Author jib Posted November 17, 2011 Author Posted November 17, 2011 Thank you very much for all your input, advice and experience, I appreciate it very much! I talked with the bf last night and basically expressed that I felt like he cared more about how others viewed him than about my feelings regarding my style of dress. In this regard, I felt like much of your posts were true in that he is essentially asking me to change a part of myself that wasn't really wrong just to impress others. He admitted this as well. I sometimes also feel like perhaps it isn't me that he likes but the idea of a girlfriend, someone who can be in the kitchen, but is also pretty/respectable enough to take out and about. In this regard, I feel like I need to give our relationship some serious thought. For the record, I am pretty open to seeing what he likes once we get a chance to go shopping together, because it isn't like he is requesting that I wear really low cut tops or mini skirts. However, in accordance to what many of you stated, I think I will wear what he likes occasionally. I also expressed this to him. He said that he felt bad that I was going through so much struggle with regards to his request of dressing style and asked me to request things of him. I couldn't really come up with anything, except that I wished that if he requested me to dress up for an event he do the same. If I take the time and effort to look nice, I think it is more than fair to ask him to take some time and effort as well, not just the regular jeans and t-shirt. Any other thoughts, suggestions, comments would be appreciated! =)
Els Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 Great to hear that you both managed to work things out, and that you seem to have reached a decent compromise. All the best
norajane Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 I sometimes also feel like perhaps it isn't me that he likes but the idea of a girlfriend, someone who can be in the kitchen, but is also pretty/respectable enough to take out and about. In this regard, I feel like I need to give our relationship some serious thought. Be open with him about the kind of relationship you want to have, and ask him what he thinks a good relationship looks like. You shared your thoughts about the clothes, and were able to negotiate a shared understanding about it. Share your ideas about relationships, and see what you work out together.
fallenenvy Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 The OP has left a horrible taste in my mouth. I once dated a guy that wanted me to change how i dressed. He wanted me to wear (and i quote exactly what he said) "girly clothes". IE lots of pink.. and i loathhh pink.. and skirts.. hate those too.. and no more black.. sorry i like black.. its slimming. From there.. he wanted to control what video games i played.. how much i knew about computers ( i was a bit of a geek).. got mad i was a descent musician when he was tone death.. didn't want me listening to the music i liked... Then it was how i talked.. everything from what i said to the voice/tone i used to say it. He was trying to turn me into a cute pink wearing brainless house wife. He tried to stop me from going to college and having a job so he could "take care of me" when he couldn't even hold a job himself. Then... surprise surprise somewhere along the way he started beating the **** outa me when i didn't act/dress/do the activities exactly the way he wanted. i wasn't a "cute girly girl" like he expected me to be. Relationships are give and take to an extent but at the same time you should date someone you like not find someone to date and try to MAKE them someone you like. I don't think the guy the OP mentioned is the same as my worthless basard but at the same time demanding someone dress differently to match what they want is controlling at best... especially when the guy won't explain what it is he wants.. its almost like hes setting her up to fail and "embarrass" him.
FitChick Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 It works for some couples. Elizabeth Hurley made over her man and is now engaged to him.
thatone Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 It works for some couples. Elizabeth Hurley made over her man and is now engaged to him. dear lord, he looks like her. how embarrassing that must be...
Els Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 dear lord, he looks like her. how embarrassing that must be... ROFL I so second this. The man looks gay in his recent photos...
Recommended Posts