How crazy is it that I still want her back given her track record?

[MIK1000]

Am I sick like a drug addict who can't stay away from something that is so clearly bad?

 

My ex was the most attractive girl in a year at school by a mile, she's beautiful.

She had a BF from ages of 12-16 who loved her like crazy. He wasn't in her league looks wise and when she got to sixteen she dumped him for an older, much more popular, attractive jock type who basically used her for sex in the end and hurt her.

 

Her next boy friend was about a year and a half later, he was also not in the same league looks wise and she always described the 4 month relationship as "awkward" and really pretty immature. They didn't do anything more than kiss in the 4 months they went out and in the end she kissed an older, cooler, more attractive guy in a night club then broke up the boy not long after before going on a few dates with the older boy which led to nothing.

 

A couple months later me and her starting going out and lasted sixteen months, I'd also say I'm not in her league looks wise (I'm not just putting her on a pedestal) and the relationship was amazing. The chemistry we had was brilliant and I ignored the stuff from her past because i put it down to age and immaturity. We were so in love it seemed that I couldn't every imagine her hurting me the way she did those boys, she was so caring and considerate of my feelings and talked about a long term future (despite me only being twenty and her 18). Then she went away to america to work at a kids camp for a summer and I had no doubts everything would be fine and she'd be faithful, she became distant, dumped me after I companied a few times about this and then started going out with a boy from her camp only a few weeks later.

 

I still miss her like crazy though, and make excuses for her. She had many amazing qualities which made her a good person but ultimately was selfish.

 

Am I crazy for still wanting her back, or are many of us like this?

[RecordProducer]

She grew up and grew out of your maturity level. She didn't realize this until she actually went to the camp abroad and met someone. She is 18. She is a young woman. You, on the other hand...

 

You not only spent half of your post talking about her ex-boyfriends, which was completely irrelevant, but your discussion revolved solely around who was looks-wise in her league. You didn't mention a singlething about your relationship (other than looks), but you listed and described in detail everyone she ever dated. You even said she had a boyfriend from 12-16 who loved her like crazy. Are you sure you're 20? Because you sound 12 to me.

 

It's normal for people to drift apart as they grow up. As we mture, our tastes change. The chemistry changes, too.

[smudge21]

Yeah, she's young and experiencing everything life has to offer, whether that be travelling or dating. It doesn't matter what her exs looked like, the fact was that something at that time attracted her to them just like it attracted her to you and vice versa. Move on from looks and realise that people are often much deeper than this, even at a younger age.

 

It's sad the way this ended for you but you're still young too and you will meet someone else, who equally "rocks your world" and this girl will become a distant memory - a fond one maybe, but still a memory. The fact you had sixteen fun filled months with her is something to be happy about too, but I know right now that's not how you feel. Only in time when she's finally off that pedestal (admit it, she is) and you've healed will you be able to look back on all this and remember the good but without feeling any pain or misery.

 

People make a lot of mistakes throughout their lives and they need to as it's the only way they learn what is important and how to treat others. Don't beat yourself up over the fact you still think she's amazing - you still love her and want her. You're not alone in any of the feelings you're having right now. They will pass with time.

[MIK1000]

She grew up and grew out of your maturity level. She didn't realize this until she actually went to the camp abroad and met someone. She is 18. She is a young woman. You, on the other hand...

 

You not only spent half of your post talking about her ex-boyfriends, which was completely irrelevant, but your discussion revolved solely around who was looks-wise in her league. You didn't mention a singlething about your relationship (other than looks), but you listed and described in detail everyone she ever dated. You even said she had a boyfriend from 12-16 who loved her like crazy. Are you sure you're 20? Because you sound 12 to me.

 

It's normal for people to drift apart as they grow up. As we mture, our tastes change. The chemistry changes, too.

 

Sorry but this post is totally unfair and off the mark.

 

Of course I'm going to be talking about her ex boy friends for a lot of the thread? Did you misread the title or something? It's about her track record and how I still want her despite it.

 

Yes I spoke about her and their looks, but I was trying to pain a picture of someone who goes for guys less attractive than her purposely in order to be adored, that is relevant, regardless of if u try and paint as a superficial point.

 

I didn't mention anything from our relationship a part from looks? What do you call this?

 

"and the relationship was amazing. The chemistry we had was brilliant"

 

"She had many amazing qualities which made her a good person"

 

Not only have you missed the point of the thread but you've attacked me for basically no reason.

 

About her outgrowing my maturity level, I don't think that's the case considering she acted like a school girl during the break up and showed no maturity.

[MIK1000]

Yeah, she's young and experiencing everything life has to offer, whether that be travelling or dating. It doesn't matter what her exs looked like, the fact was that something at that time attracted her to them just like it attracted her to you and vice versa. Move on from looks and realise that people are often much deeper than this, even at a younger age.

 

It's sad the way this ended for you but you're still young too and you will meet someone else, who equally "rocks your world" and this girl will become a distant memory - a fond one maybe, but still a memory. The fact you had sixteen fun filled months with her is something to be happy about too, but I know right now that's not how you feel. Only in time when she's finally off that pedestal (admit it, she is) and you've healed will you be able to look back on all this and remember the good but without feeling any pain or misery.

 

People make a lot of mistakes throughout their lives and they need to as it's the only way they learn what is important and how to treat others. Don't beat yourself up over the fact you still think she's amazing - you still love her and want her. You're not alone in any of the feelings you're having right now. They will pass with time.

 

I was only referring to the looks to suggest that maybe she goes for less good looking guys in order to be more adored have more control in the relationship. I'm not a shallow person in the slightest, but things like that are relevant.

 

So you're saying that she will mature and grow into a good partner one day and the way she's treated boys so far is more down to age as opposed to being a disloyal person?

[AlexDP]

I was only referring to the looks to suggest that maybe she goes for less good looking guys in order to be more adored have more control in the relationship. I'm not a shallow person in the slightest, but things like that are relevant.

 

So you're saying that she will mature and grow into a good partner one day and the way she's treated boys so far is more down to age as opposed to being a disloyal person?

 

Not likely. The way she treats boys now will be the way she'll treat boys for quite some time to come.

[MIK1000]

Not likely. The way she treats boys now will be the way she'll treat boys for quite some time to come.

 

It's a pity, if you're right. She had so many good qualities that would have made her a good wife, and she would be an amazing mother.

 

I'm certain she never cheated on me the whole time we were going out, despite her effectively breaking up with me for another guy. She rejected a lot of advances from men that a lot of girls would jump at the chance to get with and because of that I thought she was genuinely trust worthy and madly in love with me.