ReallyNice Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 I've been dating this amazing guy for almost a month.....we hit it off right away and we have everything in common. From the start we would spend 3 or 4 days out of the week together and go on trips out of the city. He made the first move and said that he was attracted to me etc. We continued to hang out more and more and one night he kissed me and it lead straight to sex. Then every time we hung we would end up having sex. After the 1st time (sex) we decided to start dating. We really have feelings for each other. But he's not ready for a relationship. I've afraid of being used but i am ready for a relationship. We've talked about it, and he's said that he does want it.....but the timing isn't right. but we love spending time together. We had our 1st official wine and dine date last week and it went good.....i could tell something was on his mind though, but i didn't want to talk more about a relationship. We ended up having sex that night too. However after that day he all of a sudden stopped talking and texting like he used to. but he would always text me back. We didn't hang out or talk really all week and the one time he offers to hang with me at my house, he shows up drunk and brings his friends with him. Last night we hung out too with my two friends. and we ended up going back to his place. It felt really awkward and we ended up having a talk that ended up with him telling me that he was made out with other people and that he doesn't want to be physical anymore. He still has feelings for me but he's not even sure if we're dating anymore. He thinks i still have feelings for my ex and he doesn't want to feel guilty anymore about hanging out with other people. He said that he's wants it to be the way it was before we starting having sex. WTF? I'm really hurt by this, and i feel used. should i hang out with him anyway or just stop talking to him?
D-Lish Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 I'm really hurt by this, and i feel used. should i hang out with him anyway or just stop talking to him? I'd think you'd have your own answer to that question given what's happened and how he makes you feel. It really bothers me when women don't respect themselves enough to walk away from situations like this. The simple answer is to walk away and don't allow yourself to be manipulated or used by this person.
mike588 Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 I've been dating this amazing guy for almost a month.....we hit it off right away and we have everything in common. From the start we would spend 3 or 4 days out of the week together and go on trips out of the city. He made the first move and said that he was attracted to me etc. We continued to hang out more and more and one night he kissed me and it lead straight to sex. Then every time we hung we would end up having sex. After the 1st time (sex) we decided to start dating. We really have feelings for each other. But he's not ready for a relationship. I've afraid of being used but i am ready for a relationship. We've talked about it, and he's said that he does want it.....but the timing isn't right. but we love spending time together. We had our 1st official wine and dine date last week and it went good.....i could tell something was on his mind though, but i didn't want to talk more about a relationship. We ended up having sex that night too. However after that day he all of a sudden stopped talking and texting like he used to. but he would always text me back. We didn't hang out or talk really all week and the one time he offers to hang with me at my house, he shows up drunk and brings his friends with him. Last night we hung out too with my two friends. and we ended up going back to his place. It felt really awkward and we ended up having a talk that ended up with him telling me that he was made out with other people and that he doesn't want to be physical anymore. He still has feelings for me but he's not even sure if we're dating anymore. He thinks i still have feelings for my ex and he doesn't want to feel guilty anymore about hanging out with other people. He said that he's wants it to be the way it was before we starting having sex. WTF? I'm really hurt by this, and i feel used. should i hang out with him anyway or just stop talking to him? Do you still have feelings for your ex.??
Berlington Bob Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 My fiance left me for a guy like this... He's a player. He might not be a mean guy but he just wants to date whoever he wants. I used to be just like that. I felt like if I got into a serious relationship and ended up getting married to the girl that I would regret not having my "adventure" years. Not much you can do to change it and hanging out with him will just mean that when he feels like he has no prospects he will try to get you in bed again and you get to feel like this all over again. I know it hurts but try not to let it get you too down. There are plenty of guys that would like nothing better than to commit.
geegirl Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 Seems like the kind that was just interested in casual dating. Once the word "relationship" came up, it soured for him. He can't have sex with you without feeling like he is leading you on when he knows he can't give you anything more. So he is reverting. Telling you he thinks you still have leftover emotions for your ex is just an excuse to alleviate his guilt. Don't believe that you can change him by enticing him with your company or sex (he may try to get it). Get out if you are emotional, which I see that you are. Respect yourself.
fredrickhsalas Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 I've been dating this amazing guy for almost a month.....we hit it off right away and we have everything in common. From the start we would spend 3 or 4 days out of the week together and go on trips out of the city. He made the first move and said that he was attracted to me etc. We continued to hang out more and more and one night he kissed me and it lead straight to sex. Then every time we hung we would end up having sex. After the 1st time (sex) we decided to start dating. We really have feelings for each other. But he's not ready for a relationship. I've afraid of being used but i am ready for a relationship. We've talked about it, and he's said that he does want it.....but the timing isn't right. but we love spending time together. We had our 1st official wine and dine date last week and it went good.....i could tell something was on his mind though, but i didn't want to talk more about a relationship. We ended up having sex that night too. However after that day he all of a sudden stopped talking and texting like he used to. but he would always text me back. We didn't hang out or talk really all week and the one time he offers to hang with me at my house, he shows up drunk and brings his friends with him. Last night we hung out too with my two friends. and we ended up going back to his place. It felt really awkward and we ended up having a talk that ended up with him telling me that he was made out with other people and that he doesn't want to be physical anymore. He still has feelings for me but he's not even sure if we're dating anymore. He thinks i still have feelings for my ex and he doesn't want to feel guilty anymore about hanging out with other people. He said that he's wants it to be the way it was before we starting having sex. WTF? I'm really hurt by this, and i feel used. should i hang out with him anyway or just stop talking to him? I think you done something that is not usual..having sex to him and rely to a relation that is not sure.....You better stop it now while it is early so that you could avoid much pain in the future.
Author ReallyNice Posted November 21, 2011 Author Posted November 21, 2011 yeah, right now i'm super hurt again......and really confused.... I was hanging out with my friend last night and she told me that a mutual friend (her best friend) had sex with him two days before he said that he didn't want to date me anymore...... He told me he didn't want to date on a saturday night and that he didn't want to be physical because he made out with someone and he felt super guilty. On the following monday, we decided that we were just going to be the way we used to be before we started having sex. I was cool with that. So on tuesday we hung out again.....and had sex again. -__- and he hung out friday of that same week.....and had sex again. But it felt like that way things used to feel. I'm just going to talk to him today... I'm so confused. I feel like he said all of that because he felt so bad and made a huge mistake about sleeping with her. I've done the same in past relationships......
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