Sunny74 Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 As recently as September and October he would persue me...text me first or call me first. Say things about how attracted he was to me Now it's all me initiating it... He's not called ME in 2 weeks and before that it had been 3 weeks. Now that, said, when I call him (2x a week ish) we can talk and have a blast...if he misses my call, he returns it immediately, but he rarely ever misses it-in other words he clearly isn't avoiding my calls. We talk for anywhere from 10-45 minutes at a time, easy flowing conversation, lots of back and forth, no uncomfortable lulls, he is just as engaged as I am. We see each other at work functions once a week and he stays near me, engages me in conversation, makes me laugh with silly jokes and will now and then make sly remarks about things he finds attractive in me, lots of touches on both our parts. Same thing on the phone...some real, deep conversation, some playfulness and always lots of flirting But still, he doesn't call me. Should I take that to mean he isn't interested or just that he'd rather I do the calling, and it's just as simple as that? I don't want to be one of those "What kind of relationship do you want?" PITAs, but I also don't want to keep calling him if he's probably not digging me. What do you think? Clearly I'm not good at playing "the game". One of my friends advised me to stop calling, but my thinking is "If we have a nice time and I like him, WHY would I stop?"
patagonia Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 clearly I'm not very good at these things but in my opinion if you like him, keep talking to him. Don't play the games, they get old real quick. I would say he enjoys you and that he is interested. But what do I know
ForgetMeNots Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Sounds like he has gotten comfortable to you calling him, and may not see a reason to call first if you going to do it for him. He may be busy,but I don't think busy has ever stopped a guy from wondering what his girl's been up to,which leads back to my first thought of, he hopes you will call him first and will let you keep calling first since you haven't given him a reason to assume you won't call anyways. Then there is the worst option, he likes your attention and company(everyone likes someone to talk to and have a friend or backburner run up when no one else is available),but not that interested in you. So here are my conclusions, he's gotten too comfortable or not that interested. If you are really comfortable with him,then ask him to call you. My guyfriend and I had this problem,and we basically came to a solution of taking turns to call. He called me, then I'd call him next time. Eventually it gets to the point that naturally we start calling each other whenever we felt like it,or something good or bad happens to us and we cant wait to tell the other about it. But to get to that point we had to first talk about why I was the only one calling him,and how I told him I did not like that and we compromised. This approach is the best way to handle it without games if yall both really care about each other. Communication. But if you want, you can play the game of not talking to him,and leaving him wondering. Sometimes that works but it can backfire and hurt them,because they will assume you lost interest in them when you havent. Then the guy can pop outta the blue 3 weeks later with a shy text of "yo,havent heard from ya in a while. what's up?" OR the backfire to this game strategy is the guy thinks you lost interest and doesnt moves on,because he wasn't interested very much for the long run and was hoping you'd pull all the moves. But who knows exactly what is going on, and this is why you should probably just cut the games and just Ask him about it. No harm No foul if yall are that close, if there is such defensiveness about the whole situtation, then how can there be further discussions about thee other little but difficult things later in the relationship? Nip this in the bud before this turns into months of you being unsatisfied and still asking Why, What's going on?
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