CHSH Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 Hi guys, I don't usually go on this forum but today I just feel like I have to post something. I've just finished chatting with the SO and feel like a total mess. I think today might be the lowest of the low for me. We had a slight misunderstanding about something and I took something he said waaaay too personally and then came the crying, the ranting on my part. I don't even know what got into me. Even though we managed to sort it out in the end it had not been a very happy chatting experience. It was horrendous because he was about to go to sleep and I just felt horrible about it ending that way. It should have been a nice chat, you know? We're far away, why was there ever any need for the crying and ranting? SO, being the nice person that he is, complied with my request of staying and chatting even though it was already close to 1 am his time. I'm just feeling like a horrible, horrible person and everything is just getting to me. They have been for the past couple of weeks but I've always been on a high when we've talked that I forget about it until the chat ends and I'm alone at night time, thinking about him and missing him. The thing is, he's coming over here in about 3 months so shouldn't I be on more of a high than a low? A friend of mine said that I might be feeling this way because I'm getting more and more impatient since the time is coming closer and that's why I'm on a low. I don't know. I just don't understand myself right now.
wildgeese Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 It's just a low. We all have them (I'm in the midst of my own personal low right now) and they can make us act unlike ourselves. Unless this is an extended (weeks+) situation and if so...well, then that's a different story. Being away from our partners is so incredibly tough and the depression that goes along with LDR is one thing that people don't talk about enough. Do not beat yourself up over that one incident. We all have bad/emotional times (I'm sure your boyfriend has them too and understands) and sometimes they get the best of us. You shouldn't feel guilty for crying/ranting if that's how you were really feeling. Just make sure that in those times of distress you make let your SO knows that it's about the situation or something in general, and not about him. I know that I have a harder time at night too. Those are generally the times that I want to send him weepy messages about how much I miss him and just how generally ****ty everything seems. But I'll try to distract myself or write it in a journal instead, because those feelings are usually just magnified at night. Sometimes I will send them anyway and he understands because he's feeling all of it too. 3 months is still a bit of a wait when you love someone, so it's totally normal to feel off.
wild_urge Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 I totally feel for you. I just had a low last week, I was starting to doubt that it might work out fine at the end. And the nights really suck the most. I am starting to think that I get so depressed not only because I miss him being here, but because I really miss the physical part, it's very nice that we can talk for hours almost every day, but kissing, hugging, just sleeping in the same bed ( things you usually do at night ) . . . I think I miss them too much. Last week I decided that I over think things too much and that keeps me stressed and unhappy all the time, so I decided that it would be a wonderful idea to start reading something light to take my mind of him and the LDR in general, so I started reading Twilight . . . at first it did the trick, but after a few days I became really depressed, even I had gotten over the low, I just felt so empty and we had talked every single day and he was really nice to me. . . so I wondered why the hell am I so down again. . . well, throughout the first book, Edward and Bella are very much in love but they can't get physical cause he's a vampire and there's a lot of sexual tension between them ( I'm not a fan of vampires, but desperate times call for desperate measures ). . . so I realized that the book just reminds me how much I miss the most important part of being in a relationship, ok, maybe not the most important, but it's what makes it different from a pure friendship . . . and I kind of really sucks that there is this person you're really in love with, but he's so far that you can hug or kiss him. . . and sometimes we forget how much we miss that, because in a LDR if you don't see each other for a long time you kind forget how it feels to be with someone. . . although unconsciously the need is still there . . . and you might talk to the person as much as you want, but nothing will cheer you up as cuddling or making love . . . I have no advice unfortunately. . . just hang in there, three months is long, but not that long, it will pass and then you'll be happy again. Just try to remind him on your good days that you are still the same person he fell in love with, find something fun to do that will make you both laugh, that's the best remedy. Good luck
Author CHSH Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 Thanks for the replies. We've managed to chat a little bit this morning (well, it's nearly 2 am here and morning there) and I feel so much better now. I'm grateful that I have someone as understanding as him and he's reassured me that he knew I was just having a tough time and that he loves me. I was just completely off guard that my feelings could change so quickly from being happy to being sad. We haven't seen each other for 8 months now but I think I get depressed quickly because of the fact that we're on such a high talking about how the time is coming but when I'm on my own, I dwell on the fact that he's not here and the visit won't be as soon as I thought. Night time is definitely a lot harder for me. Apart from the physical contact and just having him near, it's also affected my sleep. I've always had insomnia since I was a child and the only times I've ever had a normal sleeping schedule was when he was with me. I just miss the warmth, the waking up and seeing each other and all the other little things I didn't think about when we were actually together. It drives me crazy! I also tried to distract myself and I've been getting back into reading books lately, as you have wild_urge. It's distracting for a bit but after that... But, as you pointed out wildgeese, it is just a low and it will pass. I know this is a normal occurrence but when it actually happens you do forget and then start to worry about why you're on a low etc. At least, I do. I feel like I'm crazy when I just suddenly burst into tears for no apparent reason!
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