jmy33 Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 This is going to be a little long so please bare with me. My girlfriend and me had dated for 2 years up unitl about 2 weeks ago. We began dating when i was going into my freshmen year of college and she was a junior in high school. I commuted to school so we still lived close. Everything was great for the first year and a half. We barely ever got in fights and we were very close with each others famillies. We spent everyday with one anohter and never really hungout with our friends and mostly lost contact with them. We didnt care though because we had each other. Well now she is preparing to go to college and i am getting ready to transfer schools as well. This is where everything started going south. We began fighting about anything and everything. We had small break ups but always ended up getting back together. We loved each other and couldnt let go. Well we decided on the same college. We were both excited about going to the same place away from home. However, we still kept fighting. I figured it would end once we started going to school with each other again. Well time came to go to school. I moved in to an apartment and she was in the dorms. I ended up deciding to take a semester off right before school started. So i was still living there, but not going to school. Her class schedule was hectic and we were never really able to see each other. We began fighting about that too and now it was just overwhelming. We both said we couldnt take the fighs anymore, but we always made up and stayed together. Well about a month ago we got in another fight and we broke up. We didnt talk for a few days, but one day decided to meet and talk about it to ofically close out the breakup in a civilized way. Well we met and we just couldnt hold back. We both loved each other and ended up sleeping with each other that night. I thought everything was going to be great and we were getting back together. She said she wanted to be friends for a little while longer just to clear her head. Well I knew and she knew that we couldnt stay away from each other. We ended up becoming just "friends with benefits" for about 2 weeks. We only met for sex. I only did it because i thought we would get back together. One day, out of nowhere she just stopped talking to me. I would text her and call her, but she wouldnt answer. I left her alone for a couple days even though i was freaking out. I finally decided to call her one more time. She answered and i asked what happened. Why did she just stop talking to me. She said that she couldnt handle it. She couldnt see me anymore, she didnt have time for a boyfriend and it just wouldnt work if we got back together. I couldnt believe what i was hearing. She then told me she just didnt feel the same anymore and my heart sank. She said she had to go and that we shouldnt talk anymore. I asked if we could try to be firiends and she said no. I told her i would let her go and i would leave her alone. Well its been about 2 weeks since then and i am going crazy. Ive really been trying to stick to the no contact rule. But there are some nights where its almost unbearable and i want to call her. I havent yet, but i feel like i will. I think about her everyday and every night. I cant get her out of my head. I want to stop but i cant. I recently got rid of every thing i had of hers and every picture of us. I have been hanging out with friends (who have been very supportive) and i have been trying to hang out with new girls, but it just feels wrong. Everything i do, see, or every place i go reminds me of her. I think about every memory we had all the time. The worst part is knowing that i still love her and she doesnt feel the same. What can i do to forget her? How do i stop thinking about her? I want her out of my head. I want to be able to go one night without worrying what she is doing. How long will i feel like this? Anything you guys have or any advice you have would be greatly appreciated.
ErgoStep Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 Anything that keeps your mind busy. Reading, video games, puzzles, etc. Being with friends for emotional support. I would re-emphasize the no contact rule. You want to destroy your emotional bond with this girl. She's gone. You need hope that you will find someone else. When you are in better shape inside, that's when to start actually looking for someone.
Rorschach64 Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 No Contact, time, more time, and a hell of a lot more time. I found myself, even when completely overwhelmed with military training, I thought of my ex-fiancee. Only thing that really did it for me is to let time and understanding of the situation bleed the poison out of my system, I think if I had to relive the break up weeks again I'd have gone nuts. 5.5 NC months, all quiet on both fronts, had a few gigantic urges to break the silence last month but LS snapped me out of it, funny enough it was also LS that induced the urge. Don't listen to anyone that suggests you should go out of your way to break NC with some half cocked game to get your ex back. If your ex wanted to be with you she'd be banging on your front door like a mad person.
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