smarty Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 Hi, I already wrote the long version of my story here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t302340/, but I will try to keep this a bit "shorter". Basically, I met a girl online with whom I've been talking to for more than 1,5 years and we've become "online friends". At first we only exchanged messages on FB, but after a couple of months we really hit off. Eventually she wanted (well, kinda pushed me) to talk with her on ICQ and Skype, because she wanted to see me more often. Around this time, December, she told me that she decided to take a break from her BF (or rather, the person who she fancied but who was not interested in her). Basically, she was heartbroken and I was there to pick up the pieces and support her (yeah, you could say that I was her emotional crutch), although I just didn't wanted to see her sad and wanted to support her as a friend. She became very attached to me during this period, always wanted to talk, even saying that she considered it a daily need, etc. For the next 6 months, we would usually always talk a couple of times in the week and these months were a rollercoaster ride to me in the sense that sometimes she would just dissapear for days without saying anything or barely acknowledge me, while other times she would be very clingy like she almost could not live without me. Honestly, I suspected that she was having relationship issues and just needed someone to keep her company when things were rough. After these 6 months, I noticed that things changed in the summer. I found out that she was back in a relationship and she became more distant than ever before. Eventually I just flat out told her I how I felt and asked whether it was still comfortable to her to communicate with me or if it would be better to take a "break". I just felt like she had mentally checked out of the friendship, or was preoccupied with other things, and I just wanted a bit of clarity. She kinda dodged the question and said that everything was fine, that the reason was unrelated with me (I suspect it was because of her BF situation, but over the next months she would give me many vague reasons: e.g. she was tired during the day, she had guests, was too busy with study), and that she would definitely write me. Over the next 3 months, things would remain like this. We barely talked anymore and I would sometimes ask about this, and she said that she was communicating less with everyone, and that I was a wonderful person but that she could not write as often as before. In September things seemed to be a bit better again. We send each other messages on FB, although her replies were short, but late September I screwed up. One morning I saw that she was online and I asked her how she was. She did not answer, so I wrote her if she was busy….again nothing. I left and in the evening I saw that she still had not responded, even though she had been online the entire day. I asked if everything was still OK between us....again nothing. Weird...so I wrote, that I just wanted to know if she was still going to answer that day and that this was the lowest point after communicating with her for more than 1,5 years. I told her that I was not angry or something, but that I was a human being and not a robot. I pretty soon regretted writing those words, apologized, and asked her to forget everything. However that same evening, she deleted me from FB and ICQ, and even blocked me on FB which meant that I could not send her messages there anymore. I did manage to speak to her on Skype, apologized and asked for a chance to explain. She told me that she deleted me because she already explained to me many times that if she does not respond immediately, then it means that she will respond when she has time. She told me that I just did not understand and that she could not communicate every day and that I did not had to wait the entire time until she came online. I told her that I never wanted to communicate every day, and that for me the main thing was that to her it was comfortable. I asked if she could add me again, but she said that she did not want to. She told me that we would talk later and left. I was a bit scared that I lost her, so on the same evening I wrote her an apology letter. I decided to give her time and did not come online for a week. A week later she wrote me, asking me how I was. However, in the meantime, I already made a video message for her, because I wanted to apologize in person. I said that I behaved like an idiot, and that I wished I had understood her better. I asked her to forgive me, and I told her that if she still wants to communicate with me, then we would talk when it would be comfortable for her. After I send the video message, I was online on Skype for the entire next week, usually almost the entire day hoping to see her and just to get a chance to reconcile. I did not see her that week, but noticed on one evening that she deleted me in Skype (I guess she used the “show me as offline” function). This was 1,5 week after I send the video message. I was quite upset, and made a new profile on FB in order to send her a goodbye message. She also blocked that account....I don’t even know if she read my message, and so far that has been it. I have been in NC now for over a month. Do you think that I freaked her out (by being too present or because of the video message) or that she was just tired of me for being too clingy? Or could there be another reason? And how to proceed now? Everybody tells me that she was a lousy "friend" and to forget her, and I am living my life. It is just that I regret that we are not on speaking terms anymore, because we got along so well. I don't know how I will feel about this in a couple of months, but would it be okay to write her a letter and say hi in a couple of months, (she has her birthday late February) when the dust has maybe settled a bit? Thanks for reading and feel free to ask questions.
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