ChelseaLS Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 I think I am getting angry... I think I am in that phase. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I know it's weird because our break up wasn't messy or anything and so to feel angry is kind of odd.. but I am. I catch myself sitting at my desk and he walks by and I am cursing in my head "just go the **** home already" or when he stops to talk and is all peachy, I start going off in my head "you commitment-phob grown son of a bitch"... yeah the thoughts are getting ugly. I don't want to be angry though. I don't like angry, I still love him dearly. Is this normal even in a calm, non-messy breakup?
headsashed Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 you probs are at that anger stage and its normal,i remember a few weeks ago i was the same,for no reason,everytime i saw her or even just walked past hers i was like "you horrible basta**" etc lol,im ok now,even when i see her i dont really feel angry so it will pass im sure,it did me anyway
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 14, 2011 Author Posted November 14, 2011 (edited) you probs are at that anger stage and its normal,i remember a few weeks ago i was the same,for no reason,everytime i saw her or even just walked past hers i was like "you horrible basta**" etc lol,im ok now,even when i see her i dont really feel angry so it will pass im sure,it did me anyway It just seems so messed up. I'm angry but I still love him to death. I am pissed that it's ended. And for no reason at all I want to call him a coward and a selfish son of a bitch. I suppose its because the whole break up ended out of the blue. He had just spend a retarded amount of money on me for my birthday... who does that only to end it not even a month later? Any I know I need to stop asking questions.. but my photos are still on his desk, wtf? I really really want to get off this roller coaster. I'm done with the ups and downs. Edited November 14, 2011 by ChelseaLS
DannyT27 Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 ChelseaLS I feel your pain Im the same, it's a horrible feeling and only time will heal. Do you think you stand a chance of getting back together ? I'm gonna do the no contact rule for as long as I can.. Hopefully one day shell get all this partyin out of her system and realise I'm the one as we was with each otha 5.5 yrs. I don't thk it helps that you still see each other.
headsashed Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 Sounds same as me,i still love her and she ended it out of the blue which killed me as i thought everything was fine. A few weeks before id spent a full weeks wage on her bday present too,she did give me the money for when we broke up but thats not the point. your anger will pass chelsea im sure,mine did and my break up wasnt nasty at all,fair enough,during the 9 weeks we have been broke up we have argued and said nasty things to each other and maybe thats why i got angry,but i dont get angry anymore,even when she goes off at me like yesterday,so it will pass,you have my word
nathanjbrown1 Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 you probs are at that anger stage and its normal,i remember a few weeks ago i was the same,for no reason,everytime i saw her or even just walked past hers i was like "you horrible basta**" etc lol,im ok now,even when i see her i dont really feel angry so it will pass im sure,it did me anyway Yah you're right..It's very normal at first because the pain is there but time to time it will heals and eventually it will gone...
stunned8165 Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 I'm angry myself. You should read my original thread when I found this place. The responses and about the LC I had with her. In there some where I told her off too. I had enough. years I gave her and her children just to be kicked aside like an old shoe. All because of her issues in her head. Cheated on me with her boss too. She had no reason to have a low self esteem which is really part of the proble. She was loved by me, her kids, my family, and was treated nicely. We had a happy home. A nice home. Her and I, two kids with no dad other than me (they just turned 4 & 5) and three dogs. Something a lot of single moms with no help from the father would love to have.. Al for some little seedy half ass resaraunt that can't even pay their electric bill. And as far as the boss is concerned, the man has no character... But my anger is because how I was done so wrong for no reason. Makes no sense to me why people do the things they do. The grass isn't greener on the otherside. ... Hope fully your anger will pass.. I wish had the oportunity to see here or talk to her. Onlly to tell her off probably. But what kills and angers me the most is being shut out of those kids lives like I was Charles Manson. Those kids loved me and miss me.. .. Sorry, rambling on..... But it does get better with everyday.
ffw Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 I think I am getting angry... I think I am in that phase. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I know it's weird because our break up wasn't messy or anything and so to feel angry is kind of odd.. but I am. I catch myself sitting at my desk and he walks by and I am cursing in my head "just go the **** home already" or when he stops to talk and is all peachy, I start going off in my head "you commitment-phob grown son of a bitch"... yeah the thoughts are getting ugly. I don't want to be angry though. I don't like angry, I still love him dearly. Is this normal even in a calm, non-messy breakup? Hi chelsea, I recommend you to read this post http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t253374/ GL.
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 FFW these 5 stages listed in that post... they don't have to go in that order do they? Because I went through denial, negotiations, sadness and now anger.
Rorschach64 Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 They sure don't Chelsea, they sure don't
ffw Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 FFW these 5 stages listed in that post... they don't have to go in that order do they? Because I went through denial, negotiations, sadness and now anger. Nope they don't. Everyone goes through different phases. How r u feeling now?
smokey bear Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 The stages hit you at all times, you'll go back and forth between them. I always say its best to feel the feeling, its the only way to get through them and heal, but with anger i didnt allow it. I had such a hatrid for him i could have physically assaulted him lol, i was so happy to finally be feeling something other than hurt, but after a day or two it really wasnt healthy, it was worse feeling angry and i made steps to get rid of it. I dont think the anger was healthy, i didnt like that stage and tried to get out of it as quick as possible xx 4 months down the line with nc, i find the few things that helped me were breaking nc. Breaking nc helped both of us. We both had feelings pent up, when we broke nc we discussed what went wrong, it gave us some answers and allowed some negetive emotions to be laid to rest. Its knowing when to do it, 6 weeks after break up, he could only give me a better understanding of why we broke up. He told me he cant come back, not that he didnt want to come back. 2.5 months, he tried to come back. too soon, he wasnt ready 4 months he was finally able to be honest about what was going on in his life, his feelings etc. 4.5 months. we can be in each others company and actually get along nicely. Yesterday. he broke nc, you know what happened. my ex didnt open up to anyone. didnt discuss the break so the few times i broke nc where the only times he got to vent what built up inside him. It helped us both. Chelsea if you are looking for a second chance i do recommend nc to heal and gain a better position, but i also promote breaking nc to gauge where he is in his healing and learning. Again this is only for a second chance. if you want to move on stick to nc. I want a second chance, if i hadnt broke nc, solved some issues, got an idea of where he is at with healing. i would have moved on by now. the door would have been closed for him not to come back. Like i said to you in a post before i want to keep the door open, but i know fully it causes me hurt, but that hurt is the wedge to that door xx What everyone says is true for the time it takes them to miss you 3-5 months with noone else 6-8 months with a rebound. the only thing that may speed it up is completely being out there life, but it will only speed it up for example they come back after 6 months rather than the 8. if they come back before they are not ready. I remember when my ex came back after 2.5months i said to myself "im not ready" never mind him. Time is really the key. Lc is the key to keeping the door open. Nc is the key to healing and resolving problems.
smokey bear Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 I think I am getting angry... I think I am in that phase. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I know it's weird because our break up wasn't messy or anything and so to feel angry is kind of odd.. but I am. I catch myself sitting at my desk and he walks by and I am cursing in my head "just go the **** home already" or when he stops to talk and is all peachy, I start going off in my head "you commitment-phob grown son of a bitch"... yeah the thoughts are getting ugly. I don't want to be angry though. I don't like angry, I still love him dearly. Is this normal even in a calm, non-messy breakup? Are you in a office of your own or are you all at desks in the same big room? xx
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 16, 2011 Author Posted November 16, 2011 Are you in a office of your own or are you all at desks in the same big room? xx I have my own office and he has his, but people are constantly in my office asking questions so my door is always open. His office is on the way to the kitchen and faces the bullpen, where I am a lot to see different brokers.
smokey bear Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 would it be possible to put a auto close on your door, so it closes its self, just a spring loaded thing on the top. I think it could help to up your nc a notch, it must be hard with your situation.
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 17, 2011 Author Posted November 17, 2011 would it be possible to put a auto close on your door, so it closes its self, just a spring loaded thing on the top. I think it could help to up your nc a notch, it must be hard with your situation. No I need to be available to the brokers at all times.
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