sarcrb Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 (edited) My boyfriend and I have been together for about 7 months now. He's almost the perfect boyfriend; he's very affectionate, respectful, spends practically all his free time with me, always considers me in his plans, are few among other traits. For the most part, things are good when we are together. However, he hasn't told me he loves me yet (when i brought it up he said he thought i was rushing it) and isn't very expressive about his feelings in general, even though i know he was more verbally expressive in the past. He has told me he really likes me a few times but he hasn't said it in a couple of months. I also feel like he doesnt open up to me as much as in the beginning. He is also more willing to make plans within the next couple of months but any further, he'll just say yes but not give as much input or have as much emotion towards it. I'm confused because to others, it looks like we're so in love since we're so affectionate towards eachother and even look at eachother adoringly at times but when I talked to him about it, he said he doesn't feel it yet, although he said he thinks he could one day. I'm in my early 30's (he's the same age) and I don't want to waste my time with someone who will never feel it and I for sure dont want to get hurt if it turns out he's just biding time. Any advice? Edited November 16, 2011 by sarcrb
LSgirl Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 I was in the same position as you a few months ago. Me and my bf have been together for 10 months and he still hasn't said those words. You'll find that some people here will say that actions are more important than words, others will say you need both. Everybody has their own course in how they deal with love. He may love you but not tell you. My bf was with his ex-fiancee for 8 years and she cheated on him, he's definitely in no rush to say it to someone else. I'm patient, but I know it's a lot to deal with. We actually just got back together last night. We were broken up for over 3 weeks because the idea of love scared him away when I told him I loved him. But to love someone doesn't mean you expect it back. It's up to you if you want to stay in this relationship, but if he's the awesome guy (like mine) when you guys are together, then I say keep at it. 7 months is nothing. Some people even take years. Maybe he has a past and has been hurt before. The only advice I can give to you is don't do what I did, don't pressure him or it will push him away. He will say it on his own when he is ready, and that may not come for a long time. Please keep us updated!
patagonia Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 I was in the same position as you a few months ago. Me and my bf have been together for 10 months and he still hasn't said those words. You'll find that some people here will say that actions are more important than words, others will say you need both. Everybody has their own course in how they deal with love. He may love you but not tell you. My bf was with his ex-fiancee for 8 years and she cheated on him, he's definitely in no rush to say it to someone else. I'm patient, but I know it's a lot to deal with. We actually just got back together last night. We were broken up for over 3 weeks because the idea of love scared him away when I told him I loved him. But to love someone doesn't mean you expect it back. It's up to you if you want to stay in this relationship, but if he's the awesome guy (like mine) when you guys are together, then I say keep at it. 7 months is nothing. Some people even take years. Maybe he has a past and has been hurt before. The only advice I can give to you is don't do what I did, don't pressure him or it will push him away. He will say it on his own when he is ready, and that may not come for a long time. Please keep us updated! That's some really good info LSgirl. Another thing to keep in mind is that age has nothing to do with this. Everyone deals with these emotions on such a different level, person to person, age to age. It really doesn't make a difference and like you also said, past experiences make up a big part of who we are right now. LSgirl--what did you do to pressure him?? I'd like to know what you mean by that. What did you do during those 3 weeks apart?? sarcrb- keep your head up. I've been in a 3 month relationship and the past month has felt like an eternity. I've got no idea what's going on but stay there and wait for him, that's what I'm doing for this woman. Anything worth having is worth fighting for and waiting for.
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