lolita jade Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 I may be wrong but I think my separated husband of 25 years is rebounding. I thought for the year (separation time) we were trying to give eachother space after being in a rut. Did coffee, going out, take aways, meals occaissionally, but he did say he wanted space. I kept ringing and being needy, He then told me he found someone else and said it was because I didnt give him space. He told her he had strong feelings for me and he initially was going to tell her he wanted space and try with me again but after a weekend with her that changed. She has 3 chldren and he doesnt like other peoples kids. He now doesnt contact me like I have fallen off the face of the world. He has been seeing her for 4 months and is spending Christmas with her. Cant help feeling it is lust/ rebound as he hasnt felt this feeling for a long time. I have no choice but to carry on with my life and rebuild it. Very early on he has told me how happy he is too. And how he gets on with the kids and they get on with him. although i have got the whole NC thing at last and slowly moving on, do you think he is rebounding? i am curious?
Rorschach64 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 Well to me it seems like it is a rebound, especially if he is telling her that he still has strong feelings for you, though how did you find out that he told her this? Stay strong Jade, you can do this, and remember you still have a bright future, so smile!
Author lolita jade Posted November 17, 2011 Author Posted November 17, 2011 he told me he told her this. this was two months ago when he told me about her. he also told her he doesnt know what his future holds. he even said to me if it doesnt work with her can we try again. ha ha he has changed that now to him being really happy and he said he was only comforting me. I have read that in rebound relationships. people focus on how they feel more than how they feel about the other person and they tell people how happy they are. i will stay strong Rors. Just confused about the whole thing. it will probably get to the point if not already that if he comes back with tail between legs i will tell him to jog on! did you see that baggage reclaim site. its good.
Rorschach64 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 He seems pretty damn selfish at this point instead of confused and doesn't care who he hurts in his process to find what he wants. Yeah this guy needs to be cut loose and even if he did come back tomorrow I wouldn't even suggest taking him back because I would venture to guess that it was just a flight of fancy. I didn't check out that site but I will do so now, meh to the gym back is hurting again
Author lolita jade Posted November 17, 2011 Author Posted November 17, 2011 Yes he is being very selfish. Lost my job of 4 years due to the shock of this and not being able to cope with bullying boss in the state I was in. He hasnt contacted me at all to find out how I am. I have new job as of Monday though. So things looking bright. Why is your back hurting? Sod the gym and chill. Yes our future will be great
Rorschach64 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 Actually recognizing that the person we are pining over clearly has no concern over our well being even on the smallest level makes you think "Why the hell am I sad over a person that couldn't care less if I am even alive or not?" Congratulations on your new job by the way I have no idea as why the pain occurs but it is due to military training and kind of waiting for an approval for an MRI, plus sleeping on my stomach doesn't help much either . I guess a helpful way of thinking about the situation is thinking, what can you do now that you don't have your ex to deal with? I know I can go buy a crap ton of a food and stupid video games without worrying about penny pinching
Author lolita jade Posted November 17, 2011 Author Posted November 17, 2011 Ha! Bet she would nag you for sleeping on your stomach! And-- Bet the food and games wont make you happy! Plus that is keeping you indoors being billy no mates when you need to get out there. Irony........
Rorschach64 Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Well she use to nag at me for drinking energy drinks too much and going to the gym too much. Food, I just love to eat Though last night's triple baconator was a sickening move Though you are right the gaming will lead to isolation but thankfully I have classes next semester to attend and they all include 3 hour labs...oh boy!
Author lolita jade Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 You get down that gym too much Rors!! Might meet a lycra clad hottie
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