PJKino Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 I hate when people tell guys who dont do well with women to stop thnking so much about trying to find women and theyll come when you dont expect it.. Ive tried that for most of 30 year and its gotten me nowhere...Unless you're a good looking guy who women approach or will at least ask about you through a mutual friend or colleague you have to be overly proactive and hit on tons of women in hopes to get one yes for us average or unattractive Men.. I know women want to feel special and that we found you special to ask you out and blah blah blah but as unattractive Men we dont have the luxury to wait and try to find that one connection and theb ask because chances are slim that any random girl will say yes so it has to be a numbers game..
somedude81 Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Ive tried that for most of 30 year and its gotten me nowhere...Unless you're a good looking guy who women approach Or you're a woman, which who that advice is really for...
oaks Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 I hate when people tell guys who dont do well with women to stop thnking so much about trying to find women and theyll come when you dont expect it.. I agree that the advice is largely BS. Well, unless you're obsessing with "must find a woman" with every living breath to the extent that it's interfering with other aspects of your life, of course. The more common advice in this forum seems to be, generally, "man up and do something about it".
Disillusioned Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 That saying got started because someone else had ESP and used it to pick up the vibes of the love of their life. I'd have no problem finding the right kinds of women if I had ESP... not to mention I could make a killing on the stock market, LOL!
jobaba Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 I hate when people tell guys who dont do well with women to stop thnking so much about trying to find women and theyll come when you dont expect it.. Ive tried that for most of 30 year and its gotten me nowhere...Unless you're a good looking guy who women approach or will at least ask about you through a mutual friend or colleague you have to be overly proactive and hit on tons of women in hopes to get one yes for us average or unattractive Men.. I know women want to feel special and that we found you special to ask you out and blah blah blah but as unattractive Men we dont have the luxury to wait and try to find that one connection and theb ask because chances are slim that any random girl will say yes so it has to be a numbers game.. I agree. You have to be proactive. I have been moderately aggressive in asking out and socializing with women (friends first route). If I had been any less proactive and the cards had fallen the wrong way, I could have easily been a mid-30s virgin who had never been kissed. Sad to hear, but it's true. Most women have a pretty firm bottom line when it comes to attraction. So you either have to overcome that with other qualities, or look for the small percentage who will overlook looks.
InJest Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 "Friends first route" is a terrible way to approach women. No wonder you have no success. Friends first is not something that you can use as your game; if it's going to happen like that, it just happens, you don't plan it.
jobaba Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 If you've got confidence, looks don't matter that much anymore. I actually know a guy who's a mid-30s virgin ... momma's boy, she still buys him clothes, makes him his food, and refuses to go out on dates because 'you have to pay for stuff and i want to save for my old age'. Really? I would like to talk to you. Haha. I've already checked out the link you provided. Looks decent.
jobaba Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 "Friends first route" is a terrible way to approach women. No wonder you have no success. Friends first is not something that you can use as your game; if it's going to happen like that, it just happens, you don't plan it. My response ... it's logical. If you're not the best looking guy with the best game, get to know her first and have her get to know you. That has worked ZERO times. So, you're right. I learned it the hard way, but at least I learned it.
SteveC80 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 I've always said this,dont listen to women who want to be the only girl you approach to feel special Most women giving you this advice wouldnt give you the time of day anyway
monkey00 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 I think the real saying is 'you'll find happiness when you aren't looking for it.' I don't know if it's complete BS. There is a little truth to it. If you are active socially and don't expect anything out of the interaction or activity with the opposite sex...you might find yourself lucky if that special girl crosses your path. Plus I think the argument also is that people are attracted to those who have their own life and aren't obsessed about getting into someone else's pants. The mere frustration out of attempting to meet someone or have someone like you is just failed expectations when things don't go your way.
Lobouspo Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 I agree for the most part, but its a fine line. If someone is totally fixated on finding a GF, i think women can pick up on that neediness and desperation and that can sink a person in terms of potential mates. If you on the other hand have your s--t together, are content with your situation, and have some healthy balance in your life, you naturally make yourself more attractive
danmorisson Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 You actually listen to half the BS on here? lol If you are physically unattractive, trust me when I say this, you will never attract a mate. I don't care if you have theee best personality known to man, you will never attract a mate. You will even struggle to make any friends. The only thing that can save you is 'fame' - an above normal social status. Fame puts you in a higher social class
adam029 Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 pjKINO i have to totally disagree with you, the last 2 serious relationships ive had came about me out having fun with friends and travelling by myself overseas......not looking for love just happen to stumble upon that person you dearly wanted to spend time with.....if you actually think you're not good looking enough to meet someone, that i think is your problem.....the old saying is 'you have to love yourself before someone can love you'.....im not saying im gods gift to women but you have to stay positive because you never know whats around the corner....
chelsey king Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 Love comes when you least expect it. Don't rush things if it's meant to be happen it will happen please click
danmorisson Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 BS! Most of us do love ourselves. And yes, most dates come from hanging out with friends, and maybe that is why unattractive people struggle to find friendship - especially friendship with the opposite sex? Everything's sex oriented. You see an attractive girl on youtube, she has a boyfriend, but all of her 'friends' online are extremely good looking. Even friendship is about sex to the majority out there.
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