Back together with my ex... he slept with someone

[hustlerose]

So me and my boyfriend were broken up for 2 months after being together for a year. I found out 2 weeks ago he was sleeping with someone else during the time we were broken up. I texted him asking if our time together meant nothing and how he could move on so quickly, he said she meant nothing and that he still missed me and loved me and all it was to him was sex and trying to get over me. The conversation somehow led to me asking for him to see me and try and work on things. I told him now or never because I wasn't waiting around another 2 months while he slept with more girls.

 

We met for drinks the next day and he was all over me, touching me, kissing me. He had specifically said before this date we were just going to see eachother, nothing serious and just see where things went. Well when we met again the next day, he asked me to be his girlfriend again. I said yes. We've spent almost everyday these past 2 weeks with eachother. I feel like I can move on from him sleeping with someone else because I know the type of person he is and if he wanted to be with her, he would be with her b/c she wanted to date him (heard this from numerous people) and if he wanted to they would be dating right now. But he did come back to me and ask me to be his girlfriend again immidiately. And I wasn't exactly sitting at home every night waiting for his call even though I never slept with anyone.

 

Before we broke up we were always best friends. I felt so comfortable with him, but we had problems. He has major jealousy issues and is very controlling. We lived together and he is my first and only love. Now that we've been apart I don't know what I'm feeling. I know I still love him with all my heart but the way he's been treating me since we got back together is not right.

 

He is constantly asking me if I'm talking to other men (I'm not and have told him this again and again) which causes me to get angry and bring up the fact that he slept with someone else. He takes no blame in any of our problems during the relationship. He constantly tells me I did him wrong and that him sleeping with someone else was him "getting even" with me for what I did in the relationship (even though I never even talked to ANY guys while we were together). He threatens to break up with me almost everyday over us fighting, and I agree the fighting needs to stop but he doesn't realize he causes most of our fighting by being so controlling and paranoid (or he doesn't care).

 

I don't know what I'm feeling right now but it doesn't feel like he's my best friend anymore. I feel like I have to watch what I say around him and need a couple drinks to feel comfortable being myself now. I'm feeling very insecure and it's not even over him sleeping with someone else. It's the fact that he keeps threatening to leave me. Being broken up with him was the most painful, heartbreaking thing I've ever gone through. And even though it feels bad right now it doesn't feel as bad as it did to be away from him.

 

I just wanna get past this point and get back to where we were. How do I do that? How do I make him stop threatening to leave me and questioning me about other guys? I always ask him to stop and tell him how much it hurts me but he doesn't seem to care or see his part in anything. I want this to work so badly between us. I feel like he is the person I want to be with forever and that's why I feel so insecure right now. I just don't wanna say or do the wrong thing and have him leave me again. Everytime he threatens to break up with me I feel more and more insecure. I can't imagine life without him again, it was hell. What should I do to open his eyes? He always says how much he loves me, I'm the only person he wants to be with, he missed me so much but then he threatens to break up with me. I need advice and help. I can't talk to my family or friends about this because they all hate him. I don't plan on breaking up with him even if that is what I should do. I need advice about rebuilding this relationship and being happy together again and stopping this insecurity (on both sides). Any advice is greatly appreciated.

[ChelseaLS]

I don't think it's a good idea to hop back into it full force spending so much time together. I think it needs to go slow still. I think it needs to be made apparent to him that it needs to start fresh... no past arguments or issues should be brought up (including who he slept with while you were apart... it was clearly a rebound).

He needs to get a grasp on his insecurity. Perhaps some counselling?

You need to remember for your relationship to work, it can't be back where it was before... because that didn't work, you broke up. It needs to be new. You need to be strong and confident, you can't settle just because you don't want him to leave you. These insecurity issues are his and his alone.. no one can fix those other then him. And thats goes the same for you.

I also think its very important to have separate lives within your relationship (which should prove to be trying due to both your insecurity issues). YOu need time with your friends or just the girls, and him with his buddies.

 

Good Luck!

[hustlerose]

I've actually been really good about not bringing up the fact that he slept with someone else. I know in my heart it was nothing more than a rebound and I know he really does love me. If I didn't feel like he loved me as much as I love him I wouldn't be trying to make this work. I think our whole problem is we love eachother so much but we both have so many issues. We're both right-fighters, he can't leave things in the past and that drives me to bring up things he's done to me. He accuses me of talking to other guys so much that I feel like I HAVE to bring up the fact he slept with someone else cuz if I don't then what does that say about me? Yeah, you can walk all over me and be mad that I talked to other guys while we were broken up but you HAD SEX with someone and everytime I bring it up you threaten to leave me??

 

I think counselling is a really good idea, the problem is getting him to go and neither of us are covered for it. I hate fighting with him and feeling this way. I just want him to stop bringing up other guys and listen to me when I tell him he has blame in the situation too. I've accepted my part in the break up (I had a big part in it, but so did he) and I'm really trying now. If he could just stop being so jealous for no reason we would probably not fight about 95% of the time. How do I tell him this or work on changing this? And make him stop threatening me with breaking up? I love him so much and he is worth trying to make this work.

[ChelseaLS]

I've actually been really good about not bringing up the fact that he slept with someone else. I know in my heart it was nothing more than a rebound and I know he really does love me. If I didn't feel like he loved me as much as I love him I wouldn't be trying to make this work. I think our whole problem is we love eachother so much but we both have so many issues. We're both right-fighters, he can't leave things in the past and that drives me to bring up things he's done to me. He accuses me of talking to other guys so much that I feel like I HAVE to bring up the fact he slept with someone else cuz if I don't then what does that say about me? Yeah, you can walk all over me and be mad that I talked to other guys while we were broken up but you HAD SEX with someone and everytime I bring it up you threaten to leave me??

 

I think counselling is a really good idea, the problem is getting him to go and neither of us are covered for it. I hate fighting with him and feeling this way. I just want him to stop bringing up other guys and listen to me when I tell him he has blame in the situation too. I've accepted my part in the break up (I had a big part in it, but so did he) and I'm really trying now. If he could just stop being so jealous for no reason we would probably not fight about 95% of the time. How do I tell him this or work on changing this? And make him stop threatening me with breaking up? I love him so much and he is worth trying to make this work.

 

Well I know there is low cost and free councelling places out there. Many religious organizations offer free councelling... if you don't mind the religion part or can look past it. Pull up google and see what you can find in your area.

 

Gently I would sit your bf down and tell him that inorder for this relationship not to fall back into it's rut and eventually end again, you both (and mention both) have areas to work on. Ask him what areas he thinks you need to work on and then you can tell him things that you think he should... ie insecurities. Its like a hug with a punch. Kind but honest.

 

Is he jealous if you guys are out and you are talking to other men? Or does he just have a made up idea in his head that you are talking to other men in secret?

[nu464]

its tough but MOVE ON! seeing someone behind your back? hookup right away after a relationship?? what you did was fine, he is the one being a dick! seems like you can do better,,,i mean if you get back together with him whats to stop him from doing this again??

[ChelseaLS]

nu464... if it is broken up... is it not broken up? she could be out with whomever she wants and vice versa. She chose not too and he did. They broke up, its behind no ones back.

[NordicStripes]

Hi,

my situation is almost the same. My bf broke up with me after three years, slept with someone else a couple of times (immediately after the breakup) and then came to the conclusion that he loves me, and wants me back and make things work. He even moved to another country for me.

 

While we were together, I was the jealous one, because I had been cheated on in the past by another ex-boyfriend. I admit that had a lot to do with the breakup, but he had his part in it as well. He would never put me in first place and would constantly ditch me to hang out with his friends, even when we had made plans. He says that he was fleeing, and that was his reaction, albeit a stupid one. He says the fact that he slept with the other girl was also just because he thought it would help him forget about me. And that he didn't care about her at all. Whatever.

 

The thing is, he's here now. And we're still not together. Because I want to be sure of what I'm getting into. He is behaving quite jealous now about the fact that I had been flirting with someone while we've been broken up. He gets really angry about that. And I also then have to bring up the fact that flirting with some guy doesn't exactly compare to sleeping with another girl only a couple of days after the breakup!!!

 

We get into huuuuuge fights!!!!

 

The thing is, the fact that he slept with someone else disgusts me. I keep seeing these images in my head and they are killing me!!

But I know that he really loves me and that he really want to make this work. And I still love him as well, I think. Apart from the problems we had, we were perfect together...

 

I think it's really good of you that you are able to see past him sleeping with someone else and that you can focus on the fact that he loves you.I wish I could do that too

 

Bit of background: we met three years ago and we moved in together after 3 weeks of knowing eachother. I'm his first girlfriend (he had slept with some random girl before me, twice). I had a serious relationship before him (but 3 years of celibacy in between my ex and him).

I'm 25, he is 23 (almost 24).

[ChelseaLS]

Hi,

my situation is almost the same. My bf broke up with me after three years, slept with someone else a couple of times (immediately after the breakup) and then came to the conclusion that he loves me, and wants me back and make things work. He even moved to another country for me.

 

While we were together, I was the jealous one, because I had been cheated on in the past by another ex-boyfriend. I admit that had a lot to do with the breakup, but he had his part in it as well. He would never put me in first place and would constantly ditch me to hang out with his friends, even when we had made plans. He says that he was fleeing, and that was his reaction, albeit a stupid one. He says the fact that he slept with the other girl was also just because he thought it would help him forget about me. And that he didn't care about her at all. Whatever.

 

The thing is, he's here now. And we're still not together. Because I want to be sure of what I'm getting into. He is behaving quite jealous now about the fact that I had been flirting with someone while we've been broken up. He gets really angry about that. And I also then have to bring up the fact that flirting with some guy doesn't exactly compare to sleeping with another girl only a couple of days after the breakup!!!

 

We get into huuuuuge fights!!!!

 

The thing is, the fact that he slept with someone else disgusts me. I keep seeing these images in my head and they are killing me!!

But I know that he really loves me and that he really want to make this work. And I still love him as well, I think. Apart from the problems we had, we were perfect together...

 

I think it's really good of you that you are able to see past him sleeping with someone else and that you can focus on the fact that he loves you.I wish I could do that too

 

Bit of background: we met three years ago and we moved in together after 3 weeks of knowing eachother. I'm his first girlfriend (he had slept with some random girl before me, twice). I had a serious relationship before him (but 3 years of celibacy in between my ex and him).

I'm 25, he is 23 (almost 24).

 

 

I understand that it disgusts you both (as I would feel the same), but regardless of how quickly he slept with someone, you guys were broken up. Like I said before, you both could have been out there doing the same, but you choose not too (as I wouldn't be able to either).

 

It's one of those things that need to be left in the past when you reconcile. There should be no crap brought up from the past. It needs to be a fresh, new start.

[stillafool]

I don't feel it is fair to fault him for having sex with other women during your BREAK UP. Afterall, you were broke up. If you want to move on then do so by not bringing up the past. Forgive each other and move forward.

[hustlerose]

NordicStripes - I know it's tough and I have those thoughts too. I have to block them out and now that it's been 2 weeks since finding out it doesn't feel like a punch to the gut everytime I think about it like it did in the beginning (still disgusts me though). I keep telling myself that in order for our relationship to work I can't dwell on it. He is with me and he only wants me. It sounds like your boyfriend was very understanding of your jealousy issues during the relationship and now it is time to try and put those issues aside if you really want it to work. It sounds like he does really love you.

 

The main thing you have to think about is that he is with YOU! He's not out there searching for another girl to sleep with or continuing to sleep with the other girl. He is with you. If he didn't want to be with you, he would not have come back to you and he would not tell you he loves you and want to make it work.

 

I know my boyfriend and I know he would never cheat on me. He never did during our relationship and he certainly wouldn't now that we're back together. Again, my bf is the type of person where things are black and white. If you're with someone, you are with them because you love them and only want to be with them. It sounds like your ex is the same way, especially if you are his first and only love (sounds like you are).

 

And also, the reason why our bf's are constantly asking us about other men is because they went out and found the first easy thing to sleep with. They know how easy it is for women to sleep with someone if we are so inclined. Infact I did go out on dates while we were broken up and 2 different guys were interested in starting something with me (he will never know that lol). But that made me realize I only wanted my ex and not them. So I look at it in the sense that even though I didn't sleep with someone, I was definitely playing the field and I'm not innocent just as you are probably not either.

 

And it's also alot different for men. They can sleep with someone they aren't even attracted to just to have sex. They can do it without emotion whereas most women can't. I know I would be more hurt if my ex had feelings for someone and was potentially going to date them rather than him just having casual sex with someone.

 

All I can say to you is it meant nothing to him, it's obvious. You're the one he wants and just feel confident in yourself and him and your relationship to believe it.

[NordicStripes]

NordicStripes - I know it's tough and I have those thoughts too. I have to block them out and now that it's been 2 weeks since finding out it doesn't feel like a punch to the gut everytime I think about it like it did in the beginning (still disgusts me though). I keep telling myself that in order for our relationship to work I can't dwell on it. He is with me and he only wants me. It sounds like your boyfriend was very understanding of your jealousy issues during the relationship and now it is time to try and put those issues aside if you really want it to work. It sounds like he does really love you.

 

It's been almost three months since finding out for me. Like you, it's not so much a punch in the stomach anymore, but I'm still hurt deeply by it. And I keep wondering how on earth he could do that so quickly after the breakup, it merely took him a couple of days!

He wants me, and only me, but did it really have to take all that for him to realize that? What does that mean? He had to test other waters first? To be honest, he wasn't that understanding of my jealousy-issues. He tried to be at first, then it became a cause for argument for a very very long time. When he broke up with me he actually said that was the reason why. Afterwards, he said that he had been wrong, and that a lot of other things had to do with that as well.

 

The main thing you have to think about is that he is with YOU! He's not out there searching for another girl to sleep with or continuing to sleep with the other girl. He is with you. If he didn't want to be with you, he would not have come back to you and he would not tell you he loves you and want to make it work.

 

I know.

 

I know my boyfriend and I know he would never cheat on me. He never did during our relationship and he certainly wouldn't now that we're back together. Again, my bf is the type of person where things are black and white. If you're with someone, you are with them because you love them and only want to be with them. It sounds like your ex is the same way, especially if you are his first and only love (sounds like you are).

 

Not to be rude, but how do you know that? I mean, the fact is that he slept with that colleague of him only a couple of days after we broke up. So I can't help but think there must have been some flirtations going on prior to us breaking up. Not actually being with her, but having the intention to, is like cheating to me.

And also, the reason why our bf's are constantly asking us about other men is because they went out and found the first easy thing to sleep with.

 

Oh I think you're definitely right there!

 

They know how easy it is for women to sleep with someone if we are so inclined. Infact I did go out on dates while we were broken up and 2 different guys were interested in starting something with me (he will never know that lol). But that made me realize I only wanted my ex and not them. So I look at it in the sense that even though I didn't sleep with someone, I was definitely playing the field and I'm not innocent just as you are probably not either.

 

Yes, I did go out with a boy and had been flirting with a long time friend of mine. But I didn't do that with the intention of anything more (ie. sex or relationship) happening. I only did that because I genuinly liked the guy, and as my ex had clearly moved on from me so quickly, I figured I should too. I know it would take me a long long time to able to have another relationship. The only thing here you and I differ in this, is that it didn't make me realize I only want my ex...

 

And it's also alot different for men. They can sleep with someone they aren't even attracted to just to have sex. They can do it without emotion whereas most women can't. I know I would be more hurt if my ex had feelings for someone and was potentially going to date them rather than him just having casual sex with someone.

 

I know what you're saying. And I've seen the colleague he slept with, and well, to be honest she's butt-ugly So that's a bit sad for him really. But I just can't get my head around emotionless sex!!! And the idea of him putting his thing in her thing... urgh!!! completely and utterly disgusting!

 

All I can say to you is it meant nothing to him, it's obvious. You're the one he wants and just feel confident in yourself and him and your relationship to believe it.

 

Thank you for taking the time to write this post. You have no idea how much it means for me to have someone who actually understands how I'm feeling. I don't have much confident in us ever being together again, to be honest. I'm just testing the waters and seeing if he can really make the changes necessary in the long run. On top of that, my mum absolutely hates him and he will never be welcome in her house again. She's certain that he'll just leave me again once another woman gives him some attention....

 

How are thing going between you and your boyfriend?

[citrusdrop1688]

I think that would be incredibly difficult. I know if my ex had slept with someone else there is no way we would be where we are now. It would be all I could think about... unless we waited long enough to try again that we honestly were completely over each other. I also think part of the problem is only one of you slept with someone else. If both had i think it would be easier to let it go. Now it will always be there.

 

I also think another big problem is that you guys did jump directly back into a relationship, and back into spending every day together. My ex and I have been trying very hard not to move too fast and to make sure that we are interacting differently then we used to before we get back together. We dont want to get back into the relationship we had before... it didnt work or we never would have broken up. So we are trying to build something new.

 

This is especially important for you, since you seem to indicate that its actually worse, you dont want to rebuild it for it to be more dysfunctional then it was before. If its not working yet, that may mean its too soon. My ex and I broke up in January, and we tried dating in March, and June, and both times it was just too soon, we hadnt moved on enough to let go of the old bull****.

 

This last time we both also dated other people, although neither of us slept with anyone, since we knew that would mean there was probably no way we would get back together... We had to be SURE we were done before either of us did that, although neither one of us actually discussed it. It was also the longest period we went without speaking. Three months.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

He is abusing you emotionally and playing on your vulnerability.

 

 

However, you have zero right to even contemplate, let alone bring-up anything he did when you were not officially coupled. It doesn't matter if he met and shagged someone two days later - it isn't your business, and the timing of that 2 days, or 2 months, means nothing.

 

Down the line you are going to rue the day you ever got together with somebody who is clearly manipulative and abusive, and the best thing for your long-term future would be to leave him.

 

Alas, since you don't want to do that... you can at least independently train your own mind to DROP the details and the data about his having been with others while you were broken-up. Most of any true satisfaction you're going to get from the relationship will come from within YOU, and NOT from him.

 

For that reason, you need to drop the dumb thoughts about whatever he did or didn't do when you were uncoupled, and free that part of your mind to dedicate yourself to him and slowly find your normal state again.

[hustlerose]

Well me and my ex are now broken up again as of yesterday so clearly it was too soon. Yup, we lasted a whole 2 weeks!! He had been rude to me from the start of the night Saturday, saying I talked too loud, saying he was going to leave me at boston pizza, driving me back to my car. Finally he said that "the fighting needs to stop" when we were back at my car. I asked him what more I could do to make him happy. Since we got back together I've been trying to show him I've changed. I do nice things for him everytime we're together and try to keep the conversation light and away from arguing. HE starts the arguments!!!

 

Well Saturday night after we had decided I wasn't going to leave we ended up going to his friends house. My manager at work called me because I had accidently pocket dialed him and he flipped out saying "oh ya so you don't talk to any guys right??" Even HIS friends said they couldn't believe how rude he was being to me, that he wasn't being himself.

 

On the ride going home I was drunk and basically let it all out about the way I felt for the first time. I told him that the way he treated me was horrible, maybe he should go back to the girl he had been ****ing since she might be more willing to deal with his ****, that I deserved better than what he was giving me and that he wasn't even really trying.

 

We went to bed and in the morning I had kind of forgotten what happened the night before because I was drunk. We were supposed to go swimming Sunday and he said he was going to his friends house instead. I asked him how he thought that was ok because he would lose it if I cancelled plans with him for my friends. He drove me back to my car and basically told me that he didn't think it was going to work, that he thought I HAD CHANGED but clearly I hadn't!!! Which is just laughable considering how hard I have been trying. He told me he couldn't take the fighting anymore and that it was best we not be together. As I was leaving we both agreed that we would see eachother in a few days so I could get the rest of my things at his house.

 

When I got home I texted him asking why he even bothered these passed 2 weeks to tell me he loves me, wants to be with me forever, and ask me to be his girlfriend again if he was just gonna give up after 2 weeks. He said "to try and make it work but it doesn't seem to everytime." I then texted him saying if me and the relationship meant anything to him this wouldn't be happening. He would be trying instead of giving up. That it was pointless we even got back together and it was beyond stupid that he even asked me to be his girlfriend again. He didn't say anything.

 

So here I am again, alone, crushed and pissed off that he slept with someone else yet still blames me for everything. I'm seeing him tomorrow to get my things and I don't know what I should say or do?? It seems pointless to keep chasing after him if he is just gonna leave me again and again. I really don't understand what goes through his mind. One minute he loves me, is so happy I'm back in his life, wants us to get married and have kids, and then the next he's leaving me again after not even really trying. What should I do tomorrow???? I'm heart broken again.

[hustlerose]

SincereOnlineGuy - I do feel like he is very controlling and manipulative. It's not right the way he treats me.

 

I actually was getting to the point of thinking about him with another girl less and less, and I NEVER brought it up because I knew the fight it would cause but then he has to throw other guys in my face. It probably is for the best that we're broken up again but it just hurts so much. It's like he builds me up just to knock me down. I hate this feeling.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

he was going to leave me at boston pizza

 

 

You passed up the opportunity of a lifetime - to pay further attention to someone who manipulates and abuses you.

 

(the 'stances' he takes when interacting with you assure that HE would be your biggest problem on this earth if indeed you remained with him romantically)

 

Now is your chance to begin anew. Start envisioning yourself with a new and respectful guy in a few months, and for now, go back to the Boston Pizza and find the part of the menu where you create your own pasta, and order something from there.

[twinkles]

Dump this guy now. One day he is going to take is anger out on you. He's got alot of nerve questioning you about talking with other men when days after your split he's with someone else.

 

Trust me on this one, his anger and jealousy will only get worse over time. Love yourself and leave. Find someone who loves you just as you are.

[loveburden]

he obviuosly feels guilt over sleeping with someone else but is not willing to admit it, its easier for him to put the blame on you. he wants to make you insecure so that you don't leave him, so that you do what he says when he says it.. the fact that he is asking you if u are talking to other girls shows that he is obviously doing the wrong thing.

 

i am in the same boat as you, insecure as hell because my partner is threating to leave me aswell. the only way to feel confident in this relationship is to be confident in yourself and what you want. this guy can't give that to you, only you can.

[Zabs]

Wipe your tears girly...and put on your thinking hat!

 

WHY do you THINK he keeps doing what he is doing?

 

What is the ONE thing that someone is afraid of if they have broken 'the bond'?

 

The FACT that if you CHOSE to you could do the same and they would HAVE to forgive you. It seems there is a conflict at play here. There is no way he would forgive you of the same..no matter WHATt the circumstances..yet here he is expecting that same thing of you?

 

He KNOWS you are of stronger stuff and it burns him that he could not manage without the company of another..albeit a rebound...

 

When he puts you through the cycle...he gets the reassurance that you still love him, exclusively, and zero responsibility for being an ass. He can play that tune as long as he likes..until it is too painful to bear...and then come back saying you are the woman of his dreams. It is solely the fact he cannot reconcile with himself and shows his level of maturity at the same speed.

 

It is only insecure people that break bonds IMHO. I have been accused day in day out of same thing...but at the end of the day..if I was REALLY sleeping with all and sundry... WHY would he come back? It's a smoke screen for what's really going down!

 

Chill out...spend sometime preening yourself and appreciating the person you are...divert at all times possible to thoughts or preoccupying times of him..and consider yourself...begin to see yourself more as a predator and less as prey and your actions will follow suit. You will not behave like a crazy gazelle in the deep green...more like a Lion (male...as the females do all the hard work) Top of the food chain...your personal space is your own..you will not be deterred by enemies..blah de blah...

 

It is a great psychological trick that makes your mind believe you are the all powerful, dominant, commanding etc..character you NEED to be to get through times like this...Persevere...and see what happens...

 

Much love,

 

Zabs xx:cool:

[hustlerose]

Wipe your tears girly...and put on your thinking hat!

 

WHY do you THINK he keeps doing what he is doing?

 

What is the ONE thing that someone is afraid of if they have broken 'the bond'?

 

The FACT that if you CHOSE to you could do the same and they would HAVE to forgive you. It seems there is a conflict at play here. There is no way he would forgive you of the same..no matter WHATt the circumstances..yet here he is expecting that same thing of you?

 

He KNOWS you are of stronger stuff and it burns him that he could not manage without the company of another..albeit a rebound...

 

When he puts you through the cycle...he gets the reassurance that you still love him, exclusively, and zero responsibility for being an ass. He can play that tune as long as he likes..until it is too painful to bear...and then come back saying you are the woman of his dreams. It is solely the fact he cannot reconcile with himself and shows his level of maturity at the same speed.

 

It is only insecure people that break bonds IMHO. I have been accused day in day out of same thing...but at the end of the day..if I was REALLY sleeping with all and sundry... WHY would he come back? It's a smoke screen for what's really going down!

 

Chill out...spend sometime preening yourself and appreciating the person you are...divert at all times possible to thoughts or preoccupying times of him..and consider yourself...begin to see yourself more as a predator and less as prey and your actions will follow suit. You will not behave like a crazy gazelle in the deep green...more like a Lion (male...as the females do all the hard work) Top of the food chain...your personal space is your own..you will not be deterred by enemies..blah de blah...

 

It is a great psychological trick that makes your mind believe you are the all powerful, dominant, commanding etc..character you NEED to be to get through times like this...Persevere...and see what happens...

 

Much love,

 

Zabs xx:cool:

 

Very true words and infact I think I am gonna start thinking like that. I texted him telling him I was going to the movies tonight so he would have to give me my things before or after that. AND HE FLIPPED!!! He said "Oh you're so in interested in me but you're going to the movies the next day. Have fun bitch go get your things yourself" and then we got into an argument and I asked him why he even cared since he didn't want to be together! Like I'm just supposed to wait around all night to hear from him! And then he said "Yeah so you don't want to me **** anyone else!! We'll see." I told him I'd just go get it myself on thurs and there was no response so I think he's a little upset!

 

He is truly physco!! He didn't even care to ask if I was going to the movies with a guy or a girl. And it's just funny he doesn't want to be together but he's pissed off that I'm going to the movies with someone else??? What is that!! He doesn't make any sense but I'm not gonna worry about it anymore. He just likes to manipulate me and hurt me. He's messed in the head!

Edited November 22, 2011 by hustlerose