Laziness and their frustration

[mr.dream merchant]

Have you ever met a lovely woman and after a day or two of texting she wants to call you? Have you ever been so exhausted after a long days work that you didnt feel like sitting on the phone pretending to be interested in her topic of discussion?

 

This has been an issue for me. From 6-8 AM to 10:30 PM, Mon-Fri, I'm on the go. When I get home, the couple of hours left in the day I want purely for relaxation, peace of mind, self collection, etc..

 

The problem with this is that some women, well alot really, want to capitalize on those hours to talk on the phone. Every dodged and declined phone convo offer pushes them away, I guess they feel unwanted though they do fully understand my situation. It may not seem like much to place a phone call and talk, but I'm so strapped for time to myself, I hardly ever want to give up that time.

 

I understand in order to win a woman over as a man you have to make sacrifices but sheesh, its as if they hardly understand my schedule. They get mad. Decline my offer to keep up a text convo, etc. One chewed me out saying I'm not taking her seriously because she wants to talk on the phone but can't seem to get that from me, lol.

 

How do other busy men out there manage? Dating is starting to feel like a chore. Keep in mind I am seeing and talking to several women. Maybe they can sense that? Women ask for alot :/. Especially time, and when they want it. It seems I'm on their watch but the second they're on mine its an issue, hmmm.

Edited November 13, 2011 by mr.dream merchant

[USMCHokie]

If you're that legitimately busy, then don't date. If a woman were in a similar situation as you, I'd deem her undateable and move on. It's nothing personal, but I expect a certain level of time commitment from her as she'd expect from me. You can still give them time but do it on your schedule, just so long as you give it to them. Too tired to talk? Then tell them when you'll call them back and make sure to follow through with it.

 

There will be times in all our lives when dating has to take a back seat to all our other sh*t.

[mr.dream merchant]

I am that busy but would still like to date, it idn't working out too well.

 

Lol when I do give a time where we can talk and that time comes, 9/10 times I am very exhausted and don't feel like talking, which usually leads to me not responding, or if I do and tell them I'm beat they end up annoyed.

[FitChick]

If you don't have enough time and are too tired to talk on the phone, surely you are too tired to date, which involves actually getting up and taking time to go somewhere. Webcam sex sounds like your best bet. You don't have to leave your couch.

[lordWilhelm]

I agree with USMCHokie. Sounds like you're overcommitted and need to cut down on something. Maybe your worktime. Or, you say you're dating several women -- maybe that's too much for you to handle, so cut that number down to, say, one-at-a-time.

[PlumPrincess]

What's your reason for dating if you don't have time for anything? If I were a guy and didn't mind casual sex, I'd skip the emotional part (aka talking and bonding) and just hook up with someone in a bar.

 

And yes, dating various women, when you don't even have time for one, is greedy.

[forms]

If you don't have time to talk on the phone for 20 minutes how will you have time to date?

 

And if you are talking to several women on the phone, why do you need more?

 

And if you have to 'pretend' to be interested in the phone call, why even take anything further with them?

 

It's not that they can sense you are talking to other women, it's because they know absolutely you aren't very interested.

 

And you aren't. You have to pretend interest.

[ErgoStep]

I understand in order to win a woman over as a man you have to make sacrifices but sheesh, its as if they hardly understand my schedule. They get mad. Decline my offer to keep up a text convo, etc. One chewed me out saying I'm not taking her seriously because she wants to talk on the phone but can't seem to get that from me, lol.

 

As a man is key. When she is being bossy she is wearing the pants in the relationship. Many women want to instruct. Need to instruct.

 

If you allow this to be a pattern it will continue further down the road.

 

For this specific issue, I would consider a few texts during the day and ten minutes conversation in the evening to be appropriate. The weekend is when you really have the time and energy to invest in dating.

 

You have good reasons to limit contact on weekdays.

[ErgoStep]

I might add. The women you describe are extroverts.

 

An introvert might be more what you're looking for.

[Cypress25]

Aw, poor baby, you're too busy to juggle several women at once. My sympathy knows no bounds.

[Ilovewater]

Well, for most women (or people in generally), they will not be able to connect emotionally through pure texting. On the phone, you're able to hear each other's voice, tone, etc. It's much easier to connect that way. If you don't have 20 minutes to talk, then how to expect women to feel connected to you? It's not an unreasonable expectation at all.

 

I understand dating is difficult when you have a hectic schedule, but if you're really into someone, you will make time for that person. When my boyfriend and I were still in a long-distance relationship (with a 3-hour difference), we still made time to talk to each other at night for at least 30 minutes even though he was working 2 jobs and I was in class and studying from 9 AM - 12 AM. Sacrifices have to be made if you want to date.

[dasein]

Cut the conversations short. There's no need to sit there talking for hours.