WHY he won't just remain NC and let me be. The truth is I KNOW why he won't let me be..and so does he...so does most of the WORLD but he just doesn't want to say it to me...so...what do you do? I tell you what you don't do...Break someone's balls even if THEY are initiating contact! Y'knmow why? It makes US look desperate, needy, insecure, and worst of all WEAK Have some pride in yourself...keep your mind busy...she will call and at some point she will talk to you properly...whether that is at a time that suits you, remains to be seen. Much love, Zabs xx I think this was a great post!!!!!
california15 Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 ego boost. she wants to know if she still has power over you. Don't be a fish she can hook and reel in... then cast away when she decides she doesn't want you anymore. Don't be afraid to ignore her breadcrumbs. Don't think in not replying that you're conveying the message of not caring. You do care. About yourself and your healing process. Because it's time you put yourself and your feelings first. Its you time.
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