bwehrens Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 I am a male currently in a dating relationship, since the summer, with a woman, call her miss A. Before this I had been flirting with a woman I have known for a long time, call her miss b. Miss B gave me a boost when i was having a difficult time in my life by her flirting with me. She initiated flirting with me, on and off. It had been over a year of this going on, then I met my current relationship. Miss B, despite her advances, never took it anywhere, we never slept together. We tried to meet up on several occasions, and she let me down. Now that I have announced my relationship with Miss A to the world, on FB, Miss b, has started inviting me to free concerts, she bought me a coffee, and she actually shows up to meet me. She knows my previous feelings, and I told her I was fed up with her games, before i even met miss A. Its like Miss B now she knows its "safe" to be around me, because I'm in a relationship. Yet, she flirted with me, and played games with my head. She has expressed she finds me a "good looking guy" Yet, I can not rationally understand it, but I still have feelings for miss B, I find her desirable, physically and mentally. but I also like my current relationship. I know that the relationship I'm in is good, and I'm grateful. But I want more. Its like this thirst that doesn't go away. So I was invited to a concert, by miss b, and i went. We didn't sleep together. Yet I wanted to, and she looked at me in such a way, that I read she wanted to. But maybe that in my head, maybe she has friend zoned me.... I'm confused. Its like, this miss A talks to me, its great. Miss B calls me, and its fantastic. Why do I feel like a pig? I know I shouldn't be ashamed of my instinct, but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Yet I cant fight that I want miss b. It frustrates me. And the thing is I know miss B is probably not as good for me, as she is an outsider, and plays games, but I still find it attractive. With Miss A, we instantly slept together, and she is nice to me, she loves me, and I love her. But I'm in this conflict, I don't know what I should do. Should I just stop talking to miss b? Is it worth these games and <removed>. I don't want to throw anybody away. And I'm not an expert on the games women play, I cant figure them out, I'm too straightforward.
classinus Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 I suggest sitting down with a pen and paper and sorting out your feelings about Miss A. If you like her and it works, you should be with her. Your decision to stay with Miss A or find someone else should be independent of Miss B. Miss B is one of those girls who wants a man as soon as she can't have him or wants him simply because he has someone else. Trust me, if you dump Miss A for Miss B you will be very sorry. Most likely once you're not with Miss A anymore, Miss B will no longer be interested in you. Stick to Miss A and forget about Miss B. You're like every man out there, imagining something better when that is not the reality. If Miss B really wanted you - she would have made her move back then. But she didn't did she? Let it go man, stick to Miss A and enjoy your life. Save yourself a lot of trouble.
writergal Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 (edited) It frustrates me. And the thing is I know miss B is probably not as good for me, as she is an outsider, and plays games, but I still find it attractive. With Miss A, we instantly slept together, and she is nice to me, she loves me, and I love her. But I'm in this conflict, I don't know what I should do. Should I just stop talking to miss b? Is it worth these games. Bwehrens: You just described my past relationship scenario. I was the Miss A and my ex-boyfriend worked with Miss B who 1) flirted with him and led him on while he was married so much so that he got divorced, thinking Miss B would make herself available to him and 2) enticed my then boyfriend to date her behind my back while he was sleeping with me. While I was "great," she was "fantastic" because she regularly texted him lovey-dovey messages and even had secret dates with him behind my back which I found out about after he broke up with me. He had said he wanted to marry me while we dated, but as soon as I confronted him about Miss B's inappropriate behavior flirting with him in front of me he dumped me; just like that. So his Miss B finally got her way when he dumped me the day after New Years Eve when I confronted him about her. Then a few months later he moved with Miss B to another city where they continue to work together. But then I ran into him by accident this fall on campus at my graduate school. I have no idea why he was there either. He ignored me as he walked by, but I could tell he recognized me because he looked me directly in the eyes then quickly looked away. He is a cad for that and more. Speaking as the Miss A, if you have any common sense about you, PLEASE be honest with Miss A and end it with her because clearly you want to be with Miss B in your scenario. End it right now with Miss A so she can be with a man who is 100% interested in her, for it would seem you are only 50% interested and still sexually attracted to Miss B whom you already know is just a tease. You are not a pig. You are human. But you will be a pig if you don't do right by Miss A and let her go so she can be with someone who isn't sexually interested in another woman while dating her. It happened to me and I got my heart broken. Don't break your Miss A's heart. Be the bigger person and be honest with her about your feelings for Miss B and end it with Miss A. Edited November 19, 2011 by writergal
Recommended Posts