AmericanHoney Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 My boyfriend got into a fight over money and other things yesterday and needless to say we left on the wrong foot. I gave him my mea culpa and again said sorry we left on the wrong foot last night and when I checked my phone on my break he said give me some time. Time for what? Time to forgive me? Time to think things over?? We have been dating 4 months now and I am worried. Yes things didn't end good last night but I said I was sorry.
Feelsgoodman Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 My boyfriend got into a fight over money and other things yesterday and needless to say we left on the wrong foot. Need more details.
Author AmericanHoney Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 Yesterday my boyfriend were out for dinner having a good time and his phone rang which unusual he never gets calls. He said be right back honey! I had to use the restroom and I saw him over in the corner still talking very loudly I might add and he was laughing saying I should be done soon darling. He came back to the table and I said oh was that a important call? He said actually yes it was my boss he needs me tonight so we will have to finish our food and get going. I said I overheard you talking to someone and you called her darling do you call your boss darling and suddenly you have to leave? He flipped out and said let's pay for our check and go I have had enough of the accusations thank you. He was driving me back to my apartment and I said sorry but the way you were talking on the phone didn't sound very businesslike and he said what were you spying on me? I said no you were being very loud and I heard you call someone darling as I was going to the bathroom. He dropped me off and didn't say one word so basically we left on a wrong foot not talking about our situation. I texted him before I went to work saying sorry and didn't mean to accuse but you were acting awfully weird last night and then he said give me some time.
I have no title Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 you know, to be honest, it all sounds like he's got someone else...just think of it yourself : everytime you start talking about this, he always gets mads and he doesnt give you a clear answer, he always gets irritated + he says he needs time...which basically means that he doesnt want to see you or hear from you just now, so that he has time for that "someone else".....this is just what it looks like to me....sorry to say it though....
mpc2012 Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 he might want to get rid of you. he's playing passive-aggressive, which means he's not trying to break up with you, but have you do it becuase he's ignoring you. I've been guilty of doing the same thing with a girl I felt out with. I even acted as though I was hurt....cried and everything, but it worked and I do regret leaving some but life is life, so
forms Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Has he ever called you darling? You know he has another woman, and after he left you, he went to her. When you were at home last night feeling bad, he was with 'darling'. Interesting you opened by saying you had a fight about money. You didn't have a fight about money; you had a fight about him dating other women and him lying about it. Why did you say you had a fight about 'money and other things?'. You apologized because you don't want to face the reality. You are focusing on the money, because you don't want to focus on the issue. He needs time because he knows he's busted and the issue will come up over and over, and he's deciding if he even wants to go through that with you. He wants time because he knows the dual dating is about to come to an end and he's going to have to choose. And he's probably going to choose her. (after all he's taking time off from you, not her--he's testing out how that works for him; if he can live with it, you're history).
Author AmericanHoney Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 We started fighting about money when we went out that evening because I said it was my turn to pay and he said no it's my turn because you aren't making much and he said whatever. The other things or things was his phone call and his lying that is the other things. Money was just a small factor but yes the real issue was his lying and not telling me the truth about his other date. I would of never expected in a million years he would be going on another date with another woman because he told me a million times how important I am to him and how I picked him up when he had a nervous breakdown in the summer. I am sure he is upset I heard his convo and is upset he got caught but I had to find out sooner or later. He can swear up and down he loves me but if he truely loved me he wouldn't of lied to me.
Star Gazer Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Why give him time when he's cheating on you? Huh?
2sunny Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 so- now that you know - what are you going to do about it. and please don't say you're planning to apologize to him!
Author AmericanHoney Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 (edited) I suppose I will talk to him when he's done giving him some time and then meet in person and cut my loses with him. I want to stand by my man and hope this is a one time thing but in reality I know it probably isn't because once they stray once they will continue to keep straying. I love him very,very dearly and want to forgive him but part of me can't he was talking to another woman and making plans with her and then lying to me and saying his boss called him into work. You can try and forgive and forget but it happened and I cannot ever go back and pretend it didn't happen because it did. Edited November 19, 2011 by AmericanHoney
2sunny Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Thats a good plan. No need to wait on him; just call and tell him what you decided. You are right... You deserve more than what he's offering you. Be honest, tell him you're not willing to be with a man who lies, is sneaky and covers it up. Never settle! Xo
Author AmericanHoney Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 Exactly! That is why I got to say what I mean and not beat around the bush and tell him I will not put up with a liar or a cheater and if you do not change your ways I am walking your choice.
Feelsgoodman Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Why give him time when he's cheating on you? Huh? OP is a troll.
forms Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Thats a good plan. No need to wait on him; just call and tell him what you decided. Why make that much effort? He asked for 'time'. Give him an eternity. No need to tell him, "I'm giving you time" or "I'm breaking up with you" or "I've decided I don't want a cheater and deserve better." Just walk away. If he calls in a couple weeks... Hi, it's John. John? Yeah, John, how have you been? John who? John Evans. John Evans? Let him explain who he is, and keep up with the 'Do I know a John Evans?' bit. Then, "Oh yeah...the guy who 'needed time' or something. How'd that work out for you?"
2sunny Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Exactly! That is why I got to say what I mean and not beat around the bush and tell him I will not put up with a liar or a cheater and if you do not change your ways I am walking your choice. It's not his choice - it is your choice. By giving him the idea that you will take him back if he changes IS your choice to stay with a cheater. You stay - he will cheat.
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