Coping With a serious 5 yr Relationship Break up/ and new man in my ex gf life.

[gomezo.2007]

Where do I begin, first of all I would like to say I would have never thought I would be typing in these forums and now here I am because though I cant cope with the break up, it gets easier each day. I am 23 years old going to college in Denver and was with this sweet girl for 5 years high school sweet heart. Began dating our senior year in high school and had the biggest crush on me but never told me and I was into other girls ha. But one day I passed her at a walmart and said hi to her and right when I went to leave the door my mind tripped and was asking myself why not ask this girl out on a date and never thought I would fall for her hard and smile thinking of her but since then we been together till now. It lasted for 5 years well it would have been 5 years in December 22nd. But close enough. She was a sweet but hard headed prideful girl, but I loved everything about her and even she had faults I always told her that I loved her enough that I would put up with it all because as long as we talked about the problems forgave each other and love was there tomorrow would bring better days.

 

Well we began dating and was all great for a year and then began to take falls slowly, and it was a small town hour and a half from denver from which we were from and well it all began to take falls mainly with family issues not really our issues. We graduated in 2007 and we were soooo in love and sit on the steps in a summer small town at her house laugh and watch the stars and wondered where we would be and we would say well imma be old and well you would be pushing me in a wheel chair because the males usually wear out fast and laughed and she was surprised that when we would talk about the future my first bought car would be a family suv not a sports car because I came from a family that didnt show much loving around and I always promised to be a father to my kids one day over finishing school. I would always have her walk in the inside of the side walks she always wondered why I use to tell her because if a car one day comes and drives into the side walk i would rather get hit than you and she found that sweet. We went through many great times and she was my first serious relationship and prided myself having my virginity and lost it to her and well of course like others they get attached.

 

We had more family issues than anything because I remember when she needed to move back to her parents place because college was to crazy for her and expensive in denver. She began working at a job where the saying was if you go in married or another you come out unmarried or with another. Well she began working there and I told her just please dont do anything that would hurt us because I love you sooo much I trust you and please though it hurts to see you work there because it was lets say a man grouping place around that job. She began to make friends and well her trainer was one of the main problems and I was in college much not with her but came down every weekend to see her and began to notice she was being distant from me and began hearing romuors and my parents worked theier and people would say oh I seen her waiting for him at the locker rooms after work and people would see them alot together at work hanging out and what not. people knew me at the job too when I would go in for just temp summer position there but knew i was a great well futured student and this friend of hers was in his thirties and had a kid and wife which had a bad relationship. and we began to fight about whats going on I hear these rumors and what not and well turned bad and relationship was turning out bad. I rember once we fought and she said no we havent done anything were just close friends, but my dad would be told by people is that ur sons girlfriend and he would say yea, and he would say yea, they say well I seen her with so and so in a pick up. Till this day I wont know what happened but she used to tell me I wont ever forgive myself for it but I asked what happened said nothing just regret being friends with him. Finally one day my friend told me he walked in on them in a hidden room area away from the crowd and seen her sit on this mans lap and half hug as she says a "friendly hug" my buddy said he didnt want to tell me but had too. So that same night I called her and had it on speaker and told her so my friend said he saw you do this she was like noooo he stupid and I said your on speaker wanna say that again because he is here next to me. SHE hung up and I called her back and told her why you hang up she said cuz you would have thought bad thats why well I think bad now that you hung up and lied to me. I left her for 3 days and told her to move on and try things with this man if thats what she wanted. She called back 3 days after the break up crying well over a txt saying she was sorry and I miss her I told her whats going on, come to find he thought he was cool with all this **** and he had her and during a lunch break grabbed her ass and she punched him at lunch and since then we tried to work it out and this happened five years ago and he stalked her after that day for few months dont know what she did to him for the guy to want to stalk her for a good while but finally we got back together forgave her for it. Well so I thought I did which haunted me.

 

We went on where we left off and we began growing even better and was my old sweet self to her and though the damage was done I loved her enough to show that I would forgive her and loved her that much to over come that though we began small fights about that from time to time she got stressed and she began to close herself away from socializing didnt ever tell her too and she began to hate my family and parents and though she tried to give my family a chance she couldnt in the end. She began to say my parents look like she was not good enough for me. Though my parents didnt do anything to make her feel like that and hardly came to my place I was always willing to work hard to make her family like me and never was afraid to confront her upset parents because she was my all. We began and year later she was saying well why havent we been engaged we been together for four years and for me the trust issue was still there and I needed to rest myself again once we got back together and with her crying about engagement only ruined my perfect dream of engagement moment and well one day months after that we went into a jewelers place and felt so happy she pointed out a ring and well I did see it coming and love her so much and we did but she told me u sure you wanna do this and I said yes. So we got the ring. had my parents go with me ask for her parents permission hand in marriage and everything was great then month later we would fight and she would find an ultimate ending to every fight by trying to give me the ring back instead of working with me and trying hard to keep it together but she didnt. She always thought my parents felt like I was pressured into it but my parents came with me asking her hand in marriage so how is that? But anyways we finally broke up after another arguement about my parents being like so and so but I told her I love her to try with me and she thought I sided with my parents over her because she felt my parents didnt feel like the marriage was serious to them so one day we fought and she said I needed to grow up and defend her more which I did lack but I showed it in other ways but I didnt make her feel secured around me is what I lacked sometimes and though when we broke up.........the first week which was in october she said I wish I could forgive you and hug you and say its okay but it doesnt work like that this time then finally she said your the one blah blah..............two days later she began saying its best we part ways. first weekend comes around then she talking to this dude who is a marine srgt. met through one of her best friends birthday party but he came in from san diego. second week I come to find that she was dating him only two weeks it took her and her answer was he made me happy in two weeks and never felt happy in a long time like he has showed me. but she forget everything I went through for her though and how far I went to fight for her. Then her fb is all lovely dovey some what about her new "baby" but doenst make since because she went into a long distance relationship and from what I know he only comes down for holidays to visit her and what not and leaving soon to overseas so everyone even friends were confused how she fell for him right away. She got jealous because I began talking to girls but wished me luck and I deserved the right girl for me I cant get over it and its hard how can she forget our love and replace it with anothers who only sees her less but I lacked security and defending her but my misunderstood my family though and didnt want to try like I tried for her.??????????

 

 

What happens next what should I do..... I want her back but she with this guy and its only my first girl but I wonder if there is better or she making a mistake or to much damage so she needed a clean fresh sheet with him who seems has more security and he opposite of me.

[maxy1]

i am your same age and going through what appears to be the same exact situation as you man, like carbon copy the same exact thing.

 

we dated for 7 years, moved around to different towns etc, just like you. you can check read about it in my waking up in the morning thread.

 

but what i want to say to u is that you are not alone and the majority of people go through this. what makes it hard in your, and my, situation is the fact that you were together for so long with your first serious girl.

 

but everyone gets serious for the first time at some point, and when things change, it all comes down to time. the shorter you were with the person, the quicker the recovery (not all the time, but for the most part) so you probably have a long road ahead of you. but the sooner you embrace that, the better. that is what i am trying to do, and trust me it ain't goin so good. i have received a lot of good advice here, but it is still very very hard to take. it's gonna be a long road for me as well.

 

just learn from the relationship. there are tons of others out there, she is not the only girl in the world. it seems like you did a lot for her and she just didn't feel the same way. not your fault, but you cannot control it. that is the hardest part, for me anyways. but if you think about it, do you really want to be with someone who doesn't feel the same way for you that you do for them?

 

i really wish you the best, but go out and live your life and keep busy!

[nathanjbrown1]

You said that she is with this guy now..You know it's better for you to move on..don't deprive your self....don't dwell your self in the pass..she is not worthy for you...you better look some one that is worthy for your love.

[gomezo.2007]

Thank you guys for the advice. She contacted me about being sorry how she acted like a b&^%h and all this talk after the break up sad enough was through a txt no calls or meet ups but I been talking to this girl from the same town and she funny amazing but not as pretty as her but always their to cheer me up I dont wanna jump into another like my ex girl but this new one a friend for now and dont wanna hurt no one but she said her heart dropped because her friends told her we were possibly gonna get together told her not like that and she just wished me best luck and i needed the right girl and i was a good guy and what not. then got drunk one night txt her how pist i was for all the **** she put me through then was sober next day apologized and told her sorry for being immature type stuff. then never txt back but just today on facebook i had a friend who was going through some stuff and commented under facebook to keep her head up and time will heal all and she liked the comment then another friend put someting funny under my comment next thing i know my ex told her to keep her head up and not take advice from idiots and put a smiley face. which was an indirect call out towards me so didnt do anything just brushed it off kinda messed up but whatever her new man can try to replace the void but no one can do her right like i did and moving on and gonna b happy thank you guys.

[gomezo.2007]

any advice on how to stop going through her stupid ****tt facebook acoount she not my friends list but she has her **** public and has ohhh cant wait to see my baby and this guy nothing like me if anything lives further away oh well wanna stop fb but cant damn it its weird i contact most my girls i know through here ahhah.