Miz Krystal Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 My 14 year old daughter wants to marry her 21 year old boyfriend. I know she is young but she is very mature for her age and they are a real couple. They live together with me and sleep in the same bed. Her boyfriend has a job and buys things for her. Me and my daughter have a good relationship and I am involved in her life. My daughter is responsible and has been sexually active for nearly two years, she don't get pregnant. Will they make an exception for my daughter to get married if I provide parental consent and tell them how mature she is? Thank you for your advice.
mark982 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 something seriously wrong here if this isn't a troll...unless poster is from west virginia or kentucky.
bentnotbroken Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 :sick::sick:On every level that I can think of. CPS should be involved with this. It is against the law for a 21 year old to be sleeping with a 14 year old even if the parent deems it okay. :sick:
Els Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 Actually, I think it was a 19-y-o with a 12-y-o, since OP stated that the daughter had been sexually active for 2 years. This thread bugs the hell outta me, so I'll just assume it's a troll and be on my way.
Lucky_One Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 Kick them out. If they are old enough and responsible enough to be married and have sex, then they are old enough and responsible enough to be married and have sex and pay their own bills and provide their own housing and cook their own meals and wash their own clothes. That's what responsiblity is. And hey, as a responsible mom yourself, you owe it to your child to make sure that she has the responsibilities of a married adult. Right? (OMG please be a troll. Or someone local please report you to CPS )
somedude81 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 LOL, this thread is terrible. Started off with a 19 year old dude and a 12 year old girl.
carhill Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 Welcome to LS 'Can' and 'should' are separate issues. 'Can' varies by jurisdiction. This resource can help provide some guidance in that regard. 'Should' they get married? YMMV but my general life experience has been that humans are too young at age 14 to have a healthy marriage. An option might be to have a mutli-year 'engagement', like Elvis Presley did with his eventual wife Priscilla, whom he met when she was 14. Depending on where you live, the BF may be technically guilty of statutory rape if they're having sexual relations and, if occurring in your home with your awareness, you could be an accessory. I mention this because you said they live together with 'me', so I'm assuming her father is not cohabiting. He might have a different opinion, if alive and aware, so keep that in mind. Good luck
frozensprouts Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 the idea is disgusting. if this is real ( and i hope that it's not and that it's just someone who watched an episode of jerry springer and got a little bit too much amusement from it so you decided to recreate it here) the you need to get your head out of your rear and start acting like a MOM. Kick this knob right out the door, contact the police and let them know that your daughter has been molested by a pedophile ( she was 12 and he was 19 ...grosse, just plain grosse) and then cart you and your daughters behinds on down to your nearest psychiatrist... she'll need help because she was molested and you need help because you even enteratined this moronic idea in the first place. ( BTW, if it was one of MY daughters who came home and told me she'd been sleeping with a guy 7 years older than her and wanted to marry him, i'd be kicking his rear up and down the street while wearing my husbands combat boots...grosse, just grosse, the whole idea is both disgusting and disturbing)
KathyM Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 I think the child has to be at least 16 before they can get married, and they have to have parental consent if the child is under 18. And I would suggest you get the bf out of your house. He shouldn't be living there. You need to do what is in the best interests of your daughter, and her living with a bf is not in her best interests. Until she is 18 and old enough to decide for herself and is out of the house, it is up to you to make these decisions for her as the adult. Living with a bf at her age is not in her best interests.
ShatteredReality Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 So let me get this straight...your 12yo daughter was mature enough to choose to have sex - even though she wasn't finished with puberty yet, and now she's old enough to choose to get married, even though she's not even finished with high school yet....And you're trying to claim you're ok with all of this because of how mature she is? Let's say nothing of the fact that you're obviously in favor of child molestation as well as harboring a criminal under your roof...I suppose if you're from a country where they sell their daughters to sick minded older men then you're set and all is well. Otherwise I am with everyone else here - I'm calling troll.
carhill Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 In the resource I linked to, a number of US states allow marriages where a minor is under age 16 but said marriage may be required to include a court order/signing of license by judge, in addition/instead of parental consent, validating the process for that minor or minors.
Mr. Omega Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 When my daughter is 12-14, if some 19 or 21 year old guy ever tries to have sex with her I'll put him in the ground, not let him marry her.
carhill Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 It just occurred to me that perhaps, rather than a troll, the 14 year old wrote the OP from her mother's 'voice'. Regardless, I'd like to know where her father is.
Citizen Erased Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Even if this is a troll, what the hell is wrong with people?
Mr. Omega Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Does this mean you would give a 19 or 21 year old lesbian a pass? No. It means I was talking about the actual situation in the first post. Ok?
Author Miz Krystal Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 Thanks for your replies everyone. I am offended by some of the replies here. I think you are all being very hurtful and judgemental. It is against the law for a 21 year old to be sleeping with a 14 year old even if the parent deems it okay. :sick: Why is it against the law? 14 is two years away from 16, the age of consent in most states. What's so magic about the numbers 16/18? Don't you think its ridiculous to assume everyone over a certain age is ready for sex, and everyone before a certain age is an asexual child? I think it was a 19-y-o with a 12-y-o, since OP stated that the daughter had been sexually active for 2 years. Thats incorrect, she was sexually active with a different boy. That's what responsiblity is. And hey, as a responsible mom yourself, you owe it to your child to make sure that she has the responsibilities of a married adult. Right? My daughter is very responisble, she contributes to the family financially by working and helps raise her younger siblings. humans are too young at age 14 to have a healthy marriage. Really? Then why is marriage legal at 14 in some states? And are 'adults' any less likely to get divorced than teenagers? If irresponsible adults can get married and divorced multiple times why cant my daughter? Kick this knob right out the door, contact the police and let them know that your daughter has been molested by a pedophile ... and then cart you and your daughters behinds on down to your nearest psychiatrist... she'll need help because she was molested and you need help because you even enteratined this moronic idea in the first place. A pedophile rapes toddlers and babies, my daughter is an attractive young woman. Are you aware that a 14 year old can have sex legally in Austria, Germany, Italy, Portugal and Spain? Clearly those countries don't think my daughter will need a psychiatrist, why would it be legal there if it was harmful? When my daughter is 12-14, if some 19 or 21 year old guy ever tries to have sex with her I'll put him in the ground, not let him marry her. Your a very hateful, violent person. Love is not restricted by age.
anne1707 Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 I am guessing that the OP is in fact the 14 year old daughter.
Author Miz Krystal Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 He'll get her knocked up, he'll leave and you'll be carting around your grand baby on your trips to the laundromat while your daughter is working the truck stop as a part time lot lizard. I told you my girl is responsible, she used contraception for 2 years. She aint no fool. You're raising a monster that will prolly end up dead on crack in the cab of some trucker's truck. HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME It's time to take responsibility and become a mom.... if you need help with it..get it. hOW DAre you. I am a mom and I do an awesome job, better than you! You want some banjo with that hillbilly? You pig. Your all pigs.
Author Miz Krystal Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 Yepp, troll. Unfortunately this actually does go on in the world....even worse. Oh sure, everyone with a different opinion to you is a troll! Of course no one could have a different opinion to you! That would be crazy, your infallible!
findingnemo Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Wow!! This can't possibly be happening.
frozensprouts Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 I told you my girl is responsible, she used contraception for 2 years. She aint no fool. HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME hOW DAre you. I am a mom and I do an awesome job, better than you! You pig. Your all pigs. well, this thread seems to have crossed from the grotesque to the bizare! IF you are a real person, ( and i highly suspect that if you are, you are the 14 year old and not the mom) the you need to get some help. Why not look further in to the divorce rates for children who get married at 14? What do you glean from that? At 14, you are not considered old and responsible enough to drive, vote, join the military, drink alcohol, sign a legal contract ( except, as far as I know, the contract to relinquish a child for adoption) drop out of school, etc. So what on earth gives you the idea that a 14 year old is respinsible enough to get married? no one is being a "pig" or "hateful", they are assuming you are just making this up, but on the off chance they are not, they are trying to keep you from ruining your life. The very fact that they would not entertain the idea of their 14 year old getting married but you think it's okay says volumes about both them and yourself as well. If you are the mom, use your GD head here...don't you want your child to have a better life than you? Do you think that getting married at 14 is a good way to make that happen? ( and i agree that if you are the mom, then CPS should be called...you are allowing your 14 year old to be "raped" ( statuatory rape or whatver the legal term is for it) under your own roof. YUCK!
carhill Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Texas and South Carolina are probably the best bests for a 14yo, since a judge's signature and/or court order is not required, rather simple parental (that's both parents) notarized approval is required. Quote: Originally Posted by carhill humans are too young at age 14 to have a healthy marriage. Really? Then why is marriage legal at 14 in some states? And are 'adults' any less likely to get divorced than teenagers? If irresponsible adults can get married and divorced multiple times why cant my daughter? She can, with your and her father's approval and/or a court order/judge's signature in some states. I personally wouldn't recommend it, but 'can' is possible. Anyone who reads this site daily, with stories from people anywhere from teenagers to senior citizens, can see the potential positives and negatives. Hope it works out.
whichwayisup Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 If you want to know if your daughter, barely a teen at 14 years old can get married, call your local police station or a lawyer.
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