Mag-Lone-Freak Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 My boyfriend tells me he can't choose between me and his addiction. That him quitting cold turkey after years of abuse is not a reality. Tells me he's come from a background of harder drug use and that him smoking pot and cigarettes only now supposedly is a huge success and if I'm to dump him over that, then I'm shallow he says. Its been 2 and a half years of dealing with his battle. Its come down to me not trusting him when he leaves our place to have a smoke because I've caught him getting high with his buddies enough times.. I don't want to go out there with him now and neither does he but I also don't want to deal with feeling upset. He says he feels I'm giving him an ultimatum and that ultimatums don't work, but I also feel like HE's giving ME the ultimatum, that I'm to accept him as he is, or forget it, and if I do, then I'm shallow... Is he just manipulating me?
sadintexas Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 It's all about perspective. Instead of getting wrapped up in who may be more right or more wrong about this, go straight to the bottom line. Can you continue a relationship with a man who uses?
Tayla Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Oddly Ultimatums DO work. The difference is , who gets to call chicken first. I can say this as a recovering Drug/alcohol abuser, WE are truly the most selfish of persons when in the addiction. Shallow, egotistical and down right insecure to a level no one can ever know. So lets get this off the table and make one thing clear. He is sick and his reasoning (irrational as it is) will eventually bring you down. Step away if you must, the best you can do is stay healthy and not allow his illness to become your burden.
Author Mag-Lone-Freak Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 No. I wish I knew more about addictions and didn't meet him in my open minded phase, meaning I was ok with him smoking cigs and pot, until I realized the problems they caused later and relapses to other other drugs. I wish he didn't promise to quit, maybe I would've thought twice. The problem is that I feel stuck for many reasons. I don't want to stay, I don't want to go.
sadintexas Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Well, that's what you're going to have to figure out. Some people can live with it and find ways to cope and keep their sanity and remain detached from the addiction, and others can't. They get too enmeshed in the addiction and trying to control it. I can tell you that until HE decides, for himself, that he wants to stop, no amount of begging, pleading, threatening, compromising, etc will change anything long term. You will be destined for a lot of disappointment if you believe there's a way for you to really influence his decisions. May I ask what is keeping you there? There's often not much that keeps us tied to a situation beyond fear of change itself.
Author Mag-Lone-Freak Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 My feelings for him and the guilt from fear thoughts such as what'll happen to him if we broke it off. Plus he's good at giving me hope and making me think he's close to done with drugs and smoking.
CELEBREXBUY Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 CHEAP CELEBREX 200mg IN USA BUY ONLINE - celebrex celecoxib alabama
Recommended Posts