tbooie Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't 'be friends'. A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think 'it will get better.' You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with her, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the ending...compromise is a two way street. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Share this with other women and men (just so they know)...You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.
Rose_Petal Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Damn...I really should have Don't stay because you think 'it will get better.' You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. AMEN!!! Especially if you get dumped, knowing you were the one considering doing the dumping Always have your own set of friends separate from his. This is one of the most important things to remember! Oh my god I did the total oposite...I made sure all of my friends became his friends and after the brake up...I didn't even have any friends I could call my own! Most of them either ignored me because they "didn't want to have to take sides" or they just took his side Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. Truer words have never been spoken... Thanks for this Great advice!
ladyravenloft Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Thank you sooooooo much for posting this! There were so many things I should have done that are on this list but didn't.....and it would have saved me so much heartache. I'm going to send this to a few friends of mine that could use this advice.
Rorschach64 Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. So much for openness and honesty....
Rose_Petal Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 (edited) Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. So much for openness and honesty.... lol you're right it is a little extreme But in my case I don't regret answering his questions or being honest about who I was haning out with and stuff (never had anything to hide, really). The only thing I regret is talking to him about some of my issues. Like at one point I was going through a rough time with a death in my family and I warned him that I can suffer from some anxiety in rough times like that just so he wouldn't take my abnormal behaviour in a bad way...well anytime I was seriously mad about something wrong he did he would always say "whatever, I know it's just your anxiety talking...I love you lets forget about it...ARGH that was so frustrating Anyway I think this just means to keep extremly personal things about yourself to yourself unless it actually creates and issue you have to adress. But of course being honest about things going on in our out of the relationship and feelings is very important...but keeping something personal is not bad...as long as it has no affect on the relationship or you're not hurting someone Edited November 19, 2011 by Rose_Petal
Rorschach64 Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 It is rather disgusting that you cannot trust another person to the degree you can confide in them because you have an insecurity that they will use it against you. Granted in your example Rose your ex should not have done that and I damn well know I would have not done that to someone I cared for. Then again we both know your ex was jacked up and immature anyway. You should want to share your strengths and weakness with your PARTNER/boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever the cool kids call it, instead of wanting to hide it like a poor little kid that just got his braces put on from the bullies in schoool
Rose_Petal Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 It is rather disgusting that you cannot trust another person to the degree you can confide in them because you have an insecurity that they will use it against you. Granted in your example Rose your ex should not have done that and I damn well know I would have not done that to someone I cared for. Then again we both know your ex was jacked up and immature anyway. You should want to share your strengths and weakness with your PARTNER/boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever the cool kids call it, instead of wanting to hide it like a poor little kid that just got his braces put on from the bullies in schoool I agree...that would ideal. Guess if you're with a good guy this shouldn't be an issue...good point.
Author tbooie Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. So much for openness and honesty.... I think what its ment by this is don't confide in him like you would to a friend. I told my ex that I thought this girl was a bi&*tch and this girl isn't a good person. Later on in the relationship he would use it againist me in a fight saying how I don't even like my friends and all sorts of stuff. Honestly however should never be withheld!
Mack05 Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 I love the honesty and realism of this post...
Mack05 Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 not really mate. I see guys like you, Wilson, Rorschanch, Ego, Gee, Chelsea, tbooie, etc etc the site is in good hands...
lolita jade Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Love isn't set in stone. Sometimes the rules come from the heart. But yes it is a good basis for how we should behave. Remember. The heart falls in love with who it wants to fall in love with not necessarily who YOU should fall in love with?? Life!!! No one said it was going to be easy
maxy1 Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 a lot of those things in the op can go both ways pertaining to girls and guys i just read this recently as well, seems true in a lot of cases: Biggest Problem In Love: Good Guy Gets Wrong Girl.. Good Girl Gets Wrong Guy.. They Fall In Love & Good Ones Get Cheated.. Now The Good Guys Thinks, All Girls Are Fraud.. & Good Girls Think, All Guys Are Flirts... When Good Guy Meets Good Girl, They Avoid Falling In Love & Become Just Good Friends..
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