woman2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 I spoke to my ex boyfriend for the first time since our break (approximately 1 month ago). He broke up with me and I initiated contact with him because I miss him so much. We had a friendly conversation...caught up on some chit chit. He said he missed me and then he had to go. I feel the conversation was such a let down. I had all these things I wanted to say and ask and I didn't get a chance to do that. I'm confused. Why agree to call me, say you miss me and then nothing. Any advice would be great.
jordjones Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 He obviously knows that he has all the power - he dumped you and it has only been a month. With that said, you have one of two approaches, here. If reconciliation is your ultimate goal - and it probably is since you are in this forum - then you need to get a little face time with him. However, you must keep the conversation light, at all cost. Do not overwhelm him with questions about the past or telling him how you feel about him. Just have fun. Alternatively, if you really just need closure, then you can ask him the tough questions and tell him how you feel face-to-face. When you sit down with an ex and immediately tell him/her how you feel, it will generally push them away. You have to take things very gradually, which takes a hell of a lot of patience, and in most cases, isn't even worth it. If a gradual escalation of contact isn't getting the results you want - i.e. you are in the "friend zone" - then pull back for a while. I believe that in most relationships reconciliation is possible, if you play your cards right. Patience and maintaining composure are key.
cblunt09 Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 I totally agree with Jord 100%. Face to face chat is usually the best way to go and to find out where you both stand. Its funny on my spare time i like to read books about stuff like this and the info that they provide helps ive used a few things and it works... But anyway usually when someone say somthing like that and suddenly have to go its to keep you on edge. It gives him the upper hand because now you are stuck trying to figure out why he would say somthing like that and nothing else. A face to face chat will tell alot just by body gestures and facial expression to show where things are leading somthing you cant see over the phone. Give him time to figure out what he wants to do and when the time is right ease it into a convosation keep it very smooth and suttle. He knows what you feel about him but what you need to know is how he feels about you once you know that take it from there, Wish you the best of luck. Everything will work out.
Author woman2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Author Posted November 20, 2011 Thanks for the feedback. I'm going to try take your advice. Update: My ex boyfriend texted me yesterday (one week after our telephone conversation) saying hope you're doing well. I responded with same sort of reply. This was yesterday. Haven't heard back from him. Why not respond my text since he initiated convo? I know this guy and he's not playing games. For sure. Any other suggestions as to why text me and then no response? Thanks.
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