Rose_Petal Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 Hi there, My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me two months ago. I've been doing that whole taking care of me thing and trying to get on with my life. I started university this year (what a way to start...with a brake up) and have been doing a whole bunch of things I couldn't do before. I started salsa dancing, am currently in the process of enrolling in the army reserves and planning a trip to Thailand...I should be extremly happy. I thought I was, anyway. Until I heard that my ex already has a new girlfriend :S I was devastated partly because it means I was replaced quite quickly and secondly because I can't believe I'm reacting like this when it's already been two months. People say I shouldn't care about him...I dont. At least I don't think so. I don't want to get back with him but why do I still care about what he thinks? I still ask myself if he thinks about me, and I still think about our relationship often and what went wrong (go see my post "why do i feel like this?".) It was a bad break up. He dumped me two weeks before the end of the summer and we were working in the same day camp. He broke up with me on a friday night over the phone and I called him a lot the next day to find out why...he was ignoring my calls. I admit I exagerated a bit but I was all emotions and no logic. I cried and barely ate or drank for three days. Next monday at work he kissed me and told me he still loved me...he just didn't want to be with me and that he had decided to brake up with me two months earlier...ouch! He had been sleeping with me, talking to me about what our children would look like, telling me I was the love of his life while he KNEW he as gonna dump me The day after it was the opposite...he ignored me, told me I was too emotional, that I was stupid for wanting to join the army (Im a 4 foot 10 inches girl but I am very determined and love challenges). He made me feel awful and humiliated me in front of our co workers. I only called him twice during the next too weeks and texted him once to tell him to have a good night with his friends (he told me about plans he had with them). Since camp ended, I only contacted him once to ask for a painting I made for him back because there was an art exposition at university and its one of my best paintings...he demanded I give him 500$ for it :S I let it go. He also cried and told me he still loved me (This was a week before dating his new gf). Anyway I hope I didn't react to badly during the brake up...i felt like a nut case.
wilsonx Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 Rose, its ok to feel the way you do. Its called owning your feelings. No one can tell you how to act or be but you. It takes longer then 2 months to recover and be over someone in a long term relationship. Your ex has what I call "I love you but not in love with you" Grass is greener on the other side. There's nothing you can do about it but just let go and move on with your life. You are on the right track and taking control of your life and you should continue on that path. It takes a lot of time and self focus only on you to truly let go
Author Rose_Petal Posted November 14, 2011 Author Posted November 14, 2011 Rose, its ok to feel the way you do. Its called owning your feelings. No one can tell you how to act or be but you. It takes longer then 2 months to recover and be over someone in a long term relationship. Your ex has what I call "I love you but not in love with you" Grass is greener on the other side. There's nothing you can do about it but just let go and move on with your life. You are on the right track and taking control of your life and you should continue on that path. It takes a lot of time and self focus only on you to truly let go Thanks...I just wish I could stop feeling guilty...I was hard on him at the end of the relationship. And I feel like a hypocrite because I was the one who had been letting him know that I wasn't happy in the relationship and I had the intention of breaking up with him...So if I really didn't want to be with him anymore why should I feel so hurt by him leaving me? I wanted the relationship to be over... And I'm also trying to figure out why guys promise to love a woman forever and then leave with a peaceful conscience. We were each other's firsts and he said he would never want to be with another woman and that nothing could break us apart...He said he wanted to marry and grow old with me. I feel like I did something to turn him off of those dreams he seemed to have.
wilsonx Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 You were like me, you weren't happy with what was going on in the relationship, guess what he did, he was a monkey that went and jumped right into another tree while you fell on to the ground. Stay on the ground for a bit, stop looking up in the trees, look on a mirror and focus on yourself. Its ok you got played, he told you everything you wanted to hear even though you weren't happy. Its emotionally manipulating but you learn from it and know better the next time around.
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