kvinna Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 I'm curious. Days? Weeks? Months? Years? It's not letting me create a poll, I guess because I'm new here. How long was the getting-to-know-you process? Is there a certain point after which you'd consider someone a lost cause because they haven't made any moves to be exclusive?
Pierre Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Ideally I would only date someone that is not in multidating mode. So for me the time is zero. I have no interest in pursuing a woman that is seeing other men.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 I do not date people who multidate... My time is very valuable... when I choose to date someone it is because I want to get to know them... and I respect their time too. If they are dating other people, I'm not interested in them. So, I'm the same as Pierre. Zero.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Exactly. I also have no interest in a woman who dates another guy. If they see someone after dating me then it's a 'no go'. It's not a double standard because I also don't want to go out with another woman. I'm not capable of puting 'a little bit' into building a relatioinship. It's all or nothing. It can take weeks or a few months to get somewhere but that's fine with me. Good to hear there are more men who feel this way too...
Eeyore79 Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 I agree with those who said zero! If I date someone, I'm genuinely interested in them and I'm prepared to dedicate a little time to getting to know them. It's not like I'm promising to date them exclusively for the rest of my life - I'm just offering the courtesy of giving them my full attention for as long as we're together, and evaluating them as an individual rather than comparing them to others. I expect them to extend the same courtesy to me. I always liken it to savoring a meal one course at a time, rather than pushing and grabbing at the buffet table and trying to squash everything onto your plate all at once!
oaks Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 I'm curious. Days? Weeks? Months? Years? It's not letting me create a poll, I guess because I'm new here. Depends what you mean by "exclusive" because there seem to be different interpretations. Longest time I've dated multiple people before focussing on just one of them: 3 dates, about 2 weeks. Longest time I've dated someone without asking her to be my girlfriend: about 2 or 3 months (during which time neither of us were seeing anyone else, but no promises or agreements had been made about being exclusive).
mammamia1 Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 I know someone who took years. Personally I think this varies a lot, depends on each person
Author kvinna Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 Sorry guys, I should have said "in a relationship" instead of "exclusive". How long before you were bf/gf? (I guess my lack of experience is showing, hah! ) BTW, I also don't multidate, even though sometimes I feel like I should...like with this guy I'm allegedly seeing who has been blowing cold.
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