Buttercup84 Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 I haven't even kissed anyone since we broke up . Though my ex and I hardly made out for ages , maybe just during sex and pecks on the lips . I miss making out hehe . Not really into kissing randoms , bit it will be so strange kissing someone after kissing the same person for so long . And sex after the ex will be weird . Anyone feel the same ? Thanks !
ScienceGal Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 (edited) I did feel weird kissing someone other than my ex, but I also knew it had to happen... at some point. The first time I had sex I wanted to cry (awful I know). For me, it all came back to understanding that the ex somehow was still looming over my head, he still had power over me. I reflected upon why I was still feeling so attached to someone that treated me horribly. I had to accept that I am never going to be with him again. I was able to see that it's ok to kiss someone new and to be intimate with them providing that I am genuinely interested in them. Moving forward, it's about making better choices than I've made before. Its about letting someone in only if I feel they're trustworthy. And now, I've kissed the new guy so much that I don't miss kissing my ex. I am not supporting the notion that being with someone else should be used as a tool to move on; however, when you are ready, dating and making connections to other men will help you. Hopefully it will restore your faith that there are good men out there. Realize there are less good men too though. Don't jump in to anything since it could end up hurting you (even if the guy is a saint). Get a good sense of yourself and what you want, maintain your confidence and then get out there for a date or two. You'll get some good night smooches Edited November 14, 2011 by ScienceGal
lilyblue Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 I went through the same thing 2 ex's ago. Every time I made out with the guy that I started dating after that I would cry. Not a good situation!! In my case the physical connection with the guy before him had been so good that something just felt so lacking. I ended up dating the one that I cried with for many months and things never really got better. But then with the next guy (who is now also an ex...) everything was fine. Maybe it just took time.
mike588 Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 I haven't even kissed anyone since we broke up . Though my ex and I hardly made out for ages , maybe just during sex and pecks on the lips . I miss making out hehe . Not really into kissing randoms , bit it will be so strange kissing someone after kissing the same person for so long . And sex after the ex will be weird . Anyone feel the same ? Thanks ! My ex. and I kissed, made out alot up until the last few weeks. I haven't kissed anyone since my dumping 3 months ago. The first 2 months I didn't want to have sex with anyone,,, It was like I was holding on to that as a special thing between us,I know,sounds lame but now I don't care.
ccnaboy2000 Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 Sex after the ex is always hard man. It's almost like I drank a whole bottle of whiskey and can't get it up. The psychological factor is missing for me. It's weird because my sex drive tanks. It's funny too because if I even masturbate and then a thought of my ex will pop into my mind and I go limp.
CaliBabe Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 I suppose it might just be me, but sex after my ex (long term relationship) was great. I got lucky because there was great chemistry and he was a great lover and thats rare to find. If there is no chemistry between you and the new person, don't do it. If it's disappointing I can understand why you would miss the ex. You live once, enjoy it!
Rose_Petal Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Yeah I wonder about that too...but I assume that it'll just be so different that I won't be able to compare or relate to the intimacy I had with my ex. It'll be like starting all over again...not knowing what to expect the first time with the preson, even though I'm not a virgin. I sort of look forward to start exploring something completly new again and being nervous for that first time...Like I said I think it's just different. If you're really over your ex (which I think is the healthiest state to be in before accepting to be intimate with someone else) I don't think it'll be a big issue. It'll be wierd because you'll be in unknown territory with someone different, not because you've had sex with someone else before. I'll bet it was wierd the first time you had sex, too because you had no idea what to expect.
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