Susaluda Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 It's been over a year now since my ex and I broke up (he completely shattered my heart and I'm still getting over it) and I really want another relationship. I have no luck with any of the guys at college with me so I recently decided to try online dating. It's great because people seem interested in me, but every time they suggest meeting up, I get super scared and start to panic. I'm going to lunch with a guy this weekend that I met online and instead of being excited, I'm terrified. Not because I'm worried he could be an axe murderer or anything like that haha, but just because I'm scared to go out with a guy. Has anyone else experienced this?
D87 Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 don't think of it as a date, just think you're going to lunch with a friend.
ScienceGal Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 If you're still feeling shattered by your ex, perhaps you are not ready to date yet. What have you done since the break up to boost your energy and self esteem? With any relationship you need to begin with self confidence. You need to be happy and secure with yourself. Walk into any date knowing that you have a great deal to offer, be yourself, and walk away knowing that it is ok if you didn't like him or he didn't like you. I understand anxiety. I feel it quite often. The fear things won't work out. But think about your life and all of the times you've felt panicked. Think of all the times it was unnecessary and all of the times it blew over. Laugh about how silly all those times were. Now realize there are a million moments before you. What will you do? You're a person. You have hobbies and interests. You have beliefs and morals. You have things you like, perhaps more things you'd like to explore. You are amazing and wonderful. You have a lot to offer. Quit selling yourself short. As long as you're striving for decency and truth, anyone would be lucky to go on a date with you. Chin up!
chimason Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Well here is some help for you. Real Women Real Love Dating Advice For Real Women. High Conversions Because It's Targeted To Women 25 Years Of Age Or Older, With Emotional Baggage From Failed Relationships. Mind Makeover Program Tackles Limiting Beliefs And Restores Faith In Love. http://600943w5t9ldzznuym0y7qcx68.hop.clickbank.net/ Hope it helps.
ScienceGal Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Do not click on the link above or any other site link that someone posts. They're all scams.
Author Susaluda Posted November 16, 2011 Author Posted November 16, 2011 Thanks for the great response ScienceGal! Since the breakup I've done a lot to boost my self esteem and trying to be happy again. I love ballet so I've been taking more classes and I had a fabulous internship last summer (which got me a full time job starting after I graduate!). I hang out with my friends and have fun, but it's still hard even over a year later. I've been going to a counselor recently so that helps a bit. I think the reason I'm struggling so much right now is that two of my roommates have started dating each other. Since I live with them, I can't get away from the constant lovey-doveyness. That reminds me of how much I miss when things were good with my ex and how much I want someone special too. Maybe you're right in saying that I'm not ready to date yet. I so badly want to find someone else though and I'm not going to get that if I don't try. I just wish I wasn't so scared.
Sugarkane Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Yes I can relate OP. It's been more than a year since my breakup too. Sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it. I'm also scared of being completely hurt by someone again, like last time. I made the mistake of dating too soon after the breakup.
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