warrenorabbits Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 So I asked for this girl's phone number and that's what she said -- however, she was more than willing to "meet up and talk." We have a date -- erm, talk -- on Friday. If I end up liking this girl, what can I do to convince her that I'm not going to be like her previous guys?
danstanton Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 By attempting to convince her, you may push her away further. It's probably just best to leave it be. It may be that she has other priorities in her life, and not because she has given up on men for the time being.
Mrlonelyone Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Don't try to convince her of anything. When anyone says they are "taking a break from dating". That only means "I don't want to date you but you will see me on a date with someone about a week after I say this to you." Trust me, it's horse $h1t. Ask yourself do you want to date or do you just want to talk? What do you want out of interacting with her and how can you get it? Have this "talk" with her, behave just as if it were a date. If it's ok with her great. If she's all I don't want to date right now or whatever then walk away. I guarantee that a week or a month latter she will be dating someone else. No man or woman who says what she said every really means that. They never mean that they are 100% closed to having their socks knocked off. If you did that to them they would date you no matter what.
grkBoy Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 I say go on a "chat date" with her. See if you enjoy her company. Keep yourself open to other women. Stop worrying if it all "leads somewhere" and just go with the flow.
FinOuch Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Don't try to convince her of anything. When anyone says they are "taking a break from dating". That only means "I don't want to date you but you will see me on a date with someone about a week after I say this to you." Trust me, it's horse $h1t. Ask yourself do you want to date or do you just want to talk? What do you want out of interacting with her and how can you get it? Have this "talk" with her, behave just as if it were a date. If it's ok with her great. If she's all I don't want to date right now or whatever then walk away. I guarantee that a week or a month latter she will be dating someone else. No man or woman who says what she said every really means that. They never mean that they are 100% closed to having their socks knocked off. If you did that to them they would date you no matter what. Don't listen to this guy... Really. Don't. He obviously has a very bitter perspective, and as a result is incapable of summoning enough empathy to realize that it is hard for a woman to let someone (anyone) in while still hurting from the last go. Just realize that this girl is emotionally unavailable at this particular moment. You can't make her see you or relationships in general in a different light...nor can you do anything in the immediate moment to alleviate her difficulties with trust. She needs to heal and regain that ability on her own. If you want to show her you are a nice guy...then be one. Stick around, giver her time, and be the best friend you can without pushing for anything else. If she likes you, then eventually things will move forward when she's worked through her emotions and is ready. Trust me. It does happen. Case and point - the guy I am now dating started hanging around with me just three months out of my breakup. I wasn't ready. I was still limping along, and was just ultra guarded. Regardless, he stuck around for two and a half months on the friendship level. It wasn't that I didn't like him. It wasn't that I wasn't interested. It was that I had to work through my own crap before I crossed that line with him or anybody. When I felt ready, I moved things forward. Be patient with wounded creatures. They're skittish.
Recommended Posts