Shattered dreams Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Is it really easy for you to forget? After a very long term relationship
Rorschach64 Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Even girls I spent very little time with, few months, I still remember them even though I ended it.
mike588 Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Is it really easy for you to forget? After a very long term relationship I don't forget. I'll never forget my recent g/f of just one year together even though she screwed me over I still have feelings for her.I'm not in love with her anymore but I do care about her.
ChelseaLS Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 I don't forget. I'll never forget my recent g/f of just one year together even though she screwed me over I still have feelings for her.I'm not in love with her anymore but I do care about her. I think that just because someone acts like they don't care, you're stil on their mind, they are just trying to deal with the split.
Mcnulty Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 No way. I'm still cut up about her bigstyle and she left me for my mate without even telling me!
Feelin Frisky Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 No, it's not easy and it can be horrible depending upon the circumstances. It can feel like you've had a bad and unplanned rebirth and you're trying to get on with your life dragging an invisible placenta that you sometimes step on. It takes a long time sometimes to tear off that bag and free yourself--but if it was good and there was great high hope, there is still a hole.
mike588 Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 I think that just because someone acts like they don't care, you're stil on their mind, they are just trying to deal with the split. I've often wondered if she still cares and if I'm on her mind,,, I think we all do.
Rorschach64 Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 To delve in to what Chelsea said a bit....yeah they might still care but it will always varies. Based on their actions from the break up till now you can judge using your own values, intelligence and other fancy stuff how much they probably care about you. Ex's before this most recent one, probably want to rate it as a 2/10 on the care level? Then again they didn't mean really too much compared to this last one.
flitzanu Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 "care" is subjective. do i care if my ex gets stabbed? yes. do i care if she gets hit by a bus? yes. do i care if she's physically harmed? yes. those are bad things, and on the basest human emotion, i should care she's harm free. do i care if she's happy? do i care if she's successful? no. would i care if she called me crying a year later that some douchebag she ran off with turned out to be a jerk? nah. because i already knew that would happen. would i care if she called me crying a year later because some douchebag punched her? absolutely i would.
ChelseaLS Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 "care" is subjective. do i care if my ex gets stabbed? yes. do i care if she gets hit by a bus? yes. do i care if she's physically harmed? yes. those are bad things, and on the basest human emotion, i should care she's harm free. do i care if she's happy? do i care if she's successful? no. would i care if she called me crying a year later that some douchebag she ran off with turned out to be a jerk? nah. because i already knew that would happen. would i care if she called me crying a year later because some douchebag punched her? absolutely i would. Lol fair enough. BUT it's not like have forgotten (Is it really easy for you to forget? After a very long term relationship) the past relationship.
sunshine103 Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 (edited) Forget, no. I don't think I will ever forget my ex, because overall, it was the worst relationship I ever had in my life. But, this might sound crazy, I do miss my ex. Edited November 16, 2011 by sunshine103
Author Shattered dreams Posted November 16, 2011 Author Posted November 16, 2011 i asked this because i recently broke up with my bF about 2 weeks ago. we were together for 11 years. He is now having a long distance relationship with my ex bestfriend, we still see each other almost everyday but we don't actually talk. he is very distant. I dont know what's going on in his mind. I dont know if he still loves me.. and i dont know how to find out.
stunned8165 Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 No. I can't forget. I still have a big hole for what was once my family. I still love and miss her too. But who I THOUGHT she was. Not what she turned out to be which is a liar and cheat. After three yaers and being a dad to her now 4 & 5 year old. I'm still angry , hurt and dread the holidays.
lymtal1 Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 no, i wanted to marry her and have kids with her. never wanted that before. so that has left a big hole in my heart but i am slowly healing. i will always love her and always want to be with her but i will not and could not, not after this. actually sad but when i step back and look at it she is loosing way more than i. this i am sure of so i am ok.
flitzanu Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 i asked this because i recently broke up with my bF about 2 weeks ago. we were together for 11 years. He is now having a long distance relationship with my ex bestfriend, we still see each other almost everyday but we don't actually talk. he is very distant. I dont know what's going on in his mind. I dont know if he still loves me.. and i dont know how to find out. it doesn't matter if he still loves you, you broke up with him 2 weeks ago. that means you didn't want to be with him.
chados Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 girls have easy to forget? it looks to me that its even worse for them? i sometimes miss people i've been dating or had a relationship with, cause i guess in most cases you remember the good times before the bad.
Author Shattered dreams Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 it doesn't matter if he still loves you, you broke up with him 2 weeks ago. that means you didn't want to be with him. No he broke up with me...
TheDovic Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 No. In my experience it's never easy to forget! Some guys (and girls) can pretend to forget as they think NC is best OR they try to cover up the pain by seeing someone else OR they think being cold will help convince them breaking up is the right thing to do. Some people simply don't like to confront their feelings out of fear so try to act as if everything is ok with them to convince themselves it really is... But regardless of what circumstances that led to the break up, it usually seems to bring a lot of pain!
sunshine103 Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 No. In my experience it's never easy to forget! Some guys (and girls) can pretend to forget as they think NC is best OR they try to cover up the pain by seeing someone else OR they think being cold will help convince them breaking up is the right thing to do. Some people simply don't like to confront their feelings out of fear so try to act as if everything is ok with them to convince themselves it really is... But regardless of what circumstances that led to the break up, it usually seems to bring a lot of pain! Dovic, your answer is sooo on point! Especially the part when you say, "people don't like to confront their feelings out of fear, so try to act if everything is ok" But what usually happens is, if you know your ex well enough, you can see right through that and see that they are actually in pain and struggling. They will rather live for months and months in pain and anxiety than admit they were wrong.
OriginalPenguin Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Is it really easy for you to forget? After a very long term relationship Define very long? I have felt the pain of breakups after many years and after only many months. I consider both to be long because in my case these were very close and emotional bonds. So no, it is not easy to forget. It is easy to take the right steps like not digging up bones and living in the past, but easy to erase from memory? Not at all. I think us males get maligned for things like this but when it comes down to it we are human too, all the posturing and Never Cry or have feelings BS only goes so far.
ChelseaLS Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 No. In my experience it's never easy to forget! Some guys (and girls) can pretend to forget as they think NC is best OR they try to cover up the pain by seeing someone else OR they think being cold will help convince them breaking up is the right thing to do. Some people simply don't like to confront their feelings out of fear so try to act as if everything is ok with them to convince themselves it really is... But regardless of what circumstances that led to the break up, it usually seems to bring a lot of pain! It is true most people don't want to confront their feelings after a break up. It's scary and well, hurts, a lot. This break up I did confront my feelings and it sucked, but I feel I am further ahead with accpeting it and moving on then in the past. By no means, does that mean I don't hurt anymore and I am ready to move on to the next relationship, but I do feel stronger this time around.
broken-and-lost Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 you don't forget not really you felt love and that love regardless of what happened is still their in the background i haven't forgotten her if they really meant something to you you'll always have a place in your heart for them whether you admit that or not.
Author Shattered dreams Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 Define very long? I have felt the pain of breakups after many years and after only many months. I consider both to be long because in my case these were very close and emotional bonds. So no, it is not easy to forget. It is easy to take the right steps like not digging up bones and living in the past, but easy to erase from memory? Not at all. I think us males get maligned for things like this but when it comes down to it we are human too, all the posturing and Never Cry or have feelings BS only goes so far. Long meaning 11 going on our 12th year...
leoc1973 Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Depends why he broke up... I have broken up with a girl and wanted to call her every day she was great but we had different ideas of how the world worked. I also broke up with a girl that I really just never fell deeply in love with she kissed a guy and I pounced on the opportunity to break up with her. I was already looking for a reason. I never shed one tear over her. but the first one I was hurting for well over a year.
Author Shattered dreams Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 Depends why he broke up... I have broken up with a girl and wanted to call her every day she was great but we had different ideas of how the world worked. I also broke up with a girl that I really just never fell deeply in love with she kissed a guy and I pounced on the opportunity to break up with her. I was already looking for a reason. I never shed one tear over her. but the first one I was hurting for well over a year. We were ok until we migrated recently (a month ago).. We are on our 12th yr as bf/gf.. He broke up with me coz he is having a long distance relationship with my ex bestfriend w/c i found up just recently (things started when we were in our country) Thing is he could have told me and left me there, and not string me along this new country we are in. Where i dont know anyone, i dont have friends... Now we still see each other but we dont talk (his aunt always asks me to stay in their place).. I really dont know what happened, he told me he still loves me but the feeling is not strong.. And do you think long distance rel works?? I still want him back but he is very distant. Is that a sign that he truly forgot abt us? Has he really moved on?
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