Anyone have experience practicing NC while you are living with your wife...

[trappedinnc]

When I was younger NC worked to save several relationships. Now that i am older, things are a bit more complicated. As i mentioned in a previous post, I have been married for 15 years and have two daughters (8 & 2). My wife had (is having) an affair and i've been (I am) devasted. I would like to just get an apartment and walkout. However, once you are married with kids and have established a home things become more complicated. At the advice of my lawyer i am staying in the home until we work out an SA. This makes since from a legal perspective but it is killing any chances my wife and I have of repairing things. I am on an emotional roller-coaster and it is not good for her to see me like this. Sometimes I am happy (hey I have get-out-jail-free card ), sad, pissed off, confrontational, and loveable all in one day. Unfortunately i'm not very good at hiding my emotions. The longer this drags on the more respect she looses for me (I think she hates me already). I confronted her in August and I expect it will be end of January before I can get out of house.

[jaymz]

I had to do the same thing earlier this year, it was very difficult time for me until she left the home a few months later. I used the 180 and LC as much as possible.

[carhill]

Thanks for clarifying....NC meaning 'no contact'. I was hoping it meant 'North Carolina'

 

With children, LS-style NC is impossible regardless of circumstances. You will never be completely NC as long as your present or former wife, your children and their families are alive.

 

There are a lot of anecdotes here on LS about H's doing the 180 and doing LC with the mother of their children. Search them out.

 

The key in any circumstance is confining communication to the subject at hand, whether that be divorce, children, 'stuff', whatever. Keep it like a business transaction. Always have a Plan B.

[Owl]

Trapped...what is YOUR goal for all of this?

 

Reconciliation? Divorce?

 

Which outcome do YOU want to happen out of all of this, if you have the choice?

 

That's the first step...deciding what your goal is.

 

After that...it's developing a plan for obtaining said goal. Depending on what outcome you're after, there are tons of good sites out there that have excellent resources for you to develop a plan to reach your goal.

[dub 1]

Hi

 

I can understand your situation,I did not have kids with my xbpd/npdw thank god.But I could not get her to leave our house.I had to go legal,I endured her rantings & rages her threats.I thought long & hard about my life with her & all her abusive behaviour.I can tell you it was not easy to make my decision .

 

I lived in same house for nearly two years with her nc.She would do almost anything to tempt me back.It was so hard & seeing her made my heart break.It came down to money in the end & how much she could get.

 

Keep positive & keep writing om LS.

 

My story may help u http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t294590/