chados Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 al right, my ex gf dumped me because she thought i didn't need her/cared about her. the reason for that is simple, we didn't live together but we talked every day. and when i traveled for only one week, and didn't talk to her the first 2-3 days she started to feel lonely and told me that she never missed me this much. i really think she loved me more then could imagine. two months went by and she acted like she were unhappy, she did want to talk with me, i said i wanna talk to you to. so we did, "she actually thought i was going to dump her" but i didnt. she told me she thought i didnt care about her. and i told her that i felt the same way about her. she also said that she felt i was afraid of her. "lack of confident according to me". the reason for that is that when i was feeling like she didnt appreciate me i started to pull back, not much but she noticed. and then she did the same and thought i was going to change. no one understood that everything was a misunderstanding. everything were fine until she went to another city for 1,5 week. i started to call/text her and of course BAD MISTAKE. i was starting to acting clingy and needy. and when she came back she dumped me. she cried and told me that she was feeling that i just said stuff because she told me to, i was afraid of her, didn't care. i was acting cool and said that i cant change in one week, we told each other we were going to give this a chance, its not a big problem that need to be solved. i didnt talk to her for two weeks when she asked how i was. i made it short and told her i have to go, i can speak to you another day, i texted her two days later, she answered very fast on every message , took her about 1 min. and i said i have to go now, took her 10 minutes to answer that one, and she said good luck with your training. "was going to the gym". a few days ago i texted on facebook that im going to a city, actually the city were she studies, some of my friend are going with me, and they answered my status "i want to follow". its not to meet her, my friend are going to look for a new car. i said it was either tuesday or wednesday. a friend added me on facebook today "a girl" so its tuesday , were going to the city and a girl added me on facebook. and now she texted me. what are you going to do here?. i haven't answered. i do want her back. should i answer and is she jealous? maybe thinks that i'm going to meet some girl? i know girls change their feelings quick, and sometimes they do mistakes like everyone else. sorry i tried to make it short but i couldn't. and sorry if my english are messy. thank you so much for answers!!
flitzanu Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 tough one. she dumped you saying you don't care about her, then you can't really convince her that you do. i say just go No Contact. obviously she wants you around as a safety net. she's communicating with you just enough to keep you nearby but not enough to say she wants to be with you. so quit being her friend. if you want to date her, tell her that's what you want. if it isn't what she wants right now, then move on and stop talking to her.
ChelseaLS Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 tough one. she dumped you saying you don't care about her, then you can't really convince her that you do. i say just go No Contact. obviously she wants you around as a safety net. she's communicating with you just enough to keep you nearby but not enough to say she wants to be with you. so quit being her friend. if you want to date her, tell her that's what you want. if it isn't what she wants right now, then move on and stop talking to her. I think you guys have a serious miscommunication problem... and you have from the start. Going from one extreme to the other. Do you / can you just be her friend? Does she know that you want to try the relationship again? Are you both willing to work on your communication and other issues? These need to be addressed first as you guys are all over the map.
Author chados Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 flitzanu, i agree, i just don't understand her right now, she's acting like she either miss me or that she's extremely curious about me, maybe jealous. chelsea: we do suck at communication sometimes. unfortunately we have to pay for it to. UPDATE: we talked for a while, she asked me a lot of questions about my life. she kinda asked about everything thats been happening to me the past weeks., after our talk today she's online every single minute , kinda waiting for me to answer my friend about the trip. and i know for a fact that she normally never is. i've noticed it earlier to. do any of you out there feel the need to watch every move the guy/girl you dumped made? without having any feelings what so ever for the person? or does this scream loneliness/insecureness?
Author chados Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 I think you guys have a serious miscommunication problem... and you have from the start. Going from one extreme to the other. Do you / can you just be her friend? Does she know that you want to try the relationship again? Are you both willing to work on your communication and other issues? These need to be addressed first as you guys are all over the map. i will always be her friend, but wont hang out with her. she doesn't know that i want to try again cause i'm a little bit off when i talk to her. don't wanna look needy. we told each other to work on the problem. but as you can see we never got the chance
Author chados Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 flitzanu, i agree, i just don't understand her right now, she's acting like she either miss me or that she's extremely curious about me, maybe jealous. chelsea: we do suck at communication sometimes. unfortunately we have to pay for it to. UPDATE: we talked for a while, she asked me a lot of questions about my life. she kinda asked about everything thats been happening to me the past weeks., after our talk today she's online every single minute , kinda waiting for me to answer my friend about the trip. and i know for a fact that she normally never is. i've noticed it earlier to. do any of you out there feel the need to watch every move the guy/girl you dumped made? without having any feelings what so ever for the person? or does this scream loneliness/insecureness? please anyone?
ChelseaLS Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 please anyone? If I didn't have any feelings then I wouldn't care and wouldn't be waiting and watching. I don't know that it screams lonliness or insecurities, but it she may just be missin you, or just companionship.
Author chados Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 If I didn't have any feelings then I wouldn't care and wouldn't be waiting and watching. I don't know that it screams lonliness or insecurities, but it she may just be missin you, or just companionship. thanks again for the answers chelsea. i felt so good a few days ago, and now when she contacts me, well i guess it get my hopes up. and that makes me think, what if i'm getting my hopes up for nothing. it's just that she's been online for hours on facebook, and she's probably waiting for my friend to answer me. its hard to know why she's doing this, and i really hate the feeling not knowing do you think that a woman make decisions based on her feelings one week, and don't think logical. and then regrets it next week?.
flitzanu Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 first thing, stop doing things based on how she will react or thinking it matters what she's doing. go do something for yourself and don't think about her waiting at the computer watching you. focus on you and take her out of the equation for now.
Author chados Posted November 16, 2011 Author Posted November 16, 2011 first thing, stop doing things based on how she will react or thinking it matters what she's doing. go do something for yourself and don't think about her waiting at the computer watching you. focus on you and take her out of the equation for now. i know, im just hurting myself
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