sm13 Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 helping someone in this position, telling his story any advice or opinions? also have a few things to discuss, but first, the story.. So im 19, and about a year ago met this girl who was 16, 17 now. Well we hooked up because we made it pretty clear that thats all we wanted. We did not have intercourse/sex but she has given me head and i've played with her a little in return (haven't gone down on her). Well its been a while since we've last gotten together and its gonna be like 10 more months till she's 18.. so here are my questions.. 1) I know its illegal to have sex but would her giving me head be just as illegal? or even us hooking up/making out? 2) If she did want to screw me over, what exactly would she have to do? Im not sure how she would be able to prove it? Unless she kept a text message of us talking about something sexual.. not sure if that would be enough. 3) Once she is 18, could she still screw me over for stuff we did when she was underage? or does it not matter anymore since she's 18 or since it was a while ago? 4)What kind of consequences am i looking at? 5) And this is a complicated one.. we talk every now and then, but what should be my next move? A) ditch her, delete everything linked to her (there is that chance this would piss her off enough to want to end up screwing me over) B) keep it casual and just be friends with her and try not to piss her off till she's 18, which obviously means no hooking up..? What would you do? Any help is great, thanks!!!
Citizen Erased Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Her giving you head and you touching her = sex. You don't have to penetrate her with your penis for it to be considered sex. It's her word against yours, but it can be brought to court and you can be found guilty if she has some form of proof. I know I can gain access to my text messages from my phone company, so if she can and really wants to then you're kinda screwed. After only a couple of years, yes she or her parents can press charges against you, regardless of if she will be of age. You could go to jail and more likely be registered as a sex offender. As for the last, I don't quite have it in me to help people that break the law. Children are off limits, it's really not that hard to comprehend surely?
ashton69 Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Find someone your own age. Then you wont have to deal with this legal bs. Sex with her is not worth the sex you'll be having in jail with rough neck rodney once the cops take your ass in, thats for sure dude.
gaius Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 A friend of mine just finished an 8 month stint in jail for sleeping with an underage girl, plus now he's a convicted felon. She ended up telling her parents and they told the cops and that was the end of his fun. If you dump her completely she might feel spurned and tell someone, so just stay cordial. Next time you have an urge to sleep with an underage girl, just say no and whack off instead. Don't be an idiot and end up like my friend. The cops take that stuff seriously.
smudge21 Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Just shows the differences across the globe I guess, as if you'd asked that question from an England point of view, there would be no issue as the legal age is 16 and I doubt anyone would argue about a 19 year old and a 16 year old (although a few may tut under their breath and spill their cup of tea). You have to stick within your own countries laws and for this instance I would be very very careful. I'm not sure if she could turn on you in years to come and say something or even if she would. By the fact you're together when she's 18 would indicate that you didn't force her into anything. If you have serious concerns then I would back off from even the slightest thing until she's of legal age... or move to another country!
oaks Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 1) I know its illegal to have sex but would her giving me head be just as illegal? or even us hooking up/making out? Maybe. Depends what country/state you live in and the exact circumstances of everything that happened. 4)What kind of consequences am i looking at? Depends where you are. In some countries she'll get stoned to death, and in others you'll get locked up. Consider getting proper legal advice if you're really worried about this, or go and talk to the next police officer you see and explain that you might have had unlawful sex with a minor. Hopefully you live in a country where you'll get treated fairly.
EasyHeart Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 So im 19, and about a year ago met this girl who was 16, 17 now.Where do you live? The age of consent is different depending on which state/country you live in. Sixteen is legal in may US states. And even if it's not, most states have graduated levels of criminal conduct depending on the differences in ages of the two people. And while there are lots of horror stories out there, most prosecutors are not going to bother going after every teenager who has sex; they have better things to do with their time.
RiverRunning Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 A cousin of mine was 18-19 and she had a relationship with a girl who was 14-15. When it came to light (just after the girl turned 16), my cousin did have to go to court. But the court mentioned that the age difference was negligible and that they typically don't throw the book at teenagers who have sexual relationships with each other. My cousin was ordered to go to a few counseling sessions, at which point the entire thing was going to be wiped from her record. IF she stopped talking to the girl altogether. Well, she didn't, and she spent nearly 2 years in prison. She's now a convicted sex offender. The age difference between you is SO minimal that I doubt anything would happen, even if she were under the age of consent in your state. Some states have a rule that if a person is under the age of consent, they won't prosecute if you're within so many years of that person (say, only 2 years older, while 3 might be the cut-off). I think that's in California or Florida - I don't remember. But the country and state you're in matter. I'd say you're just being petrified for no reason, though.
Pierre Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 A 18-19 year old boy fooling around with a 16 year old girl is not considered pedophilia. I think most judges would look at this with an open mind. I would not worry.
aj22one Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Step 1. Look up the age of consent where you live (city, state). You might be freaking out about nothing. Step 2. Delete anything you think might be incriminating. You can still talk to her every now and again if you really want to though. Step 3. if she does bring charges against you, get a good lawyer. The fact that you're worrying so much is a perfect example of why some of these "statutory rape" laws are just completely ridiculous and wrongfully enforced.
Elysian Powder Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 A 18-19 year old boy fooling around with a 16 year old girl is not considered pedophilia. I think most judges would look at this with an open mind. I would not worry. It's famously treated as statutory rape. Many cases of a 16 year old boy being sent to jail because he slept with his 15 year old girlfriend have filled the courts of the United states for many years now. A very recent case took place in the states. A 16 year old girl, member of a rich family, was dating a 19year old Mexican. Her parents warned her that they were going to press charges and to save her lover, she killed her parents. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_consent Op, you messed up. You've basically ruined your entire life for a child. And for what? You should always make sure that the female you want to sleep with is at least 18 years old. Do you want to play smart? Have the women sign a consent form. Women can, at anytime, go back and accuse you of rape; safeguard yourself or you'll end up prison-raped.
Pierre Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 It's famously treated as statutory rape. Many cases of a 16 year old boy being sent to jail because he slept with his 15 year old girlfriend have filled the courts of the United states for many years now. A very recent case took place in the states. A 16 year old girl, member of a rich family, was dating a 19year old Mexican. Her parents warned her that they were going to press charges and to save her lover, she killed her parents. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_consent Op, you messed up. You've basically ruined your entire life for a child. And for what? You should always make sure that the female you want to sleep with is at least 18 years old. Do you want to play smart? Have the women sign a consent form. Women can, at anytime, go back and accuse you of rape; safeguard yourself or you'll end up prison-raped. I get your point, but some 16 year old girls are much more experienced than 19 year old boys.:laugh::laugh:
Disillusioned Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Weird how some of us who'd never dare smoke a joint or run a red light, don't find anything wrong with underage sex.
AHardDaysNight Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 I get your point, but some 16 year old girls are much more experienced than 19 year old boys.:laugh::laugh: Or 29 year old men. OP, I think you made a mistake here. The laws are crazy in the US regarding this. I knew a dude who was 18 who was dating a 16 year old girl once. They met in high school; she was a sophomore, he was a senior. He went to jail, just because her parents didn't like him. You are not a pedophile because there is a three year difference and you're both teenagers, my god! You're both kids, she is a young adult, and you are barely an adult. But of course, the courts won't see it that way, so I'd break up with her.
Elysian Powder Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 (edited) I get your point, but some 16 year old girls are much more experienced than 19 year old boys.:laugh::laugh: Women are far more promiscuous than men; they have all of the opportunities and very little repercussions. Back in the 8th grade, I was shocked to discover that more than 50 girls were pregnant by the same guy. The fellow was 16 years old, attending the 9th grade and used the boy's bathroom as his private sex room, LOL. Christian girls, nonetheless. Years later, they're all married to good men and the father of their kids ain't even paying child-support LOL. Most females aren't this public-ally vivacious, but most underage girls are sexing it up ''Sex and the City'' style, without a doubt. Guys, stay away from these sex demons. You'll be thrown into jail. Edited November 16, 2011 by Elysian Powder
MaxNoob Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 When I was 13, a 14 year old girl was repeatedly asking me to have sex with her, which made me really uncomfortable since I hadn't gone through puberty yet. But at age 17, having a 19 year old girl hitting on me was awesome.
dasein Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 OP if you are really concerned, you will need to ask a lawyer in your area or do some legal research. Laws are different everywhere.
Pierre Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 When I was 15 I messed around with a 13 year old girl. I was ignorant, but knew intercourse was a no, no. She looked like a grown woman to me!!!
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 It's not worth the potential trouble, especially since you don't even appear to like her! But don't "ditch" her. Since you're already worried about possible consequences, just stop messing around with her but be sure to still be "nice."
Pasttense Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Here is a table of the age of consent: http://www.ageofconsent.us/ Click on the state name to get the exact regulations. But even if your state has an age of 18, I also agree that it probably won't be enforced for the ages that you and your girlfriend are.
rightfield Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 As others have stated, this largely depends on where you live. Where I live, the age of consent is 17, but there is something called the "boyfriend law." Basically, even if one person is underage, if there is no more than 3 years separation between the two, the older person cannot be prosecuted. So in your example, if she was 16 and you were 18, you would have nothing to worry about. In fact, around here, you'd need to be more worried about dad or brother whipping your axx.
Pasttense Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 a guy on his 18th b-day had sex with a girl one day younger and got life w/o parole. hes been in jail for years Nonsense. If you are not making it up, then an urban myth.
unknownsources Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 As others have said, it completely depends on where you live. If you live in the States, do a search for "Statute of Limitations" and "Statutory Rape". In some states, the statute of limitations is a few years, sometimes it's until the younger party is 21, sometimes it's something else. There are a couple of good websites with info on this kind of stuff.
Author sm13 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Posted November 17, 2011 Well to answer a lot of those questions, California is my where abouts. Age of consent = 18 Few year leniency = No So my plan will be as follows as i hope it works for the best, I'll stay her friend, talk to her every now and then, be a nice guy, obviously no more fooling around, keep everything on good terms and hope for the best!
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