justconfused25 Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 I was just wondering what some of your opinions are on double standards. My gf can get mad at me for example going out with a girl friend 1 on 1 while I can't if she does it with her guy friend. I call her out on double standards and she says its just a girl thing. My question is that in a relationship, can you apply double standards to everything or are there some things that is just a "girl thing" or "guy thing"?
anne1707 Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 I was just wondering what some of your opinions are on double standards. My gf can get mad at me for example going out with a girl friend 1 on 1 while I can't if she does it with her guy friend. I call her out on double standards and she says its just a girl thing. My question is that in a relationship, can you apply double standards to everything or are there some things that is just a "girl thing" or "guy thing"? My first thoughts were double standard but I looked at your other posts to get a better idea of your situation and only 2 days ago you were posting about a woman you have been flirting with and are interested in. Is this the friend your gf does not like you spending time with? If so, then your gf is right to get mad with you. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3733432#post3733432
Author justconfused25 Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 That post was my actual situation with my current gf now 6 months ago . i just wanted to see how accurate the posters on this forum are :/. But to answer you, that girl i posted in my other thread has been my gf for nearing 6 months.
Author justconfused25 Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 Okay, i think this is getting too confusing lol. I have never cheated and have had only 1 girlfriend ever which is the one im referring to in my first post of this thread and my other thread! Aside from all that, what is your stance on double standard? Applicable to any situation in a relationship or some things can be considered a gender thing?
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 If your girlfriend is going out one on one with a male friend, then you also should be able to go out one on one with a female friend. It is not fair for her to apply a double standard to you when she is doing something herself. Now if she had decided to forgo going out one and one with male friends, that might be a different situation.
Author justconfused25 Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 That situation was just an example. Thanks for the input so far but my question isn't really if she was right or wrong with that example. My question is can you pull the double standard card on every single situation?
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Do you have a specific reason in asking this justconfused? It's a bit too much of a board question to ask if "double standards" are okay sometimes when we don't know what you consider a double standard.
oaks Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 I was just wondering what some of your opinions are on double standards. My gf can get mad at me for example going out with a girl friend 1 on 1 while I can't if she does it with her guy friend. I call her out on double standards and she says its just a girl thing. My question is that in a relationship, can you apply double standards to everything or are there some things that is just a "girl thing" or "guy thing"? It isn't a "girl thing". It might be an "insecure" thing, although the post that Anne pointed to might justify your gf's behaviour! Invite your gf with you when you go out with your female friend so that they get properly introduced and so that she sees that you are just friends and that there's nothing to be worried about (assuming that's the case).
phineas Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 If she does it, I do it. She don't like it? Too bad, she is free to go find someone who will let her walk all over him. I started seeing someone who had more than a few guy friends & would go out one on one with them & even to the one guys house (he was the definition of "beta" and deep in the friendzone for about 20yrs) but still, I was supposed to be ok with that & trust her & not be "controlling". But, she had a fricken conniption when a woman co-worker brought her laptop to my home & hung out with me & drank beer while I fixed it. Apparently "trust" & "controlling" behavior only works one way. I wound up ending things with miss double standard shortly after that because she was starting to keep tabs on where I was & who I was with but for some reason wouldn't tell others after a few months that she was officially with me. I wound up ending things with her because she just got annoying. 1
loversquarrel Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 If she does it, I do it. She don't like it? Too bad, she is free to go find someone who will let her walk all over him. I started seeing someone who had more than a few guy friends & would go out one on one with them & even to the one guys house (he was the definition of "beta" and deep in the friendzone for about 20yrs) but still, I was supposed to be ok with that & trust her & not be "controlling". But, she had a fricken conniption when a woman co-worker brought her laptop to my home & hung out with me & drank beer while I fixed it. Apparently "trust" & "controlling" behavior only works one way. I wound up ending things with miss double standard shortly after that because she was starting to keep tabs on where I was & who I was with but for some reason wouldn't tell others after a few months that she was officially with me. I wound up ending things with her because she just got annoying. I don't blame you, I wouldn't and haven't put up with that crap either.
Woggle Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 I agree with those who say that if she can do it I can too.
grkBoy Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 I don't live on any double standards and I call "BULLS**T" when someone pulls one out on me.
joystickd Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Show her a$$ the door and tell her to get on like she got s**t on. You don't need to keep accepting bad behavior from this woman.
RiverRunning Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 I was just wondering what some of your opinions are on double standards. My gf can get mad at me for example going out with a girl friend 1 on 1 while I can't if she does it with her guy friend. I call her out on double standards and she says its just a girl thing. My question is that in a relationship, can you apply double standards to everything or are there some things that is just a "girl thing" or "guy thing"? This is happening to you because you're allowing it to continue. Lay down the law for her - if you can't, then she can't. Now, let's be clear here. Is this 'girl friend' an ex-girlfriend while her guy friend is someone she's never had romantic attachments to in that way? Then I see her point and there's a clear difference there, in which case she's not at all wrong to set limits. However, if this is a generalized rule, then something needs to give. Either you both don't get to hang out one-on-one with opposite sex friends, or you both do. If you want to continue allowing this, then by all means do. But if you've had enough, after letting her know your boundaries one last time, tell her to be careful to not let the door hit her on the way out.
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