Can't seem to work her out, or what she wants. .

[ThroneH]

I've recently been talking to my highly introverted ex-girlfriend after very little talk for 3 months. After we broke up 9 months ago, she said still always wanted to be friends. But we went out of contact for a while. We had a good relationship, and in fact at one stage she said she "couldn't ever see herself being with someone else". Anyways I'll get to the point:

 

We've been getting along so well lately, better than ever. We've been talking about very personal things such as who we've been with since we split, sex, etc. She had casual sex for about 4 months with a guy she used to have a "thing" with, but she apparently completely hates his guts now, and he treats her like crap. That's when she seemed to kick in with talking to me again. She's always asking me which girls I've gotten with since our breakup, what their names are, etc. Jealousy perhaps?

 

I started hinting towards that perhaps we could start sleeping with each other again, and she said it "depends", because sleeping with an ex isn't the smartest idea, because there is still emotion involved. We continued to talk heaps, and she even sent me a new photo of herself because she knows how gorgeous I think she is (she doesn't consider herself to be "pretty").

 

She sent me a text the other day about her usual stuff like college, stress, etc. Then mentioned that her parents might be going away the following week, and if they do, i'll "have" to come over. She said "It will be just like old times :P". I know what this will lead to - me spending the night over at hers and sleeping with her. I felt great after that text. But does she just want to use me for sex, or does she actually like me again. She's definitely not the type of girl to just use a guy for sex. She's not like that. But she may have changed, I don't know.

 

We continued to talk alot, about very personal stuff etc. She said one night that she was bored, and wished we had organised to catch up that night. I continued to tell her that she's gorgeous in my eyes, and she always seems flattered but states that I "need to get my eyesight tested" haha. She's very self conscious and lacks self esteem sometimes. Then the next few days I barely heard from her, I sent her texts, gave her a call to wish her luck on her exams etc. But I've hardly heard from her. Her responses are always short and brief, which is completely different to how she talked to me not long before that.

 

I asked her if she was looking foward to catching up and she said "maybe", because she has some things she needs to do that week. She seems a bit distant now. What does this mean? Could she be developing feelings for me again, and is afraid of it? Or does she want me to lay off because she thinks I like her, and I will only get upset if I feel that I am lead on, only to find disappointment?

 

Thanks heaps.

Edited November 17, 2011 by ThroneH

[phineas]

How about you ask her what she wants with you?

 

Women that want to be with me LOVE that question.

 

Women who just want to lead me on HATE it for obvious reasons.

 

It sounds like she has you chasing her & that is not the place anyone should be.

 

If a woman doesn't want to be with me as much as I want to be with her then what's the point?

[loveburden]

it sounds like she is confused about her feelings. its obvious that she stull has feelings for you but is afraid to put them into motion. i don't know the details of your breakup but trying backing off a bit and let her come to you. hounding her will only push her away further. you have nothing to loose by not contacting her because if she truly wants you in her life she will not let you go. just take a step back, she will talk to you again, just give her time to sort her own feelings out

[ThroneH]

Thanks guys, much appreciated. However I need more responses, because for some reason I just can't believe that she still DEFINITELY has feelings for me. Is it obvious?