Jman171 Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 (edited) Background Info I had been dating my ex for 9 months, and they were good months until the last month when she eventually dumped me because, "It wasn't working." I went NC for 2 months after that, and she eventually came running back to me, but only for 3 months. She had been getting progressively more, and more cold, eventually ignoring and not speaking to me for a week before she ended it with me because she was to busy with work and school (which is a valid reason, but the disrespect I felt from being ignored made me feel like gum stuck to the bottom of her shoe). During the second 3 month try we only had sex about 5 times, because we both live with our parents, but still 5 times is ridiculously low amount of physical activity, and I felt like I was just there to keep her company. Currently I should say that I still foolishly have a immense love for her even after she dumped me TWICE. I feel pathetic for wanting a third chance with her, but the yearning is there. After the second break-up I went NC again for a month, and would constantly get texts from her with either little messages, or asking me to hang out with her. It hurts every time I get a text from her and I know I shouldn't answer it. I felt like recently she was coming off strong enough to the point where she wanted to try and rekindle something more than a platonic friendship. So I meet up with her and we have a good time and we're flirting with each other, and that is that, but yesterday night is where I really get confused. We were both drunk, and I had found out that she slept with someone we both mutually know. She went up to me that night and cuddled with me and hugged my arm, often accompanied by a kiss on the cheek or shoulder and an, "I love you." I was pissed off about her sleeping with that friend, but it wasn't when we were together so I didn't flip out, I kinda just accepted that it happened when we weren't together. And just today we decided to take a trip to the mall together and eat food, and watch a movie, but she had been acting much more distant this time around, and I dropped her off after our little date. After it I asked her about the previous night where she had been holding me saying that she loved me, and whether she meant it in a platonic or romantic way, however she just plainly responded with a, "(my name), we're not going to get back together." This just shattered me and I'm feeling so low right now. I told her that this means we probably can't be friends cause I can't see her as just a friend, and she said that she understood. I just don't know what happened to us along the road, and why I still love her so much after being ditched two times, and discovering about her having sex with the friend. I probably feel this way cause she is the first girl I have ever truly loved, and she was my first for pretty much everything. I know I shouldn't want a third chance with her as it just shows that I'm here to stick around no matter how you treat me, but every fiber in me wants to have a loving relationship with her. I guess I could just use some moral support or something like that as I go through NC for the third time. I should have never broken it the last time... Edited November 14, 2011 by Jman171
Author Jman171 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 This should serve as warning for all of you out there. Stick to NC; don't settle for breadcrumbs and the same dumb crap you were put through before.
ChelseaLS Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 Jman I am sorry for your pain. Sounds like she is stringing you along until she finds someone else, and that is ****ty and unfair. I often ask myself WHY I still love my ex and why I cannot seem to move forward. It's a ****ty limbo to be in. I wish you the best of luck of your future and healing.
Author Jman171 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 Thanks Chelsea, always nice to hear words of encouragement at a time like this!
ChelseaLS Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 I am sorry I have no advice for you. All I know is that I feel your pain. I understand the not being able to be friends... I could never be friends with my ex, it would just be keeping wounds open. My ex and I were together 6 years, lived together 4.5 years and we currently work together. So take the chance to go full on NC, I hear it works wonders. I can only do LC, but it certainly helps!
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