Viking Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 When my gf posts something on facebook, there are always LEGIONS of guys scrambling to post something on about whatever she wrote. I really dislike social media. It makes me think a little less of her as it makes me view her as kind of an attention whore. Any comments or feelings? Disagree/Agree?
FinOuch Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Hard to really comment without more context. Such as... -What kind of updates? Are they leading/flirtatious in nature? -When you say legions...are we talking two or three? -What is the nature of her relationship with the respondents. Long time friends? Acquaintances? From what little information you've posted, I can see it going both ways. She could be an attention whore just as easily as you could be an overly jealous boyfriend.
Imageiko Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Lose the jealousy complex. You have a gf who is clearly attractive enough to earn interest from other guys. That's a compliment to you, no reason to get annoyed by it unless she's crossing the line and disrespecting you.
oaks Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Have you met these guys? Are they saying anything inappropriate? Do they know that your gf has a bf?
grkBoy Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Lose the jealousy complex. You have a gf who is clearly attractive enough to earn interest from other guys. That's a compliment to you, no reason to get annoyed by it unless she's crossing the line and disrespecting you. AGREED It's not that. Wouldn't you be kinda annoyed if these random guys kept FB your GF all the time? I bet it's not to share common interest either....they just want to feel special posting on some chicks FB. I can see how it can be annoying...specially if she replies to them all the time. uggg, FB. I recently deleted my "stalker" FB pages.. I'm 100% done there. I don't find it annoying. It's about TRUST. If you trust her, then guys can keep trying, even telling her over PMs that you're not "man enough" for her. It then comes down on HER to delete the creepy guys or tell them they have no chance. I personally would rather be betrayed and know someone as opposed to sitting there every day worrying if she'll betray me.
FinOuch Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 It's not that. Wouldn't you be kinda annoyed if these random guys kept FB your GF all the time? I bet it's not to share common interest either....they just want to feel special posting on some chicks FB. I can see how it can be annoying...specially if she replies to them all the time. uggg, FB. I recently deleted my "stalker" FB pages.. I'm 100% done there. No more annoying than if a random person hit on my significant other. At the end of the day, though, if I can't feel secure in his loyalty...whether because I'm jealous or because he's encouraging it...that's the problem. There's a much deeper problem at work here than social networking.
Star Gazer Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 This is how I see it. Posting a status update is like sitting in a room with friends and simply saying something - something that is on your mind in that moment. It's unreasonable to expect no one to comment on or respond to what you say, as it would be unreasonable to expect your friends in the room to remain mute after you've shared something.
FinOuch Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Nah nah nah... Can't something be just annoying without the typical "jealousy" input often seen in these relationship scenarios? Yes, man...having a large number of web douche bags FBing my GF all the time would annoy me. Specially if they knew she was "taken" Didn't they read her relationship status on FB? I mean seriously:laugh::laugh: Someone who is starting to "think less" of their SO and "view them as an attention whore" crosses the line of being just a nuisance. The fact that the OP is starting to basically lose respect for his girlfriend takes this well out of just being annoyed. When it starts to change your perception of someone, then yes...there is a deeper issue. It could be jealousy. It could be that she really is an attention wh*re. But the problem seems like it goes far beyond just annoyance. Otherwise, he would be able to just brush it off as "hey that guy's a DB and annoys me". And people don't care about relationship statuses. I've had girls practically throw themselves (electronically, lol) at my ex despite his relationship status. Similarly, acquaintances and guys I've knownto have crushed on me in the past still pay a little bit too much attentio to my FB page. Is it annoying? Sure. (as the recipient of comments as well) But it's not a legitimate complaint or problem unless the SO is acting on it or favorably reacting to it.
grkBoy Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 This is reason number 3 in my self written, mind book on to "tah hell with relationships, they are too dangerous" lols.... seriously:laugh::laugh: I hear you, but I find it amusing when I see men and women who get into a RL, and when they're away from their SO, they spend their every waking moment in paranoia thinking their BF or GF will cheat on them in a heartbeat. My favorite are when men and women say "Oh I trust him/her, I just don't trust other people." Yeah right...because in my book if one truly trusted that person then one wouldn't worry. I had one guy confess that he wishes his GF didn't have any friends or anyone but him...so he would be the one guiding and calling the shots on everything. Talk about insecure.
Teknoe Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 When my gf posts something on facebook, there are always LEGIONS of guys scrambling to post something on about whatever she wrote. I really dislike social media. It makes me think a little less of her as it makes me view her as kind of an attention whore. Any comments or feelings? Disagree/Agree? Is this the same girl you've been posting and dating over the years? I think it might be mainly your issue, but a healthy thing to do in this case would be to talk to her about it. You'll risk looking weak in the process, but on the upside I think it will ultimately be healthy for you to get it out in the open, and if she is mature enough, she will actually appreciate your concern and willingness to communicate about it. Doesn't mean it will stop the comments from coming (you can't control other guys) but it might strengthen your relationship with your GF, and that's the most important thing. Don't let jealousy and miscommunication seep under the seams. Take care of it together. Communicate.
Feelsgoodman Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 This is how I see it. Posting a status update is like sitting in a room with friends and simply saying something - something that is on your mind in that moment. It's unreasonable to expect no one to comment on or respond to what you say, as it would be unreasonable to expect your friends in the room to remain mute after you've shared something. I believe the OP is referring to obvious attention whoring behavior.
Feelsgoodman Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 I hear you, but I find it amusing when I see men and women who get into a RL, and when they're away from their SO, they spend their every waking moment in paranoia thinking their BF or GF will cheat on them in a heartbeat. While I'm not advocating excessive worrying/paranoia, it is important to recognize that every person - man or woman - will cheat under the right circumstances. That's just human nature. So, to make sure you don't cheat, you have to make sure that you don't put yourself in situations where opportunities to do so easily present themselves. If you don't want a hungry man to steal food, don't put him in a supermarket. Likewise, if you don't want a woman to cheat, don't put her in an environment where she is constantly surrounded with guys who are trying to get in her pants. Personally, I would have a problem if my GF had hundreds of male facebook "friends" who were constantly commenting on her photos, telling her how beautiful she is, etc. Forget cheating for a second...even if she didn't like any of these guys, all of that attention is not good for her psyche. Modern women are spoiled with too much male attention as is...and the so-called "social media" is making it worse. Now every average Suzy and Betty can have her very own male fan club. It's no wonder many of them actually believe that they are "special".
Feelsgoodman Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 If she is hot then that is probably impossible. See I would want to be with that girl who is involved with me....would stomp on the foot of any dood trying to hit her up and make them cry... I'd look over to said dood and say "she's all mine, bitches" And if the said "dood" is bigger and stronger and kicks your ass? What then?
Feelsgoodman Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 I'd challenge him to a hip-hop dance-off. Might be a little hard to do after having the sh*t kicked out of you...just saying.
irc333 Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 When my gf posts something on facebook, there are always LEGIONS of guys scrambling to post something on about whatever she wrote. I really dislike social media. It makes me think a little less of her as it makes me view her as kind of an attention whore. Any comments or feelings? Disagree/Agree? Yeah, I know of this one woman, she likes to wear hot costumes at Sci-FI Conventions, and of course she posts them on her FB. She had this real hot leather, vampiric look, fangs and all, and I made some flirtatious comment about how good she looked in leather. She sent me an email saying to please not do that again, that her boyfriend (1,000 miles away I might add) got jealous. LOL
Jane2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 I don't see why it should be annoying, really. Your girlfriend is a social person, apparently, and so are a lot of people who talk to her. If it were a bunch of girls replying to her, you wouldn't think twice about it. You'd just think people are socializing up a storm. Why is it annoying because it's guys? If it were me, I think I *might* feel insecure about my boyfriend posting a lot on FB and lots of girls replying to him, but I wouldn't blame them for socializing. I would consider that I'm just feeling insecure somehow. To me, males and females are allowed to like each other, socially, a lot...without it being wrong. There are a couple male friends I have who I sort of dote on. But it's just that -- affectionate doting -- I'm not interested in them romantically. But if they had a girlfriend who perceived it that way, I'd be wrongly condemned. Or the guy might be accused of being an "attention whore" because I and maybe other women pay attention to him. Maybe we just like him as a person! Right now there is a male friend I have who is in cooking school who always posts pictures of meals and desserts he's cooked/bake. i always want to "like" his pictures...and just give him big congrats on his great work...but I purposefully don't just because I think it would bother his girlfriend. My point is...it's not flirtation. It's just liking your friends and wanting to give them friendly affection, support, etc. I'm rather tired of overly-possessive folks...
Author Viking Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 Most of the people are acquaintances at best, really. People she has met through cycling for our university, people she has really no other connection to other than "I met you in a class three years ago" sort of thing. I know the close friends who are the close male friends that every girl has. I also know the creeper guys that every girl knows, keeps around for some reason, and they hit on her or say sexual things to her. There is one in particular, luckily he doesn't post on facebook much anymore. My GF and I have had a rough go at it due to her picking up and moving to Taiwan to study. I've made some threads in the Long Distance section. She has 1,224 "friends" (loosely applied term really). When you add over 125 "friends" to your list in less than three months, it really starts to make someone wonder, is she looking for more attention? The reason I posted that about the "attention whore" thing was due to her constant striving to update the world about what is going on ALL THE TIME. AKA-ALL in ONE DAY: "Not for those with weak stomacht-insert youtube video", "Sharing a note from another friend on facebook about the Occupy Portland and Occupy Wall Street garbage", "I miss the snow back home.", "Pizza is now a vegetable according to FOX news", and "Beer runs are good for you article". All that within 19hrs. And, of course, lots of people reply. When we do chat on skype (and not face to face because she's always in the library, just typing chat), she always seems to take a long time to respond, so I figure she's chatting with other people, instead of me, her BF who is trying to take the time to talk to her because I don't get to see her. I'm 10,000 miles away. There ARE bigger issues at hand, I just have always found facebook annoying.
irc333 Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 HM< this kind of ties into my "Must have friends" post Apparently, this is what she means? If the guy she's dating doesn't have friends....OR the same kind of VOLUME of friends that she has....well, he's expecting more attention from her than vice-versa. But that's to be expected in relationships. I don't see why it should be annoying, really. Your girlfriend is a social person, apparently, and so are a lot of people who talk to her. If it were a bunch of girls replying to her, you wouldn't think twice about it. You'd just think people are socializing up a storm. Why is it annoying because it's guys? If it were me, I think I *might* feel insecure about my boyfriend posting a lot on FB and lots of girls replying to him, but I wouldn't blame them for socializing. I would consider that I'm just feeling insecure somehow. To me, males and females are allowed to like each other, socially, a lot...without it being wrong. There are a couple male friends I have who I sort of dote on. But it's just that -- affectionate doting -- I'm not interested in them romantically. But if they had a girlfriend who perceived it that way, I'd be wrongly condemned. Or the guy might be accused of being an "attention whore" because I and maybe other women pay attention to him. Maybe we just like him as a person! Right now there is a male friend I have who is in cooking school who always posts pictures of meals and desserts he's cooked/bake. i always want to "like" his pictures...and just give him big congrats on his great work...but I purposefully don't just because I think it would bother his girlfriend. My point is...it's not flirtation. It's just liking your friends and wanting to give them friendly affection, support, etc. I'm rather tired of overly-possessive folks...
ShannonMI Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 When my gf posts something on facebook, there are always LEGIONS of guys scrambling to post something on about whatever she wrote. I really dislike social media. It makes me think a little less of her as it makes me view her as kind of an attention whore. Any comments or feelings? Disagree/Agree? This is not related to your original post, but you have a girlfriend? I thought you were just on here a couple days ago talking about asking out the dry cleaning girl?? What's up with that?:o
ShannonMI Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Most of the people are acquaintances at best, really. People she has met through cycling for our university, people she has really no other connection to other than "I met you in a class three years ago" sort of thing. I know the close friends who are the close male friends that every girl has. I also know the creeper guys that every girl knows, keeps around for some reason, and they hit on her or say sexual things to her. There is one in particular, luckily he doesn't post on facebook much anymore. My GF and I have had a rough go at it due to her picking up and moving to Taiwan to study. I've made some threads in the Long Distance section. She has 1,224 "friends" (loosely applied term really). When you add over 125 "friends" to your list in less than three months, it really starts to make someone wonder, is she looking for more attention? The reason I posted that about the "attention whore" thing was due to her constant striving to update the world about what is going on ALL THE TIME. AKA-ALL in ONE DAY: "Not for those with weak stomacht-insert youtube video", "Sharing a note from another friend on facebook about the Occupy Portland and Occupy Wall Street garbage", "I miss the snow back home.", "Pizza is now a vegetable according to FOX news", and "Beer runs are good for you article". All that within 19hrs. And, of course, lots of people reply. When we do chat on skype (and not face to face because she's always in the library, just typing chat), she always seems to take a long time to respond, so I figure she's chatting with other people, instead of me, her BF who is trying to take the time to talk to her because I don't get to see her. I'm 10,000 miles away. There ARE bigger issues at hand, I just have always found facebook annoying. Oh ok so your chick is over seas and you are asking other girls out. Why don't you break up with her? Then you wouldn't have to worry about her attention whoring ways on Facebook. She may be an attention whore, but what the hell are YOU doing?? Do her a big favor and break up with her.
mpc2012 Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 When my gf posts something on facebook, there are always LEGIONS of guys scrambling to post something on about whatever she wrote. I really dislike social media. It makes me think a little less of her as it makes me view her as kind of an attention whore. Any comments or feelings? Disagree/Agree? unless she's flirting back, I wouldn't worry at all. Most guys are like that on FB, I have done it myself to girls who have boyfriends, so it's not a big deal unless she's flirting back.
oaks Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 The reason I posted that about the "attention whore" thing was due to her constant striving to update the world about what is going on ALL THE TIME. AKA-ALL in ONE DAY: "Not for those with weak stomacht-insert youtube video", "Sharing a note from another friend on facebook about the Occupy Portland and Occupy Wall Street garbage", "I miss the snow back home.", "Pizza is now a vegetable according to FOX news", and "Beer runs are good for you article". All that within 19hrs. She posts 5 things to Facebook in a day and you're freaking out that she's an "attention whore"? Get a grip.
ShannonMI Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 She posts 5 things to Facebook in a day and you're freaking out that she's an "attention whore"? Get a grip. Yeah and he's also asking other chicks out while he's got a girlfriend overseas. She's an attention whore and he's apparently a man whore.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 I think Facebook has created a lot of attention seeking from both men and women. Everyone is saying "look at me! Look at me! Aren't I funny/cute/sexy/hot/special" And it's strange to me that someone could have x amount of hundreds of friends. Clearly, they aren't "real" friends. I also don't get posting every bain, mundane task you have or are currently doing. Do I care if you just picked up peanut butter and took a crap? I think Facebook is limiting people's interactoins and ability to form true relationships. But that's just me. With that said, I do understand that a lot of people communicate on it and if your girlfriend isn't being salacious in her Facebook pursuit, maybe you should cut her a bit of break. Perhaps she is homesick and this is a way for her to connect with the home she misses?
counterman Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 I agree with Disenchanted. Facebook has allowed men and women to seek more attention, and I would go as far to say that some would place their value on the social network, the more friends I have on Facebook, the better, the more people comment, the better. It's like they feel validated from all this attention, which I think is unhealthy. I have hot girl friends who get comments ALL the time, from 100s of guys, guys trying to get her to notice them. I have never been with a girl who has been very popular so I don't know how I would react, but I can say wouldn't care. If she starts acting out on it and going out with these guys, then clearly that's a problem. If it's just comments and whatnot, then I don't care. However, for me, I wouldn't waste my time on Facebook, it's so easy to get distracted and spend hours on it. I would much prefer in interact in the real world or even talk on the phone. So, I'll say focus on what you have going on other than your girlfriend but also make time for her. I don't know how long you'll be Long distance but if you're committed to giving it a real go then make time for her. If you feel she's not putting in the effort, then talk to her about it and go from there. But I wouldn't focus on the Facebook thing that much. Hot girls will get guys commenting but it's what she does about it that matters, if she's cheating, that's a no-no, if she's flirting and leading other guys on, that's a no-no. What she does with her status updates is what a LOT of people do, it is what it is on Facebook -- people will post whatever on their statuses.
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