youppi666 Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 (edited) I recently dated a girl and we got along very well and liked the same things. We went on 3 dates and the third time, we kissed at the end. Later, we had our respectives midterms weeks but kept in contact via chat and she was specific that we were going to sleep together after our midterms. Throughout, we always had fun chatting or talking and we are alike. She said during and after the dating that she never knew anyone more like her and it's true, i feel the same way. Then after the 3 weeks of our midterms, I asked her again. She initially told me she was confused for a while during the last week. But later she told me she met someone (I know that person) during that time and quickly they started going out together. I know she wasn't dating us at the same time, it was after. All my mutual friends think this won't last as the guy is extremly pushy (fb official before sleeping with her and after only 3 weeks of the first meeting) and she's independant and he's green. She knows the way this happened (out of the blue) surprised and hurt me (we chatted about it a couple of times). I still have to see her and him about once a month with mutual friends because of some project. I had a lot of time to think and I believe from reading old fb conversations that she might have felt I wasn't a challenge maybe because she asked if I was still seeing this girl I was seeing before and I gave a big denial. It was right about the time she met the other guy and her friend liked this guy but he wasn't interested. If I limit contact (outside a project we are in), try to get her to know by mutual friends that I see other girls and wait for her couple to implode. Do I have a good shot at getting her back to dating where we left? Last time I saw her, we were kissing and she was specific about what was going to happen, it's not like I made a irreversible mistake along the way? Edited November 15, 2011 by youppi666
ErgoStep Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Relationships are fluid. Anything could happen. Yet still. If she's tracking with this other guy she's obviously not with you, so maybe you should get out there and find another woman or three. Date around a little.
Eeyore79 Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 All my mutual friends think this won't last as the guy is extremly pushy (fb official before sleeping with her and after only 3 weeks of the first meeting) I don't see how this is pushy. If a guy is willing to be in a serious relationship before having sex, to me that speaks volumes about his genuine feelings for the girl in question. Also how do you know they hadn't had sex? I'm sure she didn't call you and tell you the date that she did it with her new boyfriend! I don't think three weeks is too soon to be official either - she probably loves that he's willing to declare their relationship to the world right away. Imo you lost her because this other guy was offering her a relationship and you were only offering dates.
Author youppi666 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 Well nobody answered my main question if I can get her back when she's single again. To answer some questions that were raised. - I am the one who couldn't see her during our midterms for the most part. But still we talked a lot. - I know she didn't sleep with him, hes very religious (they argue about that) and inexperienced and mutual friends told me that and I believe it. He's also one year younger than her. - She absolutely freaked out about the fb official and was "forced", she's very self conscious about her fb image and I never thought she was someone who would like to be fb official with anyone let alone this quick. She talked about this for 10 minutes to a mutual friend that it scared her. - I know that there are other women, my question is if you think I have a chance when she's single again. Like I said, last time I saw her we were kisisng and she followed up in fb conversations.
Andy_K Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 It's not like I made a irreversible mistake along the way? Not sealing the deal when you have the opportunity is an irreversible mistake. Let's put it this way. If she explicitly says she wants to have sex with you in three weeks time, she's also willing to have sex with you about three weeks earlier than that I mean let's face it... if she had time to meet and start dating some other guy during that time, why weren't you the one meeting her instead? You'd probably even get bonus points for the chemistry between you being so good you had to have sex spontaneously rather than waiting the three weeks. Also, for any girls reading: This is the reason guys are often pushy about sex. We've all learnt the hard way that most of the time if we don't get it, someone else soon will.
Andy_K Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Well nobody answered my main question if I can get her back when she's single again. 'If' she's single again soon then yes. Just go off the radar until that happens, and then when the coast is clear you make your reappearance. You still have a chance, it's just no longer under your control
Eeyore79 Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 - I am the one who couldn't see her during our midterms for the most part. But still we talked a lot. A lot of women believe that if he's not calling you or asking you out, he's just not that into you. You cut her off for three weeks during your midterms, which is a huge red flag - a guy who is genuinely into you will always make time for you even when he's busy. You showed yourself to be unreliable, and probably not that interested... at the same time another guy came along and strongly expressed his interest in her. I'm not surprised that she picked him and dumped you; a guy who cuts contact for three weeks for any reason is not a keeper. I know that there are other women, my question is if you think I have a chance when she's single again. Like I said, last time I saw her we were kisisng and she followed up in fb conversations. I'm guessing that she's pretty much ruled you out since you cut contact for three weeks. A guy who's genuinely interested wouldn't do that. She might be available for a rebound if she breaks up with this other guy, but he sounds extremely keen so I wouldn't hold my breath.
Recommended Posts