Author b_80_h Posted November 26, 2011 Author Posted November 26, 2011 You're looking at this based on your value of the R. You're projecting your value of the R on her. What are you giving up on when you don't even have it? It's not about quitting but a sense of denial that you have within you. You're masking denial as your need to not want to quit. If you want to make a final attempt, then bite the bullet and do it. Asking a forum what to do when you know you don't want to "QUIT", is futile. Sometimes we need to get that final blow before we accept the reality. If she bites, good for you. If not, try to move on and know you did all you could. Guess you're right. BCCA's right too, in that I'm kind of looking for somebody to tell me that it's a good idea so that I wont feel like I'm screwing up for following my impulses. So far, that's not working, and it's driving me nuts. More or less, I'm stubborn because I'm not gonna let her stop me from living my life. Just so happens, I have to change all my plans to avoid running into a wall with her.
BCCA Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 Guess you're right. BCCA's right too, in that I'm kind of looking for somebody to tell me that it's a good idea so that I wont feel like I'm screwing up for following my impulses. So far, that's not working, and it's driving me nuts. More or less, I'm stubborn because I'm not gonna let her stop me from living my life. Just so happens, I have to change all my plans to avoid running into a wall with her. Im not telling you anything because Im some douche that wants to piss on your cheerios, Ive just been where youre at myself, and I really wish I would have done what Im telling you to do, instead of wasting a bunch of time on stupid plans that did nothing but made me feel like s***. The bottom line is that unless she decides she made a mistake, things will never change. And nothing you do or say is going to make her come to that decision. All you can do is dust yourself off, take a little while to get over the break, and get on with your life. The longer you spend trying to figure out how youre going to contact her, and what youre going to do to lure her back, the longer its going to take you to heal. Some of us that have been her for a few years have seen people do this stuff for YEARS, and in the end - its always the same thing: the end up dissapointed and kicking themselves for wasting all this time. The sooner you can accept that its totally, 100% over, the sooner youll start to heal and feel better. The longer you hold onto hope, the longer youll live in agony and depression. Dont drag yourself through the mud indefinitely, you dont deserve that.
Author b_80_h Posted November 27, 2011 Author Posted November 27, 2011 Im not telling you anything because Im some douche that wants to piss on your cheerios, Ive just been where youre at myself, and I really wish I would have done what Im telling you to do, instead of wasting a bunch of time on stupid plans that did nothing but made me feel like s***. The bottom line is that unless she decides she made a mistake, things will never change. And nothing you do or say is going to make her come to that decision. All you can do is dust yourself off, take a little while to get over the break, and get on with your life. The longer you spend trying to figure out how youre going to contact her, and what youre going to do to lure her back, the longer its going to take you to heal. Some of us that have been her for a few years have seen people do this stuff for YEARS, and in the end - its always the same thing: the end up dissapointed and kicking themselves for wasting all this time. The sooner you can accept that its totally, 100% over, the sooner youll start to heal and feel better. The longer you hold onto hope, the longer youll live in agony and depression. Dont drag yourself through the mud indefinitely, you dont deserve that. I get what you're saying, and I do appreciate the sternness. Unfortunately, I wrecked a lot of my life over this, so it's been important to me to rebuild. I spent a couple months ruining everything because I was so depressed without her. At this point, I just want to go back to the university, get in shape for another football season, and go back to living life. I'm not gonna be swayed from that at this point, no matter where my ex goes. I guess the thing I'm trying to figure out is how to expedite the healing process a little more. I want to be strong enough to live my own life and forget about her, and I could really use some pointers on that.
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