lovesick1 Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 (edited) Well, finally did it. We have come so close to breaking up multiple times over the past few months after a rocky 2 and a half years, but today I finally ended it. She said she didn't understand and I told her I wanted to see other people and didn't think it was healthy for me to be in a long distance relationship when I was graduating college in the spring (we have no prospects for the future). She continued to say how I was misinterpreting things and wouldn't accept it so I told her I was going to hang up so she could think about it. Hung up, turned phone off, and haven't looked back. Its hard to describe our relationship as it was so complex, but my mom put it nicely, "Well I can certainly understand the way you feel. It's hard to be with someone who is so possessive that you cannot breathe without raising feelings of jealously or suspicion." We have been working on her jealousy for a long time but it always involves me having to keep in contact with her like at least every hour the whole night if its a weekend and I am out with my friends drinking. Then she gave me crap this morning and called me a liar for not disclosing to her that me and a few of my friends ran and gave a huge hug to another friend of mine (who is a girl) when she showed up to the party I was at-- I considered this event to be entirely nothing. This is what she was saying I was misinterpreting when I hung up. We didn't talk much for the rest of today and then she called me at 430 to ask if we were alright and I just told her I couldn't talk (which I really couldn't I was running an experiment) and that I'd call her at 7. Over that time I made up my mind it was time to move on. Called her, did it in 3 minutes, hung up on her, and that was that. I turned on my phone for a second and she only ever sent me 1 text and an email saying "Please pick up, I deserve more than that." I do want to talk to her about it but I have tried multiple times to end it with this girl and she always ends up convincing me why we should be together when I talk to her about it. So I am just going to hold to my guns and be firm-- I think it's the best course of action. Anyway, feeling pretty lonely now.. but I think it was for the best Cheers Edited November 14, 2011 by lovesick1 typo
Author lovesick1 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 So no responses sadly... Been one day now and it has hit me like a semi, I am pretty emotionally distraught.. I just hope she is doing well. We cleared the air this morning, didn't put any constraints on contact just said what was needed, took care of a few facebook things and left it at that. It was really a mature ending, I feel it worked out as best it could for both of us. But man even though I was the dumper, I knew how much I loved her, and I gotta say it hurts BAD right now. I am sure she is hurting just as much or more but damn. Does this get any better???...
ChelseaLS Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Of course it gets better. Time is a blessing. But she needs to learn how to trust you, otherwise like your mom said, she will suffocate the relationship (any relationship) until the fire dies. I hope she realizes she needs to work on this now that you two are apart. It's something myself had to and still am working at. She needs to grow her confidence and self esteem. Indeed it does get better, but it's super fresh right now. Give it time.
ScienceGal Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Based upon what you wrote about her getting upset, she seems emotionally immature. But, if you're both college aged, that makes sense. Make a list of the pros and cons of the relationship, how the relationship could and couldn't work out. Be honest. If there really is no future potential, be strong and move on. There is no easy way around it. And yes, it does get better, but it is going to hurt for a long while. You're going to freak out, she is going to freak out. One or both of you will get desperate and start bargaining, this is how you've gotten back together before. Focus on yourself and being happy. Do things that you enjoy. Cut all communication off with her properly and completely (don't say anything hurtful or be a jerk). Just close the door and walk away in a respectful way. Good luck.
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