micahsmommy12 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 I have started a couple other threads describing my situation. Basically, I had spent the last year in an abusive relationship. He was physically abusing me and we broke up about a month ago. He had a new girl that day. I have spent the last month going through a range of emotion from happy, sad, angry, bitter, relieved, hopeful, and downright depressed. I know I should not care about him, he was abusive, and I was disrespectful as a result, an all around unhealthy relationship. Last week was an angry week for me...and I ended up telling the new girl that he had beat the **** out of me the day we broke up. She didn't care...she thinks I was mistreating him. I quickly became the butt of their jokes. In fact, I'm pretty sure they became "official" the day I told her he had beat the **** out of me. She maintains she's "not there to judge him", oh, and he told me (rather cruelly) he had been seeing her for 2 months before we broke up, and had been cheating with others as well. Today I found out they live together. I am crushed. Why? Why do I care? He was horrible towards the end. I know part of the reason he must be living with her is he doesn't have a job and no steady place to live, even more reason I should not give a ****, But I totally do. I care, I care he is with her, I care his (dysfunctional) family has opened their arms to her. I care. I care so much I have pretty much been the "psycho ex" since I found out. And my son, my poor baby. He still does not understand where his best friend went, and when is he coming back. He never witnessed the abuse, He is barely 3, He loved this man, and this man told me he loved him like his own son. In fact up until a week ago, he was asking me if he could maintain a relationship with him. That was met with a resounding HELL NO! But it still infuriates me that he is now in this womans home playing step-dad to her daughters. Ugh! And on top of all that, apparently she has some serious health issues, I think cervical cancer. What the hell is she doing? It's just ....sick. It's sick that I care. But I find myself crying for an hour, and then spending the next one telling myself he's just using her and it cannot last. But what if it does? I'm not happy.
ChelseaLS Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 I have started a couple other threads describing my situation. Basically, I had spent the last year in an abusive relationship. He was physically abusing me and we broke up about a month ago. He had a new girl that day. I have spent the last month going through a range of emotion from happy, sad, angry, bitter, relieved, hopeful, and downright depressed. I know I should not care about him, he was abusive, and I was disrespectful as a result, an all around unhealthy relationship. Last week was an angry week for me...and I ended up telling the new girl that he had beat the **** out of me the day we broke up. She didn't care...she thinks I was mistreating him. I quickly became the butt of their jokes. In fact, I'm pretty sure they became "official" the day I told her he had beat the **** out of me. She maintains she's "not there to judge him", oh, and he told me (rather cruelly) he had been seeing her for 2 months before we broke up, and had been cheating with others as well. Today I found out they live together. I am crushed. Why? Why do I care? He was horrible towards the end. I know part of the reason he must be living with her is he doesn't have a job and no steady place to live, even more reason I should not give a ****, But I totally do. I care, I care he is with her, I care his (dysfunctional) family has opened their arms to her. I care. I care so much I have pretty much been the "psycho ex" since I found out. And my son, my poor baby. He still does not understand where his best friend went, and when is he coming back. He never witnessed the abuse, He is barely 3, He loved this man, and this man told me he loved him like his own son. In fact up until a week ago, he was asking me if he could maintain a relationship with him. That was met with a resounding HELL NO! But it still infuriates me that he is now in this womans home playing step-dad to her daughters. Ugh! And on top of all that, apparently she has some serious health issues, I think cervical cancer. What the hell is she doing? It's just ....sick. It's sick that I care. But I find myself crying for an hour, and then spending the next one telling myself he's just using her and it cannot last. But what if it does? I'm not happy. I know nothing I say will make it better and I don't understand understand loving an abusive person, but I have watched and am still watching my friend deal with same sort of thing for the last 7 months. Try to focus on the bad times of the relationship if that will help you. Try to remember how horribe he was when he was horrible and how lucky you are to be out of there now. Now it's not your problem, it's this niave, new girl's problem. Remember how it's better to be out of there for your safety and your son's. Remember what he said to you... that he was with her and others before you guys broke up.. talk about a lack of respect. I know you have heard it a million times over, but, you do deserve better. And be thankful you got out when you did and not years down the road.
Recommended Posts