z00m25 Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Oh jeez here it goes I need some advice.. Me and my girl have been dating for about 3.5 years and for the most part everythings been good and happy besides one split for about 4 months last december. We got back together in march and everythings been great up until recently. Back in august we got into a very very bad car accident with me her and my friend to the point where we all had life threatening injuries. Everyone ended up fine but she was driving and to keep things simple let's say she now has some legal troubles. She's said her life was perfect until this happened, she lost her job, her car was totaled, still not 100% healed, and all kinds of other issues. This whole thing has happened the complete opposite way I thought it would. I thought it would make us closer. I've tried to be as positive as could be for her and be there for her but she's been distancing herself lately since all this happened. When we were both stuck at home we used to video chat and what not every night but now it feels like I have to reach so far out to get a response. Another thing that's happened is that she's been hanging out with her family alot more and not making time for me. Now I'm fine and dandy with this but before we used to hang out 24/7 everyday so when I figure to be seeing her and it hardly happens anymore other than the weekends. I know that's not healthy seeing each other so much.. Anyway the problems continued this weekend I set up a hotel to have a romantic night. No idea what really happened just know she ended up leaving apparently got to drunk. I havent really drank in a while and I'm guessing it was a mix between wine and this lumiday pill I got from gnc that says not to take with alch all over it. I feel horrible how that ended up everything was so perfect and then I blacked out and can't remember any of the night.. Anyway I'm still feeling bad about it and wanted to make up for it. We saw each other Sunday (the next day) and layed together all day and everything seemed fine. I told her I wanted to do something nice asap to make up for it but she's been shopping with her sister/mom the last three days until we finally hang out yesterday. It was me and her whole family and let's just say things felt so wrong and weird. Granted I've had about 4 hours of sleep all week and am on 5 coffees a day currently so that may be some of it. She called me before we met and was def moody. All in all it was an ok night we didn't fight or anything just other than things not feeling right but then came the talk at home. I can't remember how it started but basically she said that I get mad all the time when she doesn't spend time with me and it's true even tho I denied it. I told her it was just the fact of her not taking the time to make time or barely let me know what her intentions are for the night. She hasn't been a good communicator. And then things got more involved (I'm never going to get any sleep as I work at 5am and this talk started at midnight..) she then said I'm not happy anymore as in myself and that she doesn't feel as close as we used to be. Of coarse were not close you don't make time for me?? I told her that I felt like I was the one making all the effort in everything. She said that since this accident she realized she was only making time for me and 0 time for her family which I get.. That's exactly what was going on but now I feel like were just drifting apart and I Wana do my best to salvage this if I can. She said our relationship isnt 100% currently but she loves me for me and the person she is when were together and that shes not in this to waste her time she wouldnt be in this relationship if she didnt feel it had potential to be alot more. I told her to make sure she wanted to be with me not just because she feels sorry about everything thats happened. We both agreed that we both want things to improve and I felt alot better after we talked however now I know we both are feeling that there's problems which isn't good. Since she's not made as much time for me I've been getting back into running again. Hard as my ankles are both still messed up but I def feel better about myself already. Just all of this is coming at me and I don't know how to handle it. As things are going I'm def feeling to be more needy and insecure. I haven't been sleeping and have always had issues when we don't stay together. I've also been trying to dress nicer and improve my appearance. oh we really havent been having sex anymore since this stupid crash either she said shes not been in the mood. I'm desperate for some advice as to what to do next and how not To be so needy again and rebuild some attraction as I know I've probably lost some. Looking to get some of the power back. Any advice is much appreciated! Thanks in advance, sorry if this was long.
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