DannyT27 Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Been a month since we BU and I feel like I won't meet anyone else.... Is it too soon ? I dnt even have my own place... Feel pretty low to be honest. Need someone in my life well that's what it feels like....
Bito Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Its only been one month... That's nothing man. And because you feel you need someone in your life to be happy you are not ready for another relationship. Find the happyness within you first before you go seeking it elsewhere. Its not easy I know but you will be a much stronger person if you let yourself heal first. Work on getting your own place and improveing yourself in every aspect. Stay strong friend.
ChelseaLS Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Been a month since we BU and I feel like I won't meet anyone else.... Is it too soon ? I dnt even have my own place... Feel pretty low to be honest. Need someone in my life well that's what it feels like.... We all heal at different speeds, but really a month is not that long. It's good to be single for awhile. Enjoy this time. Learn and grow.
Author DannyT27 Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 Thanks bitto n Chelsea, it's been a long time since I dated etc... Not used to it lol, i thought I'd found my soulmate unfortuney she feels different I feel awkward as all my friends are couples so I'm the odd one out now!
broken-and-lost Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Give yourself time m8 it's very hard and they really are no guaranties in life, i'm still not ready now. Just don't pin all your hopes on meeting someone else you have to find that happiness in yourself if someone then comes along it's a bonus
ChelseaLS Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Thanks bitto n Chelsea, it's been a long time since I dated etc... Not used to it lol, i thought I'd found my soulmate unfortuney she feels different I feel awkward as all my friends are couples so I'm the odd one out now! It can be awkward being single again. Don't even thinking about dating yet until as bito said, you are comfortable and happy with yourself. Remember that all of us on here, are going through it too. A month is nothing. I am on day 42 and I cannot fathom the idea right now of going out there and dating. And I won't until I am confortable, whether that takes 5 months or a year. Alone time is great time. You rediscover who you are, your goals and dreams, what you want in life.
FinOuch Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Oh man I remember feeling like that. Like there will never be anyone as good as him, and I'll never be able to feel that way about anyone. Blah blah blah. Then I did meet someone. Well, technically I already knew him. I just started hanging out with him a few months after getting dumped, and saw him in a whole new light. Still wasn't ready. We hung out as friends (with some weird sort of attraction thing going on, I think) for over two months before I finally got to a point where I realized a few things: -The breakup was actually a blessing in disguise. Hard to see as such at the time though. Only in retrospect do I realize I would never have been happy with my ex. -I sacrificed a lot of myself for that relationship. I've rediscovered myself, and I love me. -Yes, I'm capable of feeling love again. I'm just more cautious than I once was. -No, I won't feel the same and it won't be the same...but it very well may be much better. Don't try to force another relationship, and be patient with yourself. Focus on you for right now. Heal. Rebuild. Grow. When you've reached solid ground again, you'll most certainly find someone new. Hopefully better. 1
Author DannyT27 Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 I understand chelsea, it's definetly weird and I'm so out of practice lol. Like you said I'm just gonna focus on myself. It's just so hard when my ex is out clubbing almost every night and seems so fricken happy that's a kick in the gut on it's own... Like I meant jack **** to her! I'm pretty much skint as I have to save up so I can move out it's just a viscous circle and she's the one who caused all this... But I really do understand that she can't be with me but it doesn't change anything!!
ChelseaLS Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 I understand chelsea, it's definetly weird and I'm so out of practice lol. Like you said I'm just gonna focus on myself. It's just so hard when my ex is out clubbing almost every night and seems so fricken happy that's a kick in the gut on it's own... Like I meant jack **** to her! I'm pretty much skint as I have to save up so I can move out it's just a viscous circle and she's the one who caused all this... But I really do understand that she can't be with me but it doesn't change anything!! Oh Danny, Danny, Danny, just because your ex is out clubbing and living it up doesn't mean she isn't dying inside. My friend, she was the dumper actually, after the split she was out all the time clubbing and having a great time (so it looked like), inside she was crushed! When at home or it was just her and I, she would cry and cry and still does 5 months later. People sometimes go on a bender when they go through a break. But by no means are they happy. I myself walk around with a big ol' grin on my face, shoulders back, confident, I go out, etc my ex see's all this as we work together (He was the dumper, me the dumpee)... but I am terribly hurt inside. So don't think that she is not hurting... I gaurentee she is. 1
Author DannyT27 Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 Haha thanks chelsea she was doing a good job to convince me otherwise, in one respect I thk she's drinking to block the pain as she was never a big drinker... I really hope that in time we can reconcile... As I really do love her and we just got stuck in a rut and routine. I'm gonna go out tonight and socialise abit instead of babbleing on abt my ex haha
ChelseaLS Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Haha thanks chelsea she was doing a good job to convince me otherwise, in one respect I thk she's drinking to block the pain as she was never a big drinker... I really hope that in time we can reconcile... As I really do love her and we just got stuck in a rut and routine. I'm gonna go out tonight and socialise abit instead of babbleing on abt my ex haha Good stuff. Go out, don't get trashed as you may drunk dial or text haha. Don't ignore your emotions. Time and space.
M2155 Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 -The breakup was actually a blessing in disguise. Hard to see as such at the time though. Only in retrospect do I realize I would never have been happy with my ex. -I sacrificed a lot of myself for that relationship. I've rediscovered myself, and I love me. -Yes, I'm capable of feeling love again. I'm just more cautious than I once was. -No, I won't feel the same and it won't be the same...but it very well may be much better. I like FinOuch's post. It takes time but I've started to come to similar conclusions myself. But I do think dating SUCKS! Lol. I usually go a year between having anyone significant because it's hard to meet people who aren't crazy with issues and drama. But I really hope we all find someone that is 10x better than the ex in due time:). Time for a healthy dose of patience and loving yourself.
ChelseaLS Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 I like FinOuch's post. It takes time but I've started to come to similar conclusions myself. But I do think dating SUCKS! Lol. I usually go a year between having anyone significant because it's hard to meet people who aren't crazy with issues and drama. But I really hope we all find someone that is 10x better than the ex in due time:). Time for a healthy dose of patience and loving yourself. Ooo patience... how does one learn patience.. I am struggling. lol
mike588 Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 I understand chelsea, it's definetly weird and I'm so out of practice lol. Like you said I'm just gonna focus on myself. It's just so hard when my ex is out clubbing almost every night and seems so fricken happy that's a kick in the gut on it's own... Like I meant jack **** to her! I'm pretty much skint as I have to save up so I can move out it's just a viscous circle and she's the one who caused all this... But I really do understand that she can't be with me but it doesn't change anything!! Yea one month isn't alot of time. I know how you feel,,, my ex. went back to her ex. and I picture them so happy together,, so in love and I'm just a distant memory. I hope she's hurting just alittle if and when she thinks of me.She dumped me in a very cruel way.
Author DannyT27 Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 Well just went to my local and all her new mates are here... How awkward lol... Dnt knw where to look, luckily she's not out!!
ChelseaLS Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Well just went to my local and all her new mates are here... How awkward lol... Dnt knw where to look, luckily she's not out!! Just be confident, smile, etc.
fenderjames Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Hi , in my opinion 1 month is not near enough time . Although its a personal time frame for everyone .
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