DannyT27 Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Well I'm hungover and havingba bad day, all I can thk abt is the ex the good times and bad, why didn't I pick up on the signals..I kind of had an inkling summat was wrong but she jus kept saying she felt really low in her self. I went out for afew drinks last night and one of my female friends told me that she heard that my ex is already seeing sum1... I've gotta admit I felt sick how has she moved on so quickly ? She's goin out tonight as she texted me stating where's she's goin so I didn't have to bump into her lol, but today I feel crushed I'm almost crying which is not like me at all. I no that I shouldn't but I'm gelous... I gave this girl my heart but I've now realised I took her for granted in some respects I wish she would just come bangin on my door and apologise. I seriously hate this feeling and the hangover can't of helped lol
Doona Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Im in the same boat, totally hungover and missing my ex so much. The hangover increases my anxiety. Just try get through today, and know that tomorrow will be better. Thats what I am telling myself.
mike588 Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Well I'm hungover and havingba bad day, all I can thk abt is the ex the good times and bad, why didn't I pick up on the signals..I kind of had an inkling summat was wrong but she jus kept saying she felt really low in her self. I went out for afew drinks last night and one of my female friends told me that she heard that my ex is already seeing sum1... I've gotta admit I felt sick how has she moved on so quickly ? She's goin out tonight as she texted me stating where's she's goin so I didn't have to bump into her lol, but today I feel crushed I'm almost crying which is not like me at all. I no that I shouldn't but I'm gelous... I gave this girl my heart but I've now realised I took her for granted in some respects I wish she would just come bangin on my door and apologise. I seriously hate this feeling and the hangover can't of helped lol Yea getting hammered sure doesn't help how you feel the next morning, been there done that. Don't feel bad about crying,let it out, it helps!
smudge21 Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Drink never helps, just makes you think about them more. Plus, when we go from having good times, like nights out, then to quiet times, we think about them again. Stuff like this happens to us all - so just accept the sadness, don't bottle it up, and work through it.
lolita jade Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 I went out last night and had a good time too. not hungover but not 100% Tired and a bit grouchy. I miss him badly today too. I feel like I want to call him but know I shouldnt. and wont. I wont be strong enough in any case to keep composed if he is nasty. The awful thing is I have been married for so long and now nothing. Because he has someone else it is like he doesnt miss me at all and I dont exist. When I have spoken to him he says he is too busy?? He is busy with kosha stuff but not too busy for everything but me.
ChelseaLS Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Well everyone... I too went out drinking lol. You have to remember alcohol is a depressant, then your hungover and you feel like ****... so it makes sense why we are all felling low today. We are all just hanging around hungover which gives us PLENTY of time to do nothing but think of our ex's. Danny, she may be seeing someone else, but I bet it's a rebound thing. It was probably on the advice of her friends to get out there and see someone else (I used to when I was much younger give my friends that kind of advice). lolita jade, he probably is thinking about you but look at it this way... he is doing you a kindness by not contacting you and always being busy, which can help you move on. It's a lot tougher to move on when they are always there (I know I work with my ex).
lolita jade Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Thats awful. I don't envy you working with your ex. How can you do NC? and everytime you see him it must be awkward. I know mine is doing it to help me move on. Just wonder if he is being brainwashed by new GF though.
ChelseaLS Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 My ex and I ended on good terms. Its supposed to be a break, and I am treating it as a break up. Although I cannot do NC I do LC.. to give us both time and space. When I see him, sometimes nothing, sometimes I melt and want to confess my undying love lol. He actually is a really great guy, and I wish the best for him, but I could NEVER be friends with him after this. Anyways, try not to think about what might be happening. It just puts you through a world of pain all over again. Harder said then done I know. Replace the negative thoughts with positive ones.
lolita jade Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 I know where you are coming from. For a yr when we were separated I tried to get back with him. We went for coffees, days out etc. Alot of the time I felt like I was treading on eggshells afraid of saying the wrong thing, even though I didnt actually say anything wrong. He says he went off with her as I didnt give him the space he needed. You must feel like you are treading on eggshells all the time. It must be like mental cruelty. Do you feel you have to do everything right or he will finish it? The was a time when he wanted to tell her he wanted a break (when he first told me) and he was cuddling me. I went (afraid of having regretable sex on his either side) He then spent weekend with her and has been with her since. I beat myself up for a) not giving him space and being all needy and b) going when he was going to tell her he would take a break. Considering I am his wife I am devastated he is so convinced now he is happy with her, when only 2 months ago he was unsure? I am positive most of the time but still have down times occasionally. And today is one of them. I am determined to have a great life most of the time
ChelseaLS Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 People are peculiar, and I think in most cases when they jump from unsure to sure in a short time, it's lying to themselves. I know there is no time limit on healing, but I don't believe it happens that fast. Perhaps they think they are sure, but I think it's more of a quick bandaid on the situation... thats just my thoughts. As for my situation, nope I don't feel like I am walking on eggshells around him. It's being called a break, but I am moving forward as if it is certainly over. I moved out 12 days after we broke up. For those 12 days before I got my apartment I stayed at friends and family houses. I was determined to give us both space right away. Since then I have just worked on myself, sat down and figured out my part in the relationship failing and how I can work on it. I don't feel like I have to do everything right, because in my mind I am telling myself it is over, so there is no fear of him ending it. In the beginning it was like being in limbo because I was holding out so much hope, but now I am moving forward and decided that if we do reconcile it will be a pleasant surprise, if not, well no harm. But it still hurts. I too try to stay positive and I am pretty good at it, but I have my low days.
lolita jade Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 I keep thinking he is fooling himself. But when I saw him last there was no emotion in his eyes. Trouble is he knows I am upset and still love him si that alone makes me think it cant be easy for him to move on knowing his wife of 25 years is hurting. Spending Christmas with her instead together with our 2 adult kids 20 and 23 hit home too. She has 3 younger kids and he doesnt do other peoples kids..... Anyway like I said just getting on with it no with some down times thrown in as I am only human Your way of thinking i so good. I expect he wanted you to hang around on a string. Reverse psycology is the key. He will probably hate you moving on. Stay positive Chelsea. You may not even want him after the way he has treated you? I can understand relationships get into ruts though. That was my mistake moving out as the rut was sooo hard. Was hoping the space would bring us closer and we could date. It had opposite effect as I was needy but you are strong!!
lolita jade Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 PS: back to subject of thread. No drink for me tonight so I hope it will be back to a positive Sunday I dont drink at home alone due to it's depressing effects. Just with friend's or out.
nu464 Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 What do you do to cheer yourself when you are having a bad day? I am having a bad day today, feeling very tearful and miserable. What can i do to cheer myself up?What do you all do to cheep yourselves up ??
mike588 Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 What do you do to cheer yourself when you are having a bad day? I am having a bad day today, feeling very tearful and miserable. What can i do to cheer myself up?What do you all do to cheep yourselves up ?? Throw my self into my work/job, go shopping and buy/treat myself to something I've wanted,go to the mall and look at pretty women,(yummy ha) hang out or talk with female friends, go to the gym. I know how hard it is,really! right after being dumped I lost interest in just about everything, no energy,depressed,sad etc. I'm 3 1/2 months into being dumped and it does get better but I do have my share of setback days. Your feeling tearful, it's ok, let it out,you'll feel better afterwards.
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