Awarth Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 Okie, so i have posted my situation on LS before, but let me just give a summary.. so basically, my ex left me 2 months ago for another guy..we have been together for 5 yrs..anyway, so lately she has been calling me again..after i go NC on her..so at first, she just says that she is sorry and i dont deserve this treatment and saying i am a great guy blah blah blah...i play it cool and manage not to say anything much.. recently she has been calling me again..on Monday, she called me lyk twice, once in morning and another at night..told me that she had been dreaming of me every night and says she really misses me..that she really feels comfortable talking to me..and she called me "darling" a couple of times..and in the end, she ask me out for a movie..gosh..what is she implying here? just mind games? or did she want to come back? or something else? pls help...
Rorschach64 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 You want her back? I assume that is a yes. Does she know this? To be honest, you need to upfront about this instead of playing what if's or why's, ask her what is her intentions and you don't want to be friends, you want a relationship....nothing short of that, at least with confronting her you answer your questions.
ken_25 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 I went back and read your background. She probably regrets things, has some guilt and was possibly used and/or rejected by another. Let her go man. This girl is having issues that will ruin your relationship if you took her back. She needs to figure herself out and grow up. When she finds another guy that she feels is better it's likely she will leave you again anyway. It's your first love.. this is incredibly hard, I know. But you should let this one go. Maybe one day there can be something between you two again, but it will take YEARS before that is possible. For now, heal and move on. I suggest telling her you're sorry but you cannot meet up, that you need to heal and want to move forward with your life. That you need space and do not want to remain in contact. Give her your own way of saying goodbye and be done with it.
Berlington Bob Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 I would say the fact that you are asking what we think her intentions are says a lot about what your subconcious is trying to tell you. It's tough for me to say this because I'm pretty much still holding on to hope at some level that mine will call me and say that stuff. But at the same time were both in the same boat that we will be plan B... and I dont like the sound of that. But if she got a case of the G.I.G.S. and left you like mine did, its a good bet it WILL happen again and you have to start your pain and the healing process all over... not to mention looking like a tool to all your family and friends who have helped you get this far. I say this all because its what's going through my head as mine too is starting to try and break NC.
M2155 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 She is probably lonely and couldn't recapture what she had with the new guy. But she hasn't changed from whatever went wrong between the two of you in the first place and it won't be the same if she comes back. Like the last poster said though, you are unsure so it's perfectly your call to not do anything at all. When a person really loves you, they will not rush you. It's probably best to stay NC since it's helped you get this far. Your gut is damn near always right, we usually ignore it, but it comes back to bite us;).
TheDovic Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 If I'd a penny for every time my ex has started texting or phoning and asked to do things... I'd have a lot of pennys lol. But does she want me back??? No!!! Don't get your hopes up buddy, she might miss you, but this doesn't mean she misses you enough to want you back!
ChelseaLS Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 I'd straight up ask her, her intentions. At this point what do you have to loose? I'd tell her what you want and expect and ask her if your on the same page. If not, move along.
ken_25 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 You could ask her whatever you'd like, it doesn't mean her answers are true, and most likely, she'll probably tell you what you want to hear to get back in good graces. In my opinion it would be smart to avoid all that crap. But hey, it's your life, do what you want to do. We'll be around if you need more support.
Rorschach64 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 Yeah there is always what Ken said....especially if you got broken up with someone that used gas lighting and/or the ole cognitive dessonance/guilt projecting crap. They will say or do anything to make themselves look good and/or feel like the good guy. I say....NC her for a week? See where that gets you? I am not too sure on this because it might increase her contact or she will run away, but that will show you that she is just looking for a boost.
olivec Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 I went back and read your background. She probably regrets things, has some guilt and was possibly used and/or rejected by another. Let her go man. This girl is having issues that will ruin your relationship if you took her back. She needs to figure herself out and grow up. When she finds another guy that she feels is better it's likely she will leave you again anyway. It's your first love.. this is incredibly hard, I know. But you should let this one go. Maybe one day there can be something between you two again, but it will take YEARS before that is possible. For now, heal and move on. I suggest telling her you're sorry but you cannot meet up, that you need to heal and want to move forward with your life. That you need space and do not want to remain in contact. Give her your own way of saying goodbye and be done with it. I completely agree. My ex gf recently tried the samething saying hows she was sad we dont talk and asking if I was ok. It was obvious to me she was dumped recently and still feeling guilty about what she did to me. I calmly told her I've moved on with my life and I was at peaqce with all the crap she put me through in the past. The op needs to understand its the g.i.s.s and stay away from this person. He'll get hurt again if he doesn't stick to nc.
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