ChelseaLS Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 Day 41 since BU. I woke up feeling blah. Not horrible, not great. I was feeling like I wanted to contact my ex so bad, reach out to him, tell him I love him... yadda yadda yadda. I didn't of course. Now at work, haven't said boo to him or looked at him.. just keep smiling and ignoring him lol. I was away from my desk running around working with a broker. Anyways I get back to my desk and the receptionist says "Hey did you talk to B? He was looking for you". Oh great... now what. So I go to his office and say "You were looking for me?" He proceeds to ask me if I needed any dresses?... because there is a store that is having a 50% off 3 hour sale and I could go get some and use his card. WTF? Why? I said no I was fine, but thanks for the offer. I still have some stuff at his place that I haven't moved yet as I need to find somewhere to store it... Anyways he asks if I could come get it, as he has some arcade games being delivered (I giggled because he is 34 and still hardcore video gamer... but I guess I still play video games too). I said yeah just need to find a place to store things, he said he would pay for a storage unit for me?... Okay then. I declined and said I would find somewhere. Then he told me I could come over whenever I wanted to play video games... I said no you know why I can't do that. He says "Oh come on". Then I walked out lol. My god. He keeps coming to talk to me about stupid things and offering to pay for some things and saying I can come over whenever. It's a bit frustrating. I keep declining. On a good note... I look fantastic! lol. Lost a bunch of weight, been going to the gym, new hair cut, etc. Been getting lots of nice compliments.
micahsmommy12 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 That would be frustrating for me as well, I really commend you. It takes a certain type of person to be able to maintain a friendly work enviroment with an ex. I, personally, would be forced to find a new job! And congratulations on the feeling fantastic! I was given a great piece of advice lately: "All you can do is let it go, get it together, and get really skinny!" May not be psychotherapy, but it sounds like the best advice I have ever heard! Good for you that you are implementing it!
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 17, 2011 Author Posted November 17, 2011 That would be frustrating for me as well, I really commend you. It takes a certain type of person to be able to maintain a friendly work enviroment with an ex. I, personally, would be forced to find a new job! And congratulations on the feeling fantastic! I was given a great piece of advice lately: "All you can do is let it go, get it together, and get really skinny!" May not be psychotherapy, but it sounds like the best advice I have ever heard! Good for you that you are implementing it! It's a peculiar situation. We ended on good terms. I think he is confused, but I know I have to move forward without really hoping. So that is what I am trying to do, and look good while doing it . As for working together, this job is a great opprotunity and I would be dumb to let my ex make me leave. Plus my ex gets a front row view of how awesome I am doing haha. The offers of money and hanging out just weird me out is all. I just decline politely.
Rorschach64 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 Good work Chelsea, I honestly think with his offers of being nice is that he is probably feeling guilty or starting to miss you, though I hope I don't give you false hope. I only say this because shortly after I was broken up with my ex-f I was trying to be very supportive of her still by telling her she can hang on to my dog tags since they were special and meant for her and she can borrow my laptop a bit longer. Basically trying to show I am not a horrible person like she convienced herself of me being....other than that I don't know what his deal is. Keep on rocking and hit the gym!
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 17, 2011 Author Posted November 17, 2011 Good work Chelsea, I honestly think with his offers of being nice is that he is probably feeling guilty or starting to miss you, though I hope I don't give you false hope. I only say this because shortly after I was broken up with my ex-f I was trying to be very supportive of her still by telling her she can hang on to my dog tags since they were special and meant for her and she can borrow my laptop a bit longer. Basically trying to show I am not a horrible person like she convienced herself of me being....other than that I don't know what his deal is. Keep on rocking and hit the gym! It's just really weird to me is all. I don't think he is a horrible person and he knows that I don't think that. I do ignore him to the enth dergree, but every day he stops by my office with something else un-necessary to say.. like yesterday he stopped by to ask me what size of sweaters I used to buy him... meanwhile he was wearing one of the sweaters... wouldn't you just look at the tag? Weird going on's. Oh well. I am just going to keep what I am doing. As we all know from my other posts this is a "break" for us, but I am treating it like a break up.
Berlington Bob Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 Keep it up Chelsea, sounds like he's starting to miss all the good times and forget all the bad times but doesn't sound like he's figured himself out yet. Don't let him send you out to look for salt just to get eaten by a lion/tiger thing all over again... Keep it up and keep taking care of yourself. Working out and focusing on my studies are what have kept me going NC this far. It really helps to know that they are thinking about how good you are looking now. (and he is).
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 17, 2011 Author Posted November 17, 2011 Keep it up Chelsea, sounds like he's starting to miss all the good times and forget all the bad times but doesn't sound like he's figured himself out yet. Don't let him send you out to look for salt just to get eaten by a lion/tiger thing all over again... Keep it up and keep taking care of yourself. Working out and focusing on my studies are what have kept me going NC this far. It really helps to know that they are thinking about how good you are looking now. (and he is). We didn't honestly have many bad times. I don't know if we will reconnect or not... I am not holding out for that. I do think though IF it were to happen he will take the full 6 month "break" in order to save face type of thing. But I am working on, moving on. If we do reconcile it will be a nice surprise, if not, not harm I will be on my way, anyways.
Rorschach64 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 Hmm can we wager bets that he won't make the 6 months to save face? I know if I was missing my gf to a big enough point I'd say screw my pride and run back to her....but that's just me. You'll be okay Chelsea, I got a good feeling plus guys are such saps sometimes
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 17, 2011 Author Posted November 17, 2011 Hmm can we wager bets that he won't make the 6 months to save face? I know if I was missing my gf to a big enough point I'd say screw my pride and run back to her....but that's just me. You'll be okay Chelsea, I got a good feeling plus guys are such saps sometimes Well I would hope that he wouldn't try save face, but oh well. Whatever happens happens. I am not worried about me being okay. I am okay now and I know that can only get better with time. I just like to vent my confusions and his silliness lol. Thanks for all the encouraging words
stunned8165 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 I don't know how the hell you do it. Working in the same place. I feel for ya.. Go read my thread I just added to about running into her again today.. Tell me what you think..
immitable Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 Hey Chelsea you sound like you are succesfully moving on.
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 17, 2011 Author Posted November 17, 2011 Like I said stunned, it wasn't a messy break up, there was no cheating, abuse, deception etc.. so working together isn't all that horrible. I don't see him all that often... other then when he makes these points to come talk to me about weird not important things.
smokey bear Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Hi, Have you tried doing a little research on body language, and seeing if you can guage anything from it? xx
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 His body language? He smacked my bum the other day probably due to habit lol.
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 So I had to stop by the ex's to pick up my mail today. He was on the phone when I got there I grabbed my stuff and waved by to leave. He gave me the one minute look and so I waited until he got off the phone... he proceeded to asked me if I wanted to hang around and play buck hunter (best game ever... he bought the big arcade machine), and I said "B the only way I want to be here is if we are together".. I didn't mean to sound rude... he mumbled something like "okay" then he came over and gave me a hug... I didn't look sad or anything so it was an unwarranted hug. Then I went to say good bye and he just kept talking and asking me questions about my new place. I gave him quick answers and he offered to give me his 60inch TV. Then I took off and came home. Oh the fun of these silly breakups.
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