MyApologies Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 I dated this extremely nice guy years ago. He went on vacations with my family and I. They loved him. He is brilliant, has the jet set lifestyle in this economy, is hugely family oriented, and I cannot figure out why I have never been hugely receptive. He was estatic to see i change my FB name, and jumped at the oppurtunity to ask me out to dinner. It has been 5 years and he has told me many times how much of a mistake I had made not staying with him. Strangely enough, back then I was in a rollar coaster relationship with another man who was opposite him, and when we decided to date others, I met this man. When people mention the world is a small place, they are right, I did not know these two were huge foes at the same Ivy League College years and years ago. They lived at least 100 miles from one another and the college is out of the state. So, the chances I met him and they knew one another was stranger than fiction. There was a history of competition and jealousy there. So the Foe of the 2 used mental strategies to make it so I was less interested in the nice guy. When I questioned him about this later he admitted what he was doing (such an ass) and that he didn't care if I saw others, he just did not want me to see him, in other words a guy who was so great and wonderful, which would make him the less desirable one. Can attraction grow? Should I give him a chance?
FitChick Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 From reading your other 9-1/2 weeks thread, as well as this one, I am under the impression that you prefer drama with bad boys and would find this man too dull.
Yamaha Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 I think you like the idea of a good family man but I don't think you are ready for his type of relationship based on your other posts.
Author MyApologies Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 Great advice and input! You are right, I wish he would do something off the wall and crazy:))) I have to think about it. He wrote and asked me to dinner a week ago and I still have not responded. What I cannot understand is why I have no optimism for the perfect guy?!
Cracker Jack Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Sometimes that's just how attraction is. Plenty of women prefer the "perfect guy", but unfortunately that guy usually doesn't turn them on.
phineas Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Sometimes that's just how attraction is. Plenty of women prefer the "perfect guy", but unfortunately that guy usually doesn't turn them on. Yep. When I had zero interest in any woman during my separation & just didn't care they were chasing after me. Soon as I was divorced & was interested In dating I started to get conservative & concerned about what I said & they lost interest in me. Took another yr for me to learn to be myself & just not care if their into me or not & not to waste my time on those not into me. I know women like op & i'm not interested in them because they do crave the drama. I feel exhausted just thinking about the work i'd have to do to keep them interested. I know one in particular that manages a clothing store & I KNOW I could probably have her just by having her pick out a pair of jeans for me & telling her not to go far in case I need help with the zipper & she'd probably be in the changing room with me. Except, she also wants a long term live-in relationship & from my point of view based on the fact every guy she has dated have been the type that just use her for sex then move onto the next I really just don't want anything more than the occasional catch-up & fashion advice from her. too bad because she's got a rocking body which is hard to find at my age.
Author MyApologies Posted November 16, 2011 Author Posted November 16, 2011 Thank you for the responses. I do not believe I mentioned that I like drama. I loathe drama. I like life to be positive, fun, and enlighting. Regarding men, there just has to be a certain glint in their eyes, which must mean excitement. Drama no. Chemistry, can't keep our hands off one another, yes!
FitChick Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 I do not believe I mentioned that I like drama. I loathe drama. I guess we must have different definitions for drama then. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t306544/
Recommended Posts