david1667 Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Hello all, I have just under three weeks left in my time abroad in Europe this semester. Early on, I met this girl and we've become best friends here. I see her multiple times a week, we get dinner together all the time, watch movies, even took a weekend trip to another country. The problem is, of course, she's had a boyfriend for almost 2 years now, and over the course of us hanging out I've become completely obsessed with her. When we hang out, everything goes great. We laugh, we're very open with each other, and I'm always touching her during conversation and making light sexual jokes. If her boyfriend was aware of all the time she's spending with me, it would be a big cause for concern. Other people always think we're dating when they see us and she definitely knows I'm into her. She's opened up about past and current boyfriend(s), including how he doesn't like sex and how he's never actually made her orgasm, but yet she had a rather sexual, sober massage by a friend just a few months before abroad that no one but me knows about . She said it was her best ever arousal. Recently, she invited me to stay at her house in her home country for a weekend in a major european city, planned for next weekend. I don't know what to do. On the one hand I just want to try and kiss her soon and see what happens so I don't leave back for America full of regret and what ifs. I also want to ignore her for a while to see how long it takes before she contacts me. I always have doubts in my mind that maybe I'm not important at all to her and I'm just someone to keep her company here before I completely exit her life. It's hard for me to not try and talk to her though because otherwise my last few weeks here will be dull. I need to do something soon as I'm beginning to feel quite depressed. I know I should just be happy that I've met such a good friend, but it's a tough pill for guys to swallow....especially when there's been definite signs she's into me as well, and I'll likely never see her again.
ErgoStep Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 I don't know what to do. On the one hand I just want to try and kiss her soon and see what happens so I don't leave back for America full of regret and what ifs. As much sexual talk as you guys have had? Man, she's wondering why you haven't pulled a move yet. I always have doubts in my mind that maybe I'm not important at all to her and I'm just someone to keep her company here before I completely exit her life. Sure you are important to her. She enjoys your company, she likes flirting with you, and will be sad when you leave. It's hard for me to not try and talk to her though because otherwise my last few weeks here will be dull. I need to do something soon as I'm beginning to feel quite depressed. I know I should just be happy that I've met such a good friend, but it's a tough pill for guys to swallow....especially when there's been definite signs she's into me as well, and I'll likely never see her again. You are experiencing the emotional bonding that happens in a relationship. You are basically aware of an impending breakup. When you leave, life will seem empty without her. When you get home I would suggest looking for a girlfriend. Maybe process a little so you aren't grieving with your next love interest. It's nice to be able to make a good first impression.
Author david1667 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 As much sexual talk as you guys have had? Man, she's wondering why you haven't pulled a move yet. Sure you are important to her. She enjoys your company, she likes flirting with you, and will be sad when you leave. You are experiencing the emotional bonding that happens in a relationship. You are basically aware of an impending breakup. When you leave, life will seem empty without her. When you get home I would suggest looking for a girlfriend. Maybe process a little so you aren't grieving with your next love interest. It's nice to be able to make a good first impression. I haven't made a move yet because as much as we flirt, she really is into her boyfriend. She has pictures of him in multiple places in her room and they skype all the time. Her only other times cheating on him, minus the massage, was when she was completely ****face drunk once or twice in her home country, but she doesn't drink to get wasted anymore. If I had tried earlier I would've either got politely rejected and made the rest of the time a little weird, or it would've just been a one time thing. She's too into him to have a prolonged hook-up. I guess I'm just holding out for a "goodbye gift" of sorts in hopes that everything has been building up to that moment. Of course, I realize that is a very optomistic outlook......sucks. And yes, I fully intend to get back in the game once I'm back home.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 I haven't made a move yet because as much as we flirt, she really is into her boyfriend. She has pictures of him in multiple places in her room and they skype all the time. Her only other times cheating on him, minus the massage, was when she was completely ****face drunk once or twice in her home country, but she doesn't drink to get wasted anymore. If I had tried earlier I would've either got politely rejected and made the rest of the time a little weird, or it would've just been a one time thing. She's too into him to have a prolonged hook-up. I guess I'm just holding out for a "goodbye gift" of sorts in hopes that everything has been building up to that moment. Of course, I realize that is a very optomistic outlook......sucks. And yes, I fully intend to get back in the game once I'm back home. My best guess is that if you were not 100% guaranteed to go away she would not be flirting with you like this. Also... if she cheats on her BF, Why the hell would you want her?
Author david1667 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 My best guess is that if you were not 100% guaranteed to go away she would not be flirting with you like this. Also... if she cheats on her BF, Why the hell would you want her? So that would be a good thing, right? I want her because she's just so different than other girls I've met. She's much classier and interesting than the majority of American girls, especially at my school. Maybe it's just a crazy lust because of the whole aspect of meeting a foreign girl overseas. I realize a relationship now is impossible, but I'll keep in touch periodically. It's just a weird feeling becoming so close to someone in such a short time, and then leaving it completely
Elysian Powder Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 (edited) My best guess is that if you were not 100% guaranteed to go away she would not be flirting with you like this. Also... if she cheats on her BF, Why the hell would you want her? To have sex? European women aren't stuck-up 'bout sex like the North-Americans and how the Asians are(one Continent trying to drain as much money from the guy as possible before bedding him, the other Continent trying to establish a pendulum of romantic certainty as to not appear as a slut to it's family and community). They're far more likely to put out to a guy they find attractive. Nothing of the sort of fishing for emotional compatibility or waiting to investigate the guy as they're trying to do in the states. She thinks you are hot? She puts out. I was once in a non-nude Spanish beach and young, hot women in their 20's were doing topless sunbathing. Look around; they all do it if they have high quality goodies. Where have you heard of anything close to that in the states? You can be accused of sexual harassment 'cause Linda didn't like the way you said hi, but you travel thousands of miles to sunbathe on proper sands and you have a multitude of young, very attractive women on g-strings and topless, walking around and not minding the attention of average(or ugly) men. Anyway. Yes, this woman has a boyfriend. Most young women have boyfriends. I have never met an average young woman with a discrepancy on her dating life. Any woman who is young either has a solid relationship with a boyfriend or is tagging another guy along, the guy with potential for boyfriend title, while slowly cutting ties with the official boyfriend. Very rarely is a woman's romantic life vacant for more than 1 week; only if she's concentrating on her studies or the men around her are sub-par. OP, think of it. This European cu-tie has the hots for you. She'll stay in Europe after your romantic liaison and you'll return to the states. What chances do you have of meeting another euro? Just go for it. In her mind it's just sex, and the boyfriend is probably doing it with a woman from the states . The euros are immensely sexual and they only concern themselves with exclusive relationships in their 30's. Edited November 16, 2011 by Elysian Powder
Author david1667 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Posted November 16, 2011 To have sex? European women aren't stuck-up 'bout sex like the North-Americans and how the Asians are(one Continent trying to drain as much money from the guy as possible before bedding him, the other Continent trying to establish a pendulum of romantic certainty as to not appear as a slut to it's family and community). They're far more likely to put out to a guy they find attractive. Nothing of the sort of fishing for emotional compatibility or waiting to investigate the guy as they're trying to do in the states. She thinks you are hot? She puts out. I was once in a non-nude Spanish beach and young, hot women in their 20's were doing topless sunbathing. Look around; they all do it if they have high quality goodies. Where have you heard of anything close to that in the states? You can be accused of sexual harassment 'cause Linda didn't like the way you said hi, but you travel thousands of miles to sunbathe on proper sands and you have a multitude of young, very attractive women on g-strings and topless, walking around and not minding the attention of average(or ugly) men. Anyway. Yes, this woman has a boyfriend. Most young women have boyfriends. I have never met an average young woman with a discrepancy on her dating life. Any woman who is young either has a solid relationship with a boyfriend or is tagging another guy along, the guy with potential for boyfriend title, while slowly cutting ties with the official boyfriend. Very rarely is a woman's romantic life vacant for more than 1 week; only if she's concentrating on her studies or the men around her are sub-par. OP, think of it. This European cu-tie has the hots for you. She'll stay in Europe after your romantic liaison and you'll return to the states. What chances do you have of meeting another euro? Just go for it. In her mind it's just sex, and the boyfriend is probably doing it with a woman from the states . The euros are immensely sexual and they only concern themselves with exclusive relationships in their 30's. You're right about Europeans and their views on sex. I know a lot about her past sex life, and her number of partners is relatively high, but not what I'd call slut status. However, I just feel like I met her 2 years too late. Im 21 and she's about to turn 22, and she tells me when she was younger she, in a way, almost felt obligated to have sex with guys to prove her worth. To her it was fun and normal. Her boyfriend however lost his v-card to her at age 20, so he's scared of her past and wants to feel special, which is why according to her rough sex that makes him think of her past is no longer existent. Now when she tells me something like that, it either means A.) she's dying for some good sex, or B.) I've become her emotional tampon and she can tell me all her problems now matter how private because she knows I'll listen.
Elysian Powder Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Take her to the beach at night. Then make your move. Fck her if she's receptive, forget her if she tries to play hard.
Author david1667 Posted November 21, 2011 Author Posted November 21, 2011 Well I think I ****ed this one up. Update: I saw her a couple times since the post, nothing major, same old stuff except for her being stressed trying to find a compatible masters program. Anywho, she was gone for the weekend and when I was drunk me and two of my buddies decided to go egging and for some reason we decided it would be funny to egg her window as well. Don't ask why, I normally never do this stuff and while I was hesitant, my friends convinced me otherwise. The window was partly open, some cracked inside, some on the window...5 or 6 total. I realized immediately after I did it that I'm just about the only person who knows that is her window, and the area where her window is an odd location for a random drunk person to be walking. Obviously she also knows that I know she was out of town. She came back today so and I sent a couple of texts seeing if she was back in town..no reply. Somewhat unusual for her, but its happened before when she's been overloaded with school work as she is now. I really hate myself haha. This sounds so stupid. Maybe I'm just paranoid..and obviously I'll deny if she brings it up. My friends tell me its fine she thinks so highly of me she'll never suspect me..but who knows. I feel so ashamed.
mammamia1 Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 sorry, but that was stupid. U got the most awesome advice from Elysian Powder and u still messed up. I don't know what else to say.
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