Women more cautious w/ handsome men?

[Mme. Chaucer]

A callous player or a one dimensional being who is obsessed with his own looks; both are equally dismissible by women who have anything going on.

 

A player might be more skilled at hiding this undesirable trait than the person who is simply in love with his / her own looks would be, since "tricking" people is part of that territory.

 

Dude - no matter how many times you come back with this same "dilemma," the answer is the same:

 

Whether or not you are as handsome as you think you are (I bet you're not) is beside the point. A man who goes around thinking about how handsome / hot / magnetic he is would generally throw off a decidedly unattractive vibe. Other people just aren't into that.

[dasein]

To the topic, I find women to be much less cautious with handsome men, much more forgiving. I find the same is true of men giving attractive women the benefit of the doubt.

 

Just one example, could list many, I have a very good looking female acquaintance with many serious DUIs where she was driving near incapacitated, the type you see in the news driving down the wrong side of the highway and killing innocent people. I think she may have done a week of jailtime and otherwise has had the laws bent for her benefit. If she were average looking, she would be hated and locked up for years, but since she is good looking, people even sympathize with her "what a terrible sickness, she is so brave in fighting it." LOL. So yeah, by extrapolation admittedly, people are less cautious and more forgiving of good looking people.

 

IMO, people are generally much less cautious and much more forgiving of good looking people. Not making this a blame or fault statement, just a given reality of life.

[Wolf18]

What planet do all of you live on?

 

It's the less attractive men that have to bust their ass for something a very attractive looking guy would get on the first date. If girls aren't putting out for you and you are very good looking, you must be doing something horribly wrong.

[RiverRunning]

I'm definitely more cautious with a good-looking man. For one, I'm average-looking at BEST - I've got a weight problem so that basically eliminates the possibility that men I would consider stereotypically attractive will pay me any mind.

 

I would have to know him much longer than I would a less attractive guy, because my automatic thought WOULD be, "I'm going to have a lot of competition if I date him. He might have an endless throng of admirers who try to interfere in our relationship. And he's going to have a lot of options."

 

There are studies showing that men are happiest when their girlfriends are more attractive than they are. Men tend to shop up and women tend to shop down in the looks department, or at least they should according to studies if they want to be the happiest. Not saying that it can't work otherwise, but if I were to date a handsome guy - he's obviously out of my 'league,' so to speak.

 

Insecure? Sure. But that's human nature. And sometimes, that's just a matter of protecting your heart.

 

I don't necessarily believe that all good-looking guys are slick cheaters. But I think that a lifetime of growing up, getting all kinds of temptation from all kinds of women, being very certain of your looks, and having a drive for variety can definitely push a man in that direction. Why do so many politicians and famous people wind up having affairs? Because they have power and, because of that, they have options. For those reasons alone, the possibility that a good-looking guy will cheat is probably higher than an ugly guy. Ugly guys can cheat too - but going back to the "my girlfriend is prettier, therefore I'm happy," theory, they probably know their options are more limited and they should stick with what they've got.

 

I realize it's not a rosy picture, but so is life. When you have more sexual options, there's a greater propensity for moving on and with a new partner, or cheating to satisfy a desire to be with another partner but keep what you have.

 

It's biased, but that's how we all operate. If I knew a man for a long while -as a friend- and could see how he handled relationships with women and the like, and I could see that he's a genuinely GOOD person, I would be willing to go for it. But there would be some reluctance.

[the wizard]

Body language and how he says what he says.

 

Could you explain in detail your answer? Furthermore, I saw a couple of people say its bad id someone knows they look good, how do you gauge that? If a good looking person is confident in their looks and feel a sense of pride in them, that's a bad thing?

[Lil1]

How do you gauge if he's a player or not?

 

1. He propositions me to sleep with him within the first 15 minutes of talking to me.

 

2. He only calls or texts after 11 or 12 pm.

 

3. I have to be the one to always contact him.

 

4. He is cocky and over-confident.

 

5. Has waay too many girls that are friends or 'buddies'.

 

6. He never really expresses interest in my life and only talks about physical stuff with me.

 

7. His phone blows up every other minute.

 

.... This list could go on for days, but hopefully you get the picture. Obviously there would have to be many of the above red flags for me to categorize him as a player but I think the above list is a pretty solid platform for a player

[Elysian Powder]

A very attractive man can get away with behavior that would put an average man in jail. I remember a case that took place in Italy. An average-looking man in his early 30's sat in front of a woman in the train, or something. She was in her 50's and nothing to look at. Nevertheless, she took it to the authority, the belief that the man was sexually harassing her with his eyes. He was fined, with a fairly high amount to pay, and he had to serve more than 30 days in a jail.

 

The matriarchy is so powerful that most males, those who aren't Alpha, are used and treated as work horses and damned they be if they dare to look at a woman!

 

Imagine what a 18 year old woman or a young girl can do to a young man or a young boy who was unfortunate enough to not be born with the physical gifts to rise to the status of Alpha by the time he enters junior high.

 

Sexual harassment is constituted by a man who is ugly or average being in a presence of a woman; she doesn't have to look like Aaliyah to destroy the guy's life. A land whale can accuse you of inappropriately touching her and if you don't sport Twilight good looks, the judge will honestly believe that you had any interest in getting near to a whale that accosted the beach and say hello to prison rape, LOL!

 

When I was younger I was introduced to social parties which were mainly comprised of men my own age, and young women who were the daughters of my father's employees. At first, through my amicable upbringing, I treated the young women with the uttermost respect and didn't dare do anything that could be considered ''treason'' to a womans' morality(especially because they had their boyfriends there) but it didn't take long, for me to let my sexual lust for these young women to explode in later parties, after realizing that my height, my fitness, and my good-looks enabled me to put my hands on them and to do whatever I felt a fancy for, without any hint, any threat, or demonstration of a lack of interest.

 

Not only was I not accused of sexual harassment, their parents are always inquiring about my whereabouts and inviting me to do stuff with them. Their boyfriends you might be wondering? They're too afraid of dumping their girlfriends. It's far easier to replace a penis than it is, for a man, to replace a woman.

 

Obviously I cannot do this, treat women like disposable meat if they are in the 10 mark, but most women aren't 10, and their biological wiring prompts them to be faithful puppies of men like me; and who the hell am I to go against evolution?!

[Lil1]

Lil1, how many of these red flags would make you run for the hills.

 

I'm asking because i'm guilty of 3, 4 (trying to calibrate it), 5.

 

 

Well like I said before, there would have to be a combination of those traits/behaviors I listed for me to write someone off as a player. As far as your 3,4 & 5 combo... I'd say:

 

It's def. not cool if I'm the only one who is making the effort to contact him. If I'm the only one ever reaching out to him it tells me he's not really into me.

 

If he is cocky and overly confident this would only add to my feeling of "he's just toying with me" - it would indicate to me that he actually expects to be saught after because he's soooo gorgeous I can't think of too many women that would be ok with doing all the chasing, def. not for me.

 

So now add all the 'girl buddies' (I put this in quotations because these girls would be merely aquaintances but the player would of course classify them as 'buddies' or even friends) to the mix and you've got a cocktail of distrust and apathy... not only do I have to pursue him because he expects me to but now I gotta compete for his attention?! This is not a good starting point for any relationship, and certainly not something I would ever overlook no matter how hot he is.

 

If you have good intentions and good will in your heart towards someone you are romantically interested in then it will show through your actions. The above combo are the actions of someone who is not interested in pursuing a real relationship IMO.

[phineas]

What planet do all of you live on?

 

It's the less attractive men that have to bust their ass for something a very attractive looking guy would get on the first date. If girls aren't putting out for you and you are very good looking, you must be doing something horribly wrong.

 

Welcome to that 1% anomaly that is LS. LOL!

 

To be fair, most of the women here have been burned by players so their answers do not match the general population.

I've seen good looking friends message a woman on POF from their cell phone on the way to night golfing & by the 6th hole have nudes & meeting them at the vlub house in an hr.

 

Serious.

Edited November 15, 2011 by phineas

[Elysian Powder]

POF? Seriously? Tell your friends to use facebook or Hi5(for the euro dudes) and to limit their search parameters to women in the vicinity and to women in the age range of 18-25(Fcking and dumping a woman who doesn't fit in that age range is a bit dangerous as the women on those watered-down versions of craiglist are looking for a ''boyfriend'' and they'll be inclined to cry ''rape'' if you pull the disappearing act after banging them).

 

You could also pretend to belong to any University that is famous for the quality of the female student body. They won't doubt your veracity that much because Universities have a many great amount of students going in and out all day, and if you don't have to hold a student card to enter the place, your cover won't be blown.

 

Most of the women in craiglist who are interested in one-night stands or in fwbs are porkers. Use universities for what their initial purpose was!

 

To have sex LOL!

[Wolf18]

A very attractive man can get away with behavior that would put an average man in jail. I remember a case that took place in Italy. An average-looking man in his early 30's sat in front of a woman in the train, or something. She was in her 50's and nothing to look at. Nevertheless, she took it to the authority, the belief that the man was sexually harassing her with his eyes. He was fined, with a fairly high amount to pay, and he had to serve more than 30 days in a jail.

 

The matriarchy is so powerful that most males, those who aren't Alpha, are used and treated as work horses and damned they be if they dare to look at a woman!

 

Imagine what a 18 year old woman or a young girl can do to a young man or a young boy who was unfortunate enough to not be born with the physical gifts to rise to the status of Alpha by the time he enters junior high.

 

Sexual harassment is constituted by a man who is ugly or average being in a presence of a woman; she doesn't have to look like Aaliyah to destroy the guy's life. A land whale can accuse you of inappropriately touching her and if you don't sport Twilight good looks, the judge will honestly believe that you had any interest in getting near to a whale that accosted the beach and say hello to prison rape, LOL!

 

When I was younger I was introduced to social parties which were mainly comprised of men my own age, and young women who were the daughters of my father's employees. At first, through my amicable upbringing, I treated the young women with the uttermost respect and didn't dare do anything that could be considered ''treason'' to a womans' morality(especially because they had their boyfriends there) but it didn't take long, for me to let my sexual lust for these young women to explode in later parties, after realizing that my height, my fitness, and my good-looks enabled me to put my hands on them and to do whatever I felt a fancy for, without any hint, any threat, or demonstration of a lack of interest.

 

Not only was I not accused of sexual harassment, their parents are always inquiring about my whereabouts and inviting me to do stuff with them. Their boyfriends you might be wondering? They're too afraid of dumping their girlfriends. It's far easier to replace a penis than it is, for a man, to replace a woman.

 

Obviously I cannot do this, treat women like disposable meat if they are in the 10 mark, but most women aren't 10, and their biological wiring prompts them to be faithful puppies of men like me; and who the hell am I to go against evolution?!

 

 

Pretty much.

 

Some of the women here like to nag me for saying that patting a woman on the ass or even shoulders is no big deal and should not constitute a sexual assault.

 

Of course suddenly all the questions about how I don't "respect" women come into play. I see the type of guys all women are after constantly disrespecting women in public in almost cartoony and exagerrated ways, and women just giggle at it or blush. If you want respect, be respectable, but they seem to think that means being anal retentive against guys that are average looking.

 

Makes me think about Herman Cain. I can't stand the guy and think his political views are plain idiotic, but I can tell that the women sueing him for sexual harrassment really just railroaded him, shark women with shark lawyers being flirty with the boss on purpose then suddenly cha-ching! But poor ol Herman should've known a 5 figure settlement will never be enough once they taste blood.

 

Women think that being frigid with guys that aren't super hot means they aren't a slut. But if you give it up on the first date to keep Fabio interested then sorry you are no more moral for it. It's like a nun giving up broccoli for lent then patting herself on the back for it.

Edited November 16, 2011 by Wolf18

[joystickd]

1. He propositions me to sleep with him within the first 15 minutes of talking to me.

 

2. He only calls or texts after 11 or 12 pm.

 

3. I have to be the one to always contact him.

 

4. He is cocky and over-confident.

 

5. Has waay too many girls that are friends or 'buddies'.

 

6. He never really expresses interest in my life and only talks about physical stuff with me.

 

7. His phone blows up every other minute.

 

.... This list could go on for days, but hopefully you get the picture. Obviously there would have to be many of the above red flags for me to categorize him as a player but I think the above list is a pretty solid platform for a player

 

1,2,3,5 are not necessarily true.

[the wizard]

Well like I said before, there would have to be a combination of those traits/behaviors I listed for me to write someone off as a player. As far as your 3,4 & 5 combo... I'd say:

 

It's def. not cool if I'm the only one who is making the effort to contact him. If I'm the only one ever reaching out to him it tells me he's not really into me.

 

If he is cocky and overly confident this would only add to my feeling of "he's just toying with me" - it would indicate to me that he actually expects to be saught after because he's soooo gorgeous I can't think of too many women that would be ok with doing all the chasing, def. not for me.

 

So now add all the 'girl buddies' (I put this in quotations because these girls would be merely aquaintances but the player would of course classify them as 'buddies' or even friends) to the mix and you've got a cocktail of distrust and apathy... not only do I have to pursue him because he expects me to but now I gotta compete for his attention?! This is not a good starting point for any relationship, and certainly not something I would ever overlook no matter how hot he is.

 

If you have good intentions and good will in your heart towards someone you are romantically interested in then it will show through your actions. The above combo are the actions of someone who is not interested in pursuing a real relationship IMO.

 

Hmm. What your male friends? How would you feel if a man interested in you was beginning to write you off because of them?

[the wizard]

These reasons for being more cautious with A good looking guy sound a bit insecure. If hes handsome women will want to talk to him you know? It comes with thr territory. Guys have to deal with that minor issue but on a much larger scale. Also, what if the guy is showing genuine interest?

[blondike]

Sorry, I do not agree at all. Women love good-looking men. Mayhap you are not as good-looking as you think? No, women are not more cautious. I find good-looking men to be more trustworthy than less attractive guys, and goodlooking guys command attention because you want to hear what they say.

 

I just cannot imagine Robert Pattinson, Brad Pitt, George Clooney or any other good looking men having any issues with women. No, sorry.

 

I am in school and out of 60 guys in my class, 4 of them I would consider good-looking. All of my friends agree they are attractive, but we all have different ideas on who is the most goodlooking. Either way, these men are exceptional and have great bone structures, are lean, and many of them are blonde, dark-dark brunettes or black guys.

 

One goodlooking (black) guy has a new woman each week to sleep with. He even has rules about sleeping with women because he used to have stalkers.

 

Another goodlooking blonde kid has a g/f, cheated on her with a girl in the class, and still have women complimenting him.

 

Finally, the guy I think is the most attractive, a brunette, I can hardly ever talk to because there's some girl in his face every 5 seconds. There's some girl always touching his back, and rubbing his arms. So furious.

 

There's a blonde European guy, and this girl just thinks everything he says is so funny. And she puts her head in his lap, just all types of things.

 

These are traditionally handsome men.

 

So, no, I do not believe that goodlooking men have a problem with women. Women are not cautious of goodlooking men either, except when they are older b/c women look for different things then. But young women? 18-22 year old? Hell no. We love goodlooking men. Goodlooking men look good in terrible clothes; they have model faces and women notice.

Edited November 16, 2011 by blondike