mtber75 Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 I have the habit of meeting women (that I'm interested in) in non social settings like work or gym. So I often hand them my business card (write down my personal phone #). What do you ladies think about this? Like I said I meet these women in a professional environment so I don't want to directly ask directly ask for their number? Any input is greatly appreciated!
forms Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 I think it's great. It gives you more credibility and stability and openess. I don't see a downside.
joystickd Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 I prefer giving out my number because if she calls it let's me know if she is interested. Some women give out their number just for the ego boost. Notice I said some and not all
D-Lish Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 I like your idea. I think it's easier than approaching someone, asking them out, and sweating while you wait for an answer... It almost takes the rejection out of the approach, which makes the approach easier. I'd be fine with a guy doing this. I've mentioned before, a guy once did this with my friend in a restaurant. He did it in just the right way. He approached our table as we were eating, pulled out his card, said "Hi, I'm M, I'm just on my way out, I noticed you from across the room and think you're very attractive, would love to take you out sometime- give me a shout if you're interested"... She called him. I say go for it, it's a great method of approaching women.
Star Gazer Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 If a guy volunteers his business card with his contact info, I'm not going to call him. If he wants to take me out on a date, he should ask me for MY number, not volunteer his so that I have to call him.
cerridwen Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 If a guy volunteers his business card with his contact info, I'm not going to call him. If he wants to take me out on a date, he should ask me for MY number, not volunteer his so that I have to call him. ^^This. ......
D-Lish Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 If a guy volunteers his business card with his contact info, I'm not going to call him. If he wants to take me out on a date, he should ask me for MY number, not volunteer his so that I have to call him. If he approaches you in public and asks you out- and you're not attracted to him, what would you say to him to let him down easy?
Star Gazer Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 If he approaches you in public and asks you out- and you're not attracted to him, what would you say to him to let him down easy? "I'm flattered, but not interested. Thank you though for being man enough to ask!" A guy who crop dusts the ladies with business cards and is so afraid of rejection that he can't even ask women he's sincerely interested in for their number isn't someone I'd ever be interested in dating. Dropping business cards is cowardly and also player-like. I'm also surmising that doing this hasn't been working for the OP, hence why he's asking about it.
cerridwen Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 "I'm flattered, but not interested. Thank you though for being man enough to ask!" A guy who crop dusts the ladies with business cards and is so afraid of rejection that he can't even ask women he's sincerely interested in for their number isn't someone I'd ever be interested in dating. Dropping business cards is cowardly and also player-like. I'm also surmising that doing this hasn't been working for the OP, hence why he's asking about it. It does come across as a bit oily, doesn't it. I like the "I'm flattered but" part.
norajane Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 I have the habit of meeting women (that I'm interested in) in non social settings like work or gym. So I often hand them my business card (write down my personal phone #). What do you ladies think about this? Like I said I meet these women in a professional environment so I don't want to directly ask directly ask for their number? Any input is greatly appreciated! If you're meeting these women in a professional setting where giving them your card is acceptable, why aren't you asking for their cards? Get her card and call her later to ask her out on a date.
Survivor12 Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 I like it when a guy offers me his card. If I'm interested, I give him my number in return, making sure to let him know that the ball is in his court. Even though I don't initiate the phone call, I still ask for his number so that I can enter it in my phone to make sure that I dont miss it (I dont answer calls from #s I dont know) and that he doesn't catch me off guard if/when he does call.
D-Lish Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 "I'm flattered, but not interested. Thank you though for being man enough to ask!" A guy who crop dusts the ladies with business cards and is so afraid of rejection that he can't even ask women he's sincerely interested in for their number isn't someone I'd ever be interested in dating. Dropping business cards is cowardly and also player-like. I'm also surmising that doing this hasn't been working for the OP, hence why he's asking about it. Might not be working, agreed. But I do believe that men would rather not "hear" the rejection at all. "I'm flattered" is still "NO"... And I truly think a lot of men won't approach in any way, beause even "I'm flattered, but no thanks", might be something hard to deal with for a lot of guys. It does come across as a bit oily, doesn't it. I like the "I'm flattered but" part. If I asked a guy out (which I don't do out of fear of rejection:o), Hearing "I'm flattered, but not interested" wouldn't cushion the blow. I don't think you can ever really let someone down easy without hurting them in even a small way. I guess there is no easy way. Star, C, would you cold approach a guy?
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 If a guy volunteers his business card with his contact info, I'm not going to call him. If he wants to take me out on a date, he should ask me for MY number, not volunteer his so that I have to call him. I agree. I am not a fan of getting a guy's business card with his home number written on it. It's a little swarmy for me. But that's just my opinion. Any guy that's done that with me was a bit swarmy. Maybe there are men that do it that aren't. I just haven't personally experienced that.
cerridwen Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Might not be working, agreed. But I do believe that men would rather not "hear" the rejection at all. "I'm flattered" is still "NO"... And I truly think a lot of men won't approach in any way, beause even "I'm flattered, but no thanks", might be something hard to deal with for a lot of guys. If I asked a guy out (which I don't do out of fear of rejection:o), Hearing "I'm flattered, but not interested" wouldn't cushion the blow. I don't think you can ever really let someone down easy without hurting them in even a small way. I guess there is no easy way. Star, C, would you cold approach a guy? I agree there's no way to deliver a "no" without it hurting a bit; that's why I like SG's opening of "I'm flattered". But honestly, I couldn't say the "...but I'm not interested" part. I hate hurting feelings. Instead, I inelegantly flail, alternating between thanking them and explaining why I can't. It's all very awkward. No, D, I wouldn't cold approach a guy.
Star Gazer Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Star, C, would you cold approach a guy? No, I wouldn't. Dropping a business card isn't really an approach either. HE is interested but doing that is like flipping the script and him saying, "If you're interested in me, reach out to me and ask ME out." But guess what? That's not how it works. If YOU are interested in ME, YOU need to ask ME out. Not basically ask me to ask you out. And what's all this nonsense about fearing rejection?? Life is ALL ABOUT taking chances. And if a guy can't handle getting turned down by a stranger, then he's clearly so weak that he could never handle a relationship. And yes... Every time I've experienced this, the guy has been smarmy and oily and just... Ew.
Nexus One Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 (edited) "I'm flattered, but not interested. Thank you though for being man enough to ask!" A guy who crop dusts the ladies with business cards and is so afraid of rejection that he can't even ask women he's sincerely interested in for their number isn't someone I'd ever be interested in dating. Dropping business cards is cowardly and also player-like. I'm also surmising that doing this hasn't been working for the OP, hence why he's asking about it. What makes you think a guy wants to evade rejection by giving a business card? Her not calling is as much a rejection as anything. If I specifically targeted a woman to hit on, then I'd feel as disappointed when she didn't call as when she would have told me straight out, no. Handing out a business card is great for situations where there's little time. Think about the practicality of this, not every guy has pen and paper at hand at all times to scribble down his contact details. First I'd ask her name and if she's single, then I'd ask if she wanted to exchange contact details so I can take her out on a date and if she said yes, then I'd hand her my phone to type in her number. Then I might give her my business card, unless she also pulls out her phone. If she seems startled or unsure, then I'd give her my card too, then she'll have time to think about it. If there's just too little time for even that, then I just pass the card. I view this purely from a perspective of practicality. As guys have to do the approaching most of the time we have to put some thought into it, because if you don't and you run into a woman that rings your bell, then you better have your sh*t together right then and there on the spot. But that's my opinion. No, I wouldn't. Dropping a business card isn't really an approach either. HE is interested but doing that is like flipping the script and him saying, "If you're interested in me, reach out to me and ask ME out." But guess what? That's not how it works. If YOU are interested in ME, YOU need to ask ME out. Not basically ask me to ask you out. And what's all this nonsense about fearing rejection?? Life is ALL ABOUT taking chances. And if a guy can't handle getting turned down by a stranger, then he's clearly so weak that he could never handle a relationship. And yes... Every time I've experienced this, the guy has been smarmy and oily and just... Ew. I just disagree with you on this. I'd think your opinion would differ on this if you were a guy and would have to do the approaching, because then you'd have to start thinking practically and then yeah, business cards are one way of practicality. Granted though, it might seem a bit player-ish and make it seem like a guy is dusting the crop, but that doesn't have to be the case, that's an assumption on your side. How about seeing if the guy actually rings your bell in that moment and decide based on that? Edited November 15, 2011 by Nexus One
Frogwife Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 I'm curious: If it's your habit, as you've stated, has it been successful or not? If you are doing this regularly and not getting dates, then it might be something else. I am a woman and wouldn't be (and haven't been) bothered by a man I found attractive handing me his business card.
Nexus One Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 I'm curious: If it's your habit, as you've stated, has it been successful or not? If you are doing this regularly and not getting dates, then it might be something else. I am a woman and wouldn't be (and haven't been) bothered by a man I found attractive handing me his business card. It's not a habit. I recently ordered the cards I wanted to use for this, because I wanted to account for situations with little time, as it has happened to me on multiple occasions where there was too little time to exchange contact details. But I haven't used those business cards yet, so I can't give you a success rate on that yet. I wouldn't make it a habit either in the sense that I'd "dust the field". I'd only give out such a card very selectively. That might differ per guy though, some guys might just as well be dusting the field. I have exchanged business cards with women on a purely business related level, but that's completely different from hitting on women. I actually had different ones printed for handing out to a woman in non-business situations.
Leegh Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 The expected way, in our society, is for the man to call the woman. It is very unclear when a man gives a woman his business card what his intentions are; as women are unsure if he is simply being friendly (as a polite way to end the conversation by giving her his business card), is he trying to promote his business, or is he serious about going out? I think it's best to ask for her phone number, but at least giving her your business card is better than not doing anything, but please make it clear to her why you are giving her your card.
Star Gazer Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 It's not a habit. I think they were asking the OP. He said it's a habit.
Art_Critic Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 I just disagree with you on this. I'd think your opinion would differ on this if you were a guy and would have to do the approaching, Nexus.. it isn't your opinion that counts in this case, it is people like SG who are your target audience, that is whose opinions of the cards really matter.. You can disagree with SG all you want but in the end it is a woman who would be on the receiving end of a card.. have you read the thread and looked at how you will look when you do give out that card ? FWIW.. When I was dating..I have never given out a business card to any girl.. Many reasons why but the most important one is that it comes across very slimy and car salesman like... I don't think even to this day my wife has one of my cards ...she did ask for one once.. but I have never given one to her..hahahaha
Emilia Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 The expected way, in our society, is for the man to call the woman. It is very unclear when a man gives a woman his business card what his intentions are; as women are unsure if he is simply being friendly (as a polite way to end the conversation by giving her his business card), is he trying to promote his business, . Occasionally a guy gives me his business card in social situations but I just assume that he is networking since a good networker never stops.
serial muse Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 I don't personally have an opinion on the who should give who their number thing. But I totally agree with this: Many reasons why but the most important one is that it comes across very slimy and car salesman like... I think business cards are so impersonal. If a guy handed me one, it'd feel to me like he wants to set up an interview, not go on a date. Bleh. And I'd assume I was about the fiftieth person to receive one that hour. But what do I know, I'm old. I also don't understand relationships that include a lot of texting.
Star Gazer Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Nexus.. it isn't your opinion that counts in this case, it is people like SG who are your target audience, that is whose opinions of the cards really matter.. You can disagree with SG all you want but in the end it is a woman who would be on the receiving end of a card.. have you read the thread and looked at how you will look when you do give out that card ? Really, this is it. It's the opinion of your target audience that matters in situations like this, not your own.
Beachgirl8 Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Occasionally a guy gives me his business card in social situations but I just assume that he is networking since a good networker never stops. This is exactly what I would think too. A business card is for business purposes. If a guy asked me for my number in order to date me I wouldn't hand him my business card, either.
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