counterman Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 Girls who drive aggression underground. We're all aggressive... even women. There's this whole idea that if women ruled the world, or women were just "in touch" with themselves, we'd all sit around the campfire singing Koombaya. But women are just as competitive, and just as aggressive, as men. The problem is a lot of girls don't like admitting that, because it's not "nice." Girls are taught to be passive and be friends with everybody. But instead of confronting the fact that such gender roles are confining and being honest with themselves, some girls will instead take their natural aggression and use it covertly, ie gossip and backstabbing. I have a girl I considered a very close friend for over a year. I was interested in dating an old ex of hers (broke up years ago, only dated for a very short period of time.) When I asked her if it was okay, she was "Oh yeah fine!" Yet she c*ck blocked me every time, flirting with him herself when I was around even though she has a boyfriend. Turns out he told her flat out he liked me. Not only did she not tell me, but she told him I was crazy! When I confronted her about this dual behavior, she feigned ignorance and acted as if nothing was wrong to my face. I can't even discuss the issue with her without being accused of "causing drama." I've run into far too many girls like that in my life. It's something I really admire about guys... if they have a problem with you, they'll either deal with you, deal with the problem themselves, or leave you alone. They're rarely nice to your face and then whisper about you behind your back. Also the love of reality show baffles me to no end. Yes, I don't like that two-faced sort of behaviour: say one thing to your face and behave differently when you're not around. Before, I thought it was mostly something girls did until I had several guy friends do this to me... which is the total opposite to what I would do for my friends. I would never cock block them, in fact, I would almost always do the opposite and talk them up or give them a bit of social proof. Bottom line is I have no room in my life for people who treat me this way, how they say nasty things behind my back and try to be a my friend to my face. I wouldn't associate this with just one gender but I've just been noticing it with own with those around me. What happened to bros being bros?
Emilia Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 Yes, I don't like that two-faced sort of behaviour: say one thing to your face and behave differently when you're not around. Before, I thought it was mostly something girls did until I had several guy friends do this to me... which is the total opposite to what I would do for my friends. I would never cock block them, in fact, I would almost always do the opposite and talk them up or give them a bit of social proof. Bottom line is I have no room in my life for people who treat me this way, how they say nasty things behind my back and try to be a my friend to my face. I wouldn't associate this with just one gender but I've just been noticing it with own with those around me. What happened to bros being bros? I think it's just weak people in general.
Emilia Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 This is just a surreptitious way of Woggle getting women to attack themselves. The only difference between this and his other posts is it saves him the trouble of doing it himself. Just another case of spreading the hate on LS and everywhere .... I disagree, it's healthy to express generic things you don't like about your own gender. The most hate in this thread is in your message. Ironic really.
oaks Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 My complaint about men is that they put up with threads like this.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 I hate how catty and mean women can be. While seceretly harboring so many of their own insecurties and mocking others for what they perceive shoudld be their insecurities. And some women tend to lean on the heavily controling side because of their inability to trust their own man that they picked themselves.
RiverRunning Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 A lot of women seem desperate to get into a relationship, desperate to get married and desperate to keep the guy. I have watched a relative of mine repeatedly dump and go back to her drunken deadbeat boyfriend. She gets crazy jealous whenever he's looking at another woman. The sad thing is this relative had started dating someone else and he was a good and stable guy, but he couldn't take her fixation on the drunk and stopped calling her. There are women who want to be waited on hand-and-foot. My sister-in-law's family was -entirely- like that. She and her sister didn't do squatola. Their dad did everything for them...down to fueling up their cars/getting them cleaned/taking them in for oil changes. They are both princesses. Whenever my brother was moving, I HATED it because they would be there to "help"...i.e., I'd see them carry ONE. TINY. BAG. over the course of several hours, and otherwise they would sit there, look pretty and whine about how they were 'too weak' to do anything else. I don't think it's an isolated incident. I remember back in high school, I was in a group that was doing a car wash fund-raiser. The girls laid out tanning, talking or gossiping. I was the only one actually working. I remember several of the guys came up to me at the end of the day and made a point of thanking me in front of the rest of them for being the "only girl to do something." I think there are a LOT of lazy princess-types out there who think they shouldn't have to do any manual labor if there's a man around. There are women out there who are gold-diggers. The man is only as important to them as his wallet is big because they don't want to work or support themselves. They're only concerned with what they can take from somebody. And there are a lot of gossipy women. I remember that I was hanging out with a pack of girls who I thought were very good friends of mine. But I was having some problems at home and passed up on some hang-outs in a row. A male friend came to me and mentioned some of the awful things they were saying about me. It turns out this was the garbage they had been spewing for years behind my back. One of the girls was incredibly jealous about my friendship with this male friend (which was entirely platonic on both ends - he was gay and we all knew it). I threw a party and she made a point of attending...and doing her very best to lay on how close she and the male friend were to me. Every second was, "Joe and I love to do x, y, and z. Have you ever done that with Joe?" She was trying to assess how close he and I were. "Joe" confided to me that this friend constantly tore me down, begged him to drop me as a friend, even told him that she and he were closer than he and I were. Eventually he dropped her for being a complete nutter. Women are crazy. A lot of the ones I've met, anyway.
grkBoy Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 My criticism of men is mainly that today's male won't act like a MAN. Most of the guys I know seemingly either fall into the realm of doormats and misogynists. The doormats every day complain to death and keep trying to believe that their problem is only that women want abusive jerks. They want to believe they are perfect "as is" and think women are the problem. They never understand that attraction goes both ways, that Ms Hottie wants Mr Hottie...not Mr Bland or Mr Ugly. Many of these guys also think it's purely physical...like their problems will be solved if they hit the gym, go shopping for nicer clothes, and get a sports car. The misogynists are similar to the doormats, but many of them do get laid. Unfortunately they sit in a world of hating women and wishing they could overturn women's rights so men are in full control. For all they do, they still go off about how marriage is a trap, women are gold digging whores, and even moan about why women can't just be happy with sex and nothing more. Then there are all the "man children". Both sides fall into this. The guys who don't seem to "get it" that a relationship means "you and her". They have issues with dating and even see it mainly as this mundane act they have to put on in the hopes of getting laid. They get mad at how they can't play video games all night because they decided to have a relationship with a woman. They get mad that they can't watch football all weekend because she wants quality time...and is in the right because you're both busy all week working. They are also the guys who can't get out of their parent's house because they decided to be slackers. I'm not talking about guys who had careers, lost it, and are regrouping. I'm talking the guys who didn't bother with college or got a "wipe your arse with it" degree and now live in their parent's basement with plenty of money for a big TV, XBox 360, PS3, and a new car...but they still avoid commitment or "growing up", despite that they want a woman. I know my reply here is longer than the one I did for women, but that's because my issues with my own gender are a bit more diverse than with women. With women, it's the simple factor of that they live on emotion too much. With men, it's that too many want to be boys for as long as possible and avoid growing up. They also want to think unrealistically about what relationships, marriage, etc...are about.
freestyle Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 Most of the complaints about women have already been covered, so I won't go into them too much--I do totally agree that there are a lot of women who can be catty, competitive, and backstabbing. Smiling to your face, but whispering behind your back. They can be absolute bullies when there's no witnesses, but put on the Miss Mary Sunshine act in public. One of my biggest gripes about my own gender are the women who only remember their friends when they're in-between romantic interests. As soon as there's a guy in the picture, they fall off the face of the earth, or slip into some alternate dimension. I totally expect to see less of a friend when they get involved in a romance--it's understandable---but I've seen it happen too many times where the woman completely cuts off ALL of her old friends. Then when the relationship goes south--suddenly they're calling you for a shoulder to cry on, fully expecting you to "be there for them" even though they pulled a disappearing act. I've finally learned to weed those types of friends out of my garden.
twister4 Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 Women want men to "take care of them" and pay for everything.
dasein Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 This is just a surreptitious way of Woggle getting women to attack themselves. The only difference between this and his other posts is it saves him the trouble of doing it himself. Just another case of spreading the hate on LS and everywhere .... The above is just a surreptitious way to turn this interesting and informative thread into an exercise in "woggle bashing." Please spare us.
dasein Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 One of my biggest gripes about my own gender are the women who only remember their friends when they're in-between romantic interests. Want to add this to my "man list" as well. It's hard to say that people who disappear from your life the minute they get into a relationship, then magically come back expecting things to pick up where they left off when things break up, are not true friends, but that may be the reality of it.
freestyle Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 Want to add this to my "man list" as well. It's hard to say that people who disappear from your life the minute they get into a relationship, then magically come back expecting things to pick up where they left off when things break up, are not true friends, but that may be the reality of it. well, you learn something new everyday---I didn't realize that some men did that to each other as well. I made that mistake ONCE, in my early twenties--got completely immersed in the relationship I was in at the time, and neglected to stay in touch, or make time for my friends. When we broke up three years later, I was left holding the bag, and I'd lost touch with almost everyone. After that, I promised myself never to become so focused on one person that I had no one else in my life.........I made a point of nurturing my friendships, even when I got romantically involved again. Friends will still be there,(ideally) even if a romance goes sour---so I think it's foolish to treat friends like they aren't important in all seasons. But the sad truth I've learned, is that some folks never figure that out.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 I'm having a tough time finding the value in spending time criticizing my gender (or... read the other thread) the other gender either. Not sure what wisdom is gained by lumping any group of people into some catch-all... although, it seems some people need this kind of gross simplification in order to create some bizarre sense of camaraderie or feel important in some way. personally, I prefer to view people as individuals. For instance... I'm just as likely to enjoy hanging out with the ladies in the knitting circle as I am a bunch of tough-talking guys at the local lumber yard, to be completely honest. The fact that I know how to do both (knit and wield power tools with some skill) doesn't say much else about me except I'm 'handy'... ya need a nice winter cap or scarf? Ok, got it. Need a new shed for your backyard? Here I am with the circular saw and a level, if you need a hand.
freestyle Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 Actually I do see a value in this thread---in some ways, it's shed some light on the fact that some issues are common, regardless of gender. (the previous exchange between dasein and me, for example--we both have an issue with friends disappearing when they're in relationships) So I see a potential in this thread for closing the gap between genders...... For example , when someone makes a blanket generalization about the opposite gender: "All women do this........." OR "All men think that......." I think this thread can help to dispel some of those myths. For me, personally, hearing some of the male posters here calling out other men for certain behaviors---helps me to keep in mind that not ALL men are like that. Hopefully it's working that way for some of the guys, too.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 There are traits of what is considered stereotypic "female" behavior that I don't like. Plenty of them. Same goes for male behavior. Further, I do believe that in general, there are innate differences between men and women - though there are parts of each of us, as far as I can tell, that fall outside of the "norms" for our gender as well as individuals who don't conform to any of them at all. Despite that, I can't go to a place of attributing any characteristics to my gender or yours and either criticizing or praising them. I could get behind looking at things that society has led people to believe about my own gender, and which I am not happy about when I see girls or women adopting. Some of these would be: Blatant use of sexuality to manipulate. Disrespect of ones own sexuality, instead, using it as a "tool." A predisposition to codependence. An acceptance of a "victim" role, and of waiting to be "rescued." Buying into unrealistic romanticized characterizations of "love" and "happiness." Expecting to get a great deal out of life because of physical appearance. Excessive vanity. Lack of respect for same gender friendships; putting other girls / women in a role of competitive adversity rather than potential friends. I really want to reiterate here that I don't believe these are qualities of being a girl or woman, though they are often attributed to us and we see a lot of girls / women buying into these negative stereotypes.
jobaba Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 I generally get along pretty well with other men. Especially non alpha type men. But even the alpha types, I'm usually pretty cool with, if not extremely tight. The only real complaint I have is with men who feel like they need to put other men down to ease their own securities. Guys who put down guys shorter, smaller, or guys they perceive to be less attractive than them. I mean, I've had a guy an inch taller than me and maybe 20 pounds heavier call me a TINY GUY. Generally, it doesn't have to do with the guy's looks either. I've met some tall, good looking dudes who were really down to earth cool guys. Guys that I consider a real catch for a woman.
dasein Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 I'm having a tough time finding the value in spending time criticizing my gender (or... read the other thread) the other gender either. Well if you feel that way, there are always the more substantial threads of gravitas here on the dating board to post in, you know the serious ones where a guy wonders why his text wasn't returned in two hours or the girl upset because her BF won't change his FB status to "in a relationship." Something here on the dating board for all of us from the mundane all the way to the mundane.
anne1707 Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 Things I don't like that some women do.... wearing too much make-upcrying to get their own wayfeeling entitled to be loved and adored just because of their lookshaving nothing to talk about because all they do is watch trash TV and read Heat magazinewearing make-up in the gym & not exercising enough to break into a sweatwanting men to do anything vaguely physical because they are "too weak" to lift and carrybeing cattynot taking the initiativefake tan, fake nails, fake hair, fake boobsneeding to have a boyfriend, any boyfriend will doobsessing over their appearance/weight
Negative Nancy Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 (edited) Three things that annoy me the most: - I hate when women stand together in a group and they all giggle so damn stupidly. It makes me wanna punch them straight on the nose to stop that stupid sound, every single one of them. - I hate the sound of high heels on a pavement, seriously, I cannot stand it and wish women would break their effin legs every time they use these annoying attention tools. - I hate how women use the stupidest girlie topics and that cackling laugh to bond with each other. I can't describe it...whenever there's women together, they talk about stupidest, mindless small talk, "oh my gooosh, like, i knooooooooow, i totally did the same thing last year, and then...." Shut the **** up, seriously Needless to say, none of the three things above apply to me. I'm a cool chick with cool shoes and a cool sense of humor that only talks about interesting things. Edited November 14, 2011 by Negative Nancy
Author Woggle Posted November 14, 2011 Author Posted November 14, 2011 This is just a surreptitious way of Woggle getting women to attack themselves. The only difference between this and his other posts is it saves him the trouble of doing it himself. Just another case of spreading the hate on LS and everywhere .... Men are just as free to have a look at themselves.
Author Woggle Posted November 14, 2011 Author Posted November 14, 2011 I don't like men who can't seem to talk about anything other than sports. Don't you have any other interests. I don't like when men start getting into right wing politics because they mistakenly believe it is a way to fight feminism I don't like when men don't want to try anything new. I sometimes entertain people we do business with from out of town and I try to show the guys some local flavor and they want to go to Applebee's or one of those place.
allina Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 - I hate the sound of high heels on a pavement, seriously, I cannot stand it and wish women would break their effin legs every time they use these annoying attention tools. Way to flip out over women's shoe choices
Pyro Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 -I don't like guys who have to treat everything as a competition. Even when I am first introduced some of them feel the need to start talking about how much money they make or what fancy gadgets or what car they own........none of that impresses me or makes me feel inferior. -I also can't stand the number of guys who make the entire female gender pay for the sins of a past ex who may have screwed him over in some way. Yes breakups do suck but you will eventually heal.
gaypig Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 Men like to play "pull my finger" jokes to much and fart quite a bit more than woman plus think it's funny. Laugh out loud about it.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 I taught my niece how to make fart noises on her arm and shoot the paper wrapping off of straws... She did really enjoy watching my dog jump off the couch when she made the fart noises. Plus it annoyed her dad (my sister's a-hole ex-husband) to no end. Yes, I'm helping raise a delicate young lady (ha ha).
Recommended Posts