Jman171 Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 So for background you should really probably read this. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t306542/ Since then however, I have told my ex ,plainly, that friendship will not happen, and we need to part ways with one another. No matter how many times I go NC (or what I call NC because it is more like LC to be honest) it always seems she texts me no matter what. Anyways, she just recently lost her job, and I did text her and say I was sorry after I found out. I end up hanging out for about an hour with her just cause I felt sorry for her. After that as I'm about to leave she tells me that I still owe her $10 from the last time we hung out and she treated me to a surprise movie. So I get home and about 6 hours later she sends me a text stating that she "[doesn't] really want the ten dollars [she] just wants to hang out :(" The next day I replied, "don't worry you'll get your money back." Only a couple minutes later she texts me, "don't worry about the money." Followed by, "Just sad that I can't hang out with my best friend." I know I am partially at fault for even talking to her in the first place, but she knows that friends isn't possible, and she wants BEST friends. I don't think so. Especially not after she broke up with me for the second time, and then managed to sleep with one of my friends in my circle, thereby cutting me off from him and her. I guess I'm just venting; I know I should do NC. I'm so tired of being strung along, kept on the sidelines. She was the sweetest girl, I don't know what happened to her...
cylone Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 So for background you should really probably read this. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t306542/ Since then however, I have told my ex ,plainly, that friendship will not happen, and we need to part ways with one another. No matter how many times I go NC (or what I call NC because it is more like LC to be honest) it always seems she texts me no matter what. Anyways, she just recently lost her job, and I did text her and say I was sorry after I found out. I end up hanging out for about an hour with her just cause I felt sorry for her. After that as I'm about to leave she tells me that I still owe her $10 from the last time we hung out and she treated me to a surprise movie. So I get home and about 6 hours later she sends me a text stating that she "[doesn't] really want the ten dollars [she] just wants to hang out :(" The next day I replied, "don't worry you'll get your money back." Only a couple minutes later she texts me, "don't worry about the money." Followed by, "Just sad that I can't hang out with my best friend." I know I am partially at fault for even talking to her in the first place, but she knows that friends isn't possible, and she wants BEST friends. I don't think so. Especially not after she broke up with me for the second time, and then managed to sleep with one of my friends in my circle, thereby cutting me off from him and her. I guess I'm just venting; I know I should do NC. I'm so tired of being strung along, kept on the sidelines. She was the sweetest girl, I don't know what happened to her... Very often women want to remain friends after the break up. I don't know what's the deal with that, but nothing good usually comes out of it, so I never go for it. I remember when my first g/f broke up with me, my first reaction was "ok, I'll be her friend, she'll realize what a great guy I am and will want me back". Well.. that was a bad idea. I don't think it's possible to be best friends with your ex, casual acquaintances maybe (and only after you move on), but never friends.
EgoJoe Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 (edited) If you play it super cool and rebuild attraction when they are desperate for your friendship you can revitalize a relationship. It takes a constant commitment to doing this, alot of rejecting her and dating other people. It is not easy, for the faint of heart or the preferred method but completely possible. Pay her the money and start blowing her off. Also if she gets persistent set a boundary and say, "Look, I will never be just your friend. I might be willing to try it if it meant a definite roadmap to reconciliation whether it failed or not. But, not right now anyways. Leave me alone." Edited November 19, 2011 by EgoJoe
smokey bear Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 As a woman i have never wanted to stay friends with any of my ex's apart from one, but i took a good 3 months before i wanted that friendship, at the start i didnt want to see him. In hindsight, It stemmed from a realisation that I still wanted him in my life, for the rest of my life. Hence we ask and push for friends. This realisation later turned into realising I still had feelings for him. If you want to be her friend then do so. If you want to be more, reject her to see if this feeling of wanting you in her life develops. Don't be nasty just say the nc quote, i have to go nc to heal etc if you want recon then get in touch, and walk away. Be patient. If her feelings develope then you win, if not then you win by healing. I think she is confused, give her time and space to work our her friends feelings.
Recommended Posts