trappedinnc Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 (edited) I have two daughters (8 & 2) and have been married for 15 years. I started suspecting an affair last christmas. I hired a PI and Lawyer in July and quickly found evidence. I confronted her in August (lawyer needed specific evidence). I thought once the A was exposed things would quickly come to and end, but that was not the case. I expected that she would end the affair and we would try reconcilliation. Boy was I wrong... Instead, we are now stuck in the house together. She is still seeing boyfriend and will not even consider leaving. At first i agreed to leave but now i'm starting to think that is BS. I did not screw this up and I do not want my daughter to think her daddy left her. My lawyer is telling me that i should not leave until we have a seperation agreement (SA). Since we live in the same house, Its getting harder and harder to keep my cool (I usually know when she is up to no good). I gave her an SA five weeks ago and we have not made any progress. I should mention my wife and her boyfriend are both attorneys Edited November 14, 2011 by trappedinnc
Tiberius Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 Well a divorce attorney should still be able to handle attorneys who are not specialised in that field. I feel whowever wants to leave the marriage should leave AND leave the children behind, unless either party is an irresponsible adult, who cant hold down a job, take care of himself, nevermind his own children. But you can expect to be thrown out of your house. In the western world the notion still exists that children belong with their mother. I am afraid she would have to be a drug user for you to stand a chance to be allowed anywhere near your house in the future. You should start looking for a place you can afford, just in case.
speedster Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 listen to your lawyer. (s)he's done this a hundred times, they know what they're talking about. start gathering and making copies of financial data, notes, etc. you have a long road ahead. best of luck.
robf1971 Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Lol who cares if they are both attorneys, Just means you need to be double careful, always carry a voice activated recorder with you at all times. Do not leave your home, it's weak. She had the affair, she can go!!
Author trappedinnc Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 Careful. One trick they like to use is baiting you into a confrontation. Then they claim you abused them, call the police, get you kicked out, then get a protective order and you can't have access to your own house. Don't let her goad you and never get angry. Also, regardless of who lives in the house, one of the parties has to buy out the other's share of the house. So if she wants you to leave tell her "Fine, buy out my share of the house first, let's put in writing with the lawyers, as soon as I get my money I'm gone." Of course your wife knows this which is why she is dragging her feet. She probably wants you to buy out her share but she still gets to live there with the kids. Don't fall for that one. She's a lawyer, she has an income. She wants her cake and eat it too, she's a cheater, after all....she wants the house but she doesn't want to have to buy out your share. So, it is almost guaranteed that she is just waiting for the right opportunity to file a trumped-up allegation of abuse against you. Never ever drink around her, don't do drugs, don't get angry, don't raise your voice, don't threaten. She is biding her time and I guarantee this is her stragegy. Don't be a patsy for it. I think you are right. Crazy how things turn out sometimes....
Author trappedinnc Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 Well a divorce attorney should still be able to handle attorneys who are not specialised in that field. I feel whowever wants to leave the marriage should leave AND leave the children behind, unless either party is an irresponsible adult, who cant hold down a job, take care of himself, nevermind his own children. But you can expect to be thrown out of your house. In the western world the notion still exists that children belong with their mother. I am afraid she would have to be a drug user for you to stand a chance to be allowed anywhere near your house in the future. You should start looking for a place you can afford, just in case. My attorney is a little more optimistic. We were able to collect some good evidence before going public. Keeping quiet for a few months was tough.
Art_Critic Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 You need someone on a web forum to tell you to listen to your attorney.. Well then listen to your attorney.. You hired him to look after your best interests and that is what he is doing.. if you don't feel comfortable with him then fire him and hire someone you do feel comfortable taking advice from.. Good Luck.
carhill Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 If it's like ' ' and no one will leave, here's an option Or, listen to your lawyer
Author trappedinnc Posted November 17, 2011 Author Posted November 17, 2011 I guess I already new this.... I'm stuck in hell Will talk to my attorney on Friday. I think we will have to get the court to decide who stays and who goes which will take another 60 days. Apparently there is a way to do this in nc. I guess we will a happy Christmas.
Author trappedinnc Posted November 17, 2011 Author Posted November 17, 2011 That's about where we are with this.
carhill Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 If "NC" means 'North Carolina', I'm sure your lawyer has advised you of the statutes regarding alienation of affection and criminal conversation and potential lawsuits/prosecution available as potential remedies. If her boyfriend has deep pockets, potential lottery ticket, not to mention earning him (and her) a nice criminal record.
Author trappedinnc Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 If "NC" means 'North Carolina', I'm sure your lawyer has advised you of the statutes regarding alienation of affection and criminal conversation and potential lawsuits/prosecution available as potential remedies. If her boyfriend has deep pockets, potential lottery ticket, not to mention earning him (and her) a nice criminal record. Yes, yes and yes. I've had a long discussion about this with my attorney.
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